i am alive
i love listening to the boondock saints' theme song. it's such a beautiful celtic melody, and the chord progression just makes me want to weep.
it makes me feel so many emotions at once. it makes me look at my life and think about my home and my family. i realize i have a family that loves me unconditionally, a home i hold very dear to my heart, and there's nothing that could take that away from me save god himself. it makes me think of how i'll be leaving it behind so soon. i know i'm not going far away - lexington is hardly far away - but i am traveling to a whole other world. i am as ready as i'll ever be to go, but that doesn't say much about me. i am terrified for one reason or another. it's just the unknown that terrifies people. i am so excited about getting away, but leaving has never been one of my favorie verbs.
but my god, it's so much easier to think with this song on. i don't understand it. i wish i could explain it in words. it makes me think of how sorry i am for things i've done and how many regrets i have that i wish i didn't, but i know there's nothing i can do but accept them now. i wish i could have seen more of my friends before i leave and tell them all that i love them and they really will always have that cliche special place in my heart. i want to patch up wrongs and other problems i've had with others, i want to shake hands and hug and say we forgive each other for absolutely everything and i want to apologize so much for the hurts i have caused all of them, but at this point it's impossible. they're all leaving me as quickly as i'm leaving them. on the phone it's just not the same.
now i know i need to write another song.
this is so much like how i felt before i left for europe. it's weird.
listen to this song. now.
http://www.myspace.com/boondocksaints3456 it's called "irish drinking song"
it makes me feel so many emotions at once. it makes me look at my life and think about my home and my family. i realize i have a family that loves me unconditionally, a home i hold very dear to my heart, and there's nothing that could take that away from me save god himself. it makes me think of how i'll be leaving it behind so soon. i know i'm not going far away - lexington is hardly far away - but i am traveling to a whole other world. i am as ready as i'll ever be to go, but that doesn't say much about me. i am terrified for one reason or another. it's just the unknown that terrifies people. i am so excited about getting away, but leaving has never been one of my favorie verbs.
but my god, it's so much easier to think with this song on. i don't understand it. i wish i could explain it in words. it makes me think of how sorry i am for things i've done and how many regrets i have that i wish i didn't, but i know there's nothing i can do but accept them now. i wish i could have seen more of my friends before i leave and tell them all that i love them and they really will always have that cliche special place in my heart. i want to patch up wrongs and other problems i've had with others, i want to shake hands and hug and say we forgive each other for absolutely everything and i want to apologize so much for the hurts i have caused all of them, but at this point it's impossible. they're all leaving me as quickly as i'm leaving them. on the phone it's just not the same.
now i know i need to write another song.
this is so much like how i felt before i left for europe. it's weird.
listen to this song. now.
http://www.myspace.com/boondocksaints3456 it's called "irish drinking song"