And he felt in his heart their strangeness

[time_shark]

At No Shame Theatre on Friday, a fellow sf and poetry reader approached me with an idea for a form poem that sounded to me to be impossibly difficult, but which I'll share here in case someone really wants to tackle it or knows of an example in which it has been tackled

Comments

[lnhammer]

I'm having trouble imagining being able to keep it up for 16 lines.

---L.

[time_shark]

Doing it for four will impress me!

[dkolodji]

Because your example was river bank vs savings bank, that stuck in my head and I couldn't get rid of it:

A Kid’s ATM

We played by the River Bank
near the current deposits.
The dam of an angry beaver followed us
as we withdrew for dinner.

[time_shark]

I bow to you. I need to show this to Eliot...

I used homophones instead of -nyms.

[joannemerriam]

Hospital Apocalpyse

The patient's demands erode, never come to an end.
We retreat to the aisle and die. Cheap,
to grade birds on their singing. With me,
all the world preys.

The patience demands a road never come to an end.
We retreat to the isle and I cheep,
two grayed birds on there, singing with me.
All the world prays.

Not really such a hot poem, but fun to write.

Re: I used homophones instead of -nyms.

[time_shark]

Ah, but it's no sin to revel in cleverness once in a while. Well done!