[FIC] You Can't Choose What Stays and What Fades Away (2/?)
title: you can't choose what stays and what fades away (2/?)
pairing: kangin/eeteuk (side donghae/eunhyuk)
rating: R
warnings: dark themes
summary: how far would you go to find the truth?
notes: got bored, wrote this out after the first chapter. :)
disclaimer: i do not own the members of super junior. i'm considering bribing the devil.
“Hey! You took my toothbrush again!”
“No, I didn’t! Mine’s blue.”
“No, yours is red, mine is blue.”
Jungsu sighs as his friends keep arguing. It’s like this every couple of weeks. He turns off the rice cooker. “Anything else I can do?” he asks.
Hyukjae looks up from the frying pan he’s cooking on. “You can put water on for tea, if you can.”
Jungsu rolls his eyes. “When will you teach me how to cook, Hyuk? I’m sure I can do more than boil water.”
The dancer chuckles. “One day, when we’re all not so frazzled from work schedules.” He pats Jungsu’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. Youngwoon still loves you, even if you can’t cook.”
“That’s true,” and Youngwoon breezes in, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend’s head before sneaking by Hyukjae and to the fridge. He’s about to drink out of the milk carton when Hyukjae slaps his hand with the spatula. “Yah! That’s assault!”
“Oh, don’t use your cop talk on me,” Hyukjae says, going back to the eggs that are sizzling in the pan.
Youngwoon wrinkles his nose but says nothing else as he obediently gets a glass from the cabinet and pours milk into it. He’s still in training, yes, but he’s a police officer nonetheless. He takes night classes and does hourly shadowing with an experienced mentor, as per the requirements of the program the university placed him in.
“By the way, your toothbrush is red,” Jungsu adds.
Youngwoon nearly chokes on his milk. He manages to swallow it before sticking his tongue out and running a finger over it and his teeth. “Damn it! Now I’ve got Hae germs.”
“I heard that!”
“Speaking of Hae, you’re going to be late!” Hyukjae calls out. He’s scooping the eggs onto three plates, but Youngwoon stops him from putting any on his.
“Just the milk, I’m good,” is Youngwoon’s reply.
“Kangin, you should eat something.”
The rushed look on Youngwoon’s face softens as his boyfriend looks worriedly up at him. It’s still his pet name after all this time, and it still strikes a chord in his heart. He puts his hand on the counter, palm up, and wait for Jungsu to take it. He squeezes the hand gently. “I’ll eat a big lunch,” he reassures him, “I always do. And there’s no class tonight, so I’ll be back early, and I’ll eat dinner with you guys. I’ll be okay.”
“Please.” In that one word, Youngwoon can pick up a ripple of cotton and down. But it’s only a ripple, nothing more. (He lost that a long time ago. Only when he sings does a glimmer of what was still shines.)
“I promise, Teukie.” Youngwoon leans in, kissing him tenderly. When he backs up, sees Jungsu’s warming smile and slightly pink cheeks, he smiles back. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“What, no kiss?” Hyukjae jokes. He only gets a glare from Youngwoon.
“Love you, Teukie!” he calls as he heads out the door.
“Love you more,” Jungsu replies back.
“Says you!” is Youngwoon’s response as the door closes behind him.
Jungsu smiles nostalgically. It’s an old routine with them now, their morning goodbye as they part for work.
“Bleh,” Hyukjae comments, “even after eighteen months, you’re still sickeningly sweet.”
Jungsu chuckles as he eats. “Just because you’re not as openly romantic as we are doesn’t mean---”
“I know, I know. Still have cavities, though.”
“What do you think?”
Jungsu and Hyukjae look up at Donghae. He’s dressed in a fitting black suit with a navy blue silk shirt. His dark hair is combed to the side, and when he turns the auburn highlights come into view.
“I think you need to get out of here as fast as you can before I jump you,” Hyukjae replies.
Donghae grins cheekily, gulping down his eggs in two bites. “You wish.”
“Why so dressed up this time?” Jungsu asks. “You look like you’re going out on a date.”
“I know, but it’s for work.” He sneaks a glance at Hyukjae - the date comment has him sitting straight up, eyes now entirely focused on his boyfriend. “Night conference with England. And the CFO’s a single woman, so the bosses think sex appeal will help seal the deal.”
“Just don’t bring her home,” Hyukjae warns.
Donghae pecks Hyukjae’s lips. “You’re the only one.”
“Ugh, now who’s being sweet,” Jungsu says. Hyukjae, oddly enough, has the decency to flush.
***
“What type you wanna watch this time?”
“Oh, I don’t care, you pick,” Jungsu answers, taking two soda cans out of the fridge. Hyukjae’s bartending doesn’t start till seven, and he doesn’t have a shift at the coffee shop today, so the two are enjoying a relaxing day at home. Which usually consists of video games and movie marathons.
“Got one!” Hyukjae slips the DVD into the player.
“What did you pick?” Jungsu asks from his spot on the couch.
Hyukjae looks at his friend. His hair is a tiny bit shorter than the first time they’d met, and it’s a mix of amber and blond. But he still looks the same, as if time has stopped for him. This wonder still makes Hyukjae shiver somewhere deep down inside. But he pushes this small observation aside and smiles like a seven-year-old.
“Random roulette,” he says. “I dumped the discs on the bed and picked one at random.”
Jungsu sighs, massages his forehead. “Donghae’s going to kill you.”
“Pfft,” is Hyukjae’s response.
The movie starts, and the pair falls silent. There’s a kitchen, a woman on the phone in it. As a raspy voice comes on over the phone, Jungsu shifts. He doesn’t know why, but something in him is tightening, and he doesn’t like it. As the scene continues and builds, so does the tightening, the pressure inside that makes him squirm, want to run, want to hide.
It’s when the black-robed figure appears and the woman screams that the pressure pops.
***
Too loud.
Bunnies and pink. Get away, get away.
Fear.
It’s wet on his shoulder, but hold tight, don’t let go, don’t let go.
Loud, wet, hurt.
Scream.
***
“EETEUK!!”
He doesn’t know he’s screaming until he stops. He blinks, the haze gone. He looks at Hyukjae who’s grabbed his wrists - his arms are raised, how did that happen…
Hyukjae looks worried, scared. So he asks, “What happened?”
“I… I tried to snap you out of it, but you didn’t, you kept yelling, so I used your name from…” He gestures to the ceiling, and Jungsu nods in understanding.
“Why? Why was I screaming?”
“Hell if I know. But…” and he points behind Jungsu. He turns, looks behind him at the kitchen table, still messy from their breakfast and lunch. Only the glasses are in pieces on the dishes (also cracked), on the counter, on the floor.
Jungsu can’t speak. He’s too stunned. But he’s still able to understand what Hyukjae says next - “You haven’t sounded like that since you were an angel.”
Something deep in his chest shakes, and Jungsu knows that Hyukjae’s right.
“Something’s wrong,” he whispers.
tbc...
pairing: kangin/eeteuk (side donghae/eunhyuk)
rating: R
warnings: dark themes
summary: how far would you go to find the truth?
notes: got bored, wrote this out after the first chapter. :)
disclaimer: i do not own the members of super junior. i'm considering bribing the devil.
“Hey! You took my toothbrush again!”
“No, I didn’t! Mine’s blue.”
“No, yours is red, mine is blue.”
Jungsu sighs as his friends keep arguing. It’s like this every couple of weeks. He turns off the rice cooker. “Anything else I can do?” he asks.
Hyukjae looks up from the frying pan he’s cooking on. “You can put water on for tea, if you can.”
Jungsu rolls his eyes. “When will you teach me how to cook, Hyuk? I’m sure I can do more than boil water.”
The dancer chuckles. “One day, when we’re all not so frazzled from work schedules.” He pats Jungsu’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. Youngwoon still loves you, even if you can’t cook.”
“That’s true,” and Youngwoon breezes in, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend’s head before sneaking by Hyukjae and to the fridge. He’s about to drink out of the milk carton when Hyukjae slaps his hand with the spatula. “Yah! That’s assault!”
“Oh, don’t use your cop talk on me,” Hyukjae says, going back to the eggs that are sizzling in the pan.
Youngwoon wrinkles his nose but says nothing else as he obediently gets a glass from the cabinet and pours milk into it. He’s still in training, yes, but he’s a police officer nonetheless. He takes night classes and does hourly shadowing with an experienced mentor, as per the requirements of the program the university placed him in.
“By the way, your toothbrush is red,” Jungsu adds.
Youngwoon nearly chokes on his milk. He manages to swallow it before sticking his tongue out and running a finger over it and his teeth. “Damn it! Now I’ve got Hae germs.”
“I heard that!”
“Speaking of Hae, you’re going to be late!” Hyukjae calls out. He’s scooping the eggs onto three plates, but Youngwoon stops him from putting any on his.
“Just the milk, I’m good,” is Youngwoon’s reply.
“Kangin, you should eat something.”
The rushed look on Youngwoon’s face softens as his boyfriend looks worriedly up at him. It’s still his pet name after all this time, and it still strikes a chord in his heart. He puts his hand on the counter, palm up, and wait for Jungsu to take it. He squeezes the hand gently. “I’ll eat a big lunch,” he reassures him, “I always do. And there’s no class tonight, so I’ll be back early, and I’ll eat dinner with you guys. I’ll be okay.”
“Please.” In that one word, Youngwoon can pick up a ripple of cotton and down. But it’s only a ripple, nothing more. (He lost that a long time ago. Only when he sings does a glimmer of what was still shines.)
“I promise, Teukie.” Youngwoon leans in, kissing him tenderly. When he backs up, sees Jungsu’s warming smile and slightly pink cheeks, he smiles back. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“What, no kiss?” Hyukjae jokes. He only gets a glare from Youngwoon.
“Love you, Teukie!” he calls as he heads out the door.
“Love you more,” Jungsu replies back.
“Says you!” is Youngwoon’s response as the door closes behind him.
Jungsu smiles nostalgically. It’s an old routine with them now, their morning goodbye as they part for work.
“Bleh,” Hyukjae comments, “even after eighteen months, you’re still sickeningly sweet.”
Jungsu chuckles as he eats. “Just because you’re not as openly romantic as we are doesn’t mean---”
“I know, I know. Still have cavities, though.”
“What do you think?”
Jungsu and Hyukjae look up at Donghae. He’s dressed in a fitting black suit with a navy blue silk shirt. His dark hair is combed to the side, and when he turns the auburn highlights come into view.
“I think you need to get out of here as fast as you can before I jump you,” Hyukjae replies.
Donghae grins cheekily, gulping down his eggs in two bites. “You wish.”
“Why so dressed up this time?” Jungsu asks. “You look like you’re going out on a date.”
“I know, but it’s for work.” He sneaks a glance at Hyukjae - the date comment has him sitting straight up, eyes now entirely focused on his boyfriend. “Night conference with England. And the CFO’s a single woman, so the bosses think sex appeal will help seal the deal.”
“Just don’t bring her home,” Hyukjae warns.
Donghae pecks Hyukjae’s lips. “You’re the only one.”
“Ugh, now who’s being sweet,” Jungsu says. Hyukjae, oddly enough, has the decency to flush.
***
“What type you wanna watch this time?”
“Oh, I don’t care, you pick,” Jungsu answers, taking two soda cans out of the fridge. Hyukjae’s bartending doesn’t start till seven, and he doesn’t have a shift at the coffee shop today, so the two are enjoying a relaxing day at home. Which usually consists of video games and movie marathons.
“Got one!” Hyukjae slips the DVD into the player.
“What did you pick?” Jungsu asks from his spot on the couch.
Hyukjae looks at his friend. His hair is a tiny bit shorter than the first time they’d met, and it’s a mix of amber and blond. But he still looks the same, as if time has stopped for him. This wonder still makes Hyukjae shiver somewhere deep down inside. But he pushes this small observation aside and smiles like a seven-year-old.
“Random roulette,” he says. “I dumped the discs on the bed and picked one at random.”
Jungsu sighs, massages his forehead. “Donghae’s going to kill you.”
“Pfft,” is Hyukjae’s response.
The movie starts, and the pair falls silent. There’s a kitchen, a woman on the phone in it. As a raspy voice comes on over the phone, Jungsu shifts. He doesn’t know why, but something in him is tightening, and he doesn’t like it. As the scene continues and builds, so does the tightening, the pressure inside that makes him squirm, want to run, want to hide.
It’s when the black-robed figure appears and the woman screams that the pressure pops.
***
Too loud.
Bunnies and pink. Get away, get away.
Fear.
It’s wet on his shoulder, but hold tight, don’t let go, don’t let go.
Loud, wet, hurt.
Scream.
***
“EETEUK!!”
He doesn’t know he’s screaming until he stops. He blinks, the haze gone. He looks at Hyukjae who’s grabbed his wrists - his arms are raised, how did that happen…
Hyukjae looks worried, scared. So he asks, “What happened?”
“I… I tried to snap you out of it, but you didn’t, you kept yelling, so I used your name from…” He gestures to the ceiling, and Jungsu nods in understanding.
“Why? Why was I screaming?”
“Hell if I know. But…” and he points behind Jungsu. He turns, looks behind him at the kitchen table, still messy from their breakfast and lunch. Only the glasses are in pieces on the dishes (also cracked), on the counter, on the floor.
Jungsu can’t speak. He’s too stunned. But he’s still able to understand what Hyukjae says next - “You haven’t sounded like that since you were an angel.”
Something deep in his chest shakes, and Jungsu knows that Hyukjae’s right.
“Something’s wrong,” he whispers.
tbc...