the most depressing story ever told
I didn't fail university but this is my first time having to experience making ends meet. I didn't get the marks I wanted and so I can't get the scholarships I needed to pay for next year. So now I don't know how I'm going to make it. I somehow convinced myself that an $8/hr job and family and pookie would be better than $18/hr and no family or pookie. and though I love being with dave its almost becoming more emotionally stressful knowing that my education is in limbo.
The worst part is that my parents are completely unsympathetic. They won't lend me money and I can't get a loan because of their salary. At least if I was poor then I could get a loan. I hate having to depend on them because they are so unwilling to part with their money. Whether it is the condo that they practically promised my sister and I or my education it is easier to get money from the government (ie: who has the best muffin recipie?) And when I told my mom that I didn't do well enough I didn't get any sign of affection. I only get a detached sense of responsibility and I really have all my life. It seems that everytime I need them it is such a burden. I see my friends whose parents would do anything for them and I envy them so much because their parents truly will do anything to see them succeed.
It is also depressing to know that as soon as I can I will never depend on them again. That this is my last summer staying with them, and using their things. Everytime I use something I am reminded of what a burden it is and how expensive it is.
And the worst part is that I see them in me and I hate it. I don't want to be as money centered as they are but I see that I am and I don't want to be and I just want to break free but I don't know where to start because I've been programmed to be a scrooge too and I can't.
I just wanted a 3.5 that's all I needed to get away but I don't have it because I fell short with no one who is able to catch me.
The worst part is that my parents are completely unsympathetic. They won't lend me money and I can't get a loan because of their salary. At least if I was poor then I could get a loan. I hate having to depend on them because they are so unwilling to part with their money. Whether it is the condo that they practically promised my sister and I or my education it is easier to get money from the government (ie: who has the best muffin recipie?) And when I told my mom that I didn't do well enough I didn't get any sign of affection. I only get a detached sense of responsibility and I really have all my life. It seems that everytime I need them it is such a burden. I see my friends whose parents would do anything for them and I envy them so much because their parents truly will do anything to see them succeed.
It is also depressing to know that as soon as I can I will never depend on them again. That this is my last summer staying with them, and using their things. Everytime I use something I am reminded of what a burden it is and how expensive it is.
And the worst part is that I see them in me and I hate it. I don't want to be as money centered as they are but I see that I am and I don't want to be and I just want to break free but I don't know where to start because I've been programmed to be a scrooge too and I can't.
I just wanted a 3.5 that's all I needed to get away but I don't have it because I fell short with no one who is able to catch me.