acquired tastes
I'm sleepy but also contemplative so I think I'd indulge in the latter for a bit.
Some days I feel this tingle in the hollow of my bones and it's a dull ache I've learnt to withstand, and am trying, everyday, to appreciate. Time is passing by so fast (when I surface from the mad rush) - but whilst in the thick of things I often wish it wouldn't drag on. I think the best thing I've learnt (read: am learning) so far this year is that one needs to choose to accept certain things that happen. These are usually things that are not amenable to our dispositions - but the most generous you can be with yourself is by choosing to swallow it.
It is now Lent again, and Lent always seems like it will be so long on Ash Wednesday. Last year, around this time, I was busy preparing for Baptism - and it was such a peaceful, healing sort of business. I hope this year will be the same. I feel that this year's Lent will be harder because all of a sudden I realise things about myself I used to know, but know even more acutely now. So much introspection to do, so much humble pie to eat, so much trusting to do.
There are moments when I grow so tired of clutching onto things, of being in control, that I let myself go for just that little while - and you know, it is comforting to know that way up north from our lives on this Earth, the big picture is forming by the seconds. The thought that all these detours and winding routes will one day make sense is such a wonderful thought.
I hope so much that one day we can all believe in beautiful things like we're free-falling into a deeeeep bed of downy feathers, not needing to be afraid of anything at all (and if you think about it, 'believing' already implies the making of a conscious choice). Maybe an obscured fact of life is that things aren't so much about dispersed, nebulous concepts of 'hope' and 'perhaps' - just discern, decide and forge on.
Some days I feel this tingle in the hollow of my bones and it's a dull ache I've learnt to withstand, and am trying, everyday, to appreciate. Time is passing by so fast (when I surface from the mad rush) - but whilst in the thick of things I often wish it wouldn't drag on. I think the best thing I've learnt (read: am learning) so far this year is that one needs to choose to accept certain things that happen. These are usually things that are not amenable to our dispositions - but the most generous you can be with yourself is by choosing to swallow it.
It is now Lent again, and Lent always seems like it will be so long on Ash Wednesday. Last year, around this time, I was busy preparing for Baptism - and it was such a peaceful, healing sort of business. I hope this year will be the same. I feel that this year's Lent will be harder because all of a sudden I realise things about myself I used to know, but know even more acutely now. So much introspection to do, so much humble pie to eat, so much trusting to do.
There are moments when I grow so tired of clutching onto things, of being in control, that I let myself go for just that little while - and you know, it is comforting to know that way up north from our lives on this Earth, the big picture is forming by the seconds. The thought that all these detours and winding routes will one day make sense is such a wonderful thought.
I hope so much that one day we can all believe in beautiful things like we're free-falling into a deeeeep bed of downy feathers, not needing to be afraid of anything at all (and if you think about it, 'believing' already implies the making of a conscious choice). Maybe an obscured fact of life is that things aren't so much about dispersed, nebulous concepts of 'hope' and 'perhaps' - just discern, decide and forge on.