ghost
sex.....she wuz there...her physical sense. but it wuz with a ghost. the passion that wuz once there, is now gone. i wuz scared. i looked for an excuse to stop. it once wuz unprotected love, now its just reckless sex. wuz reckless sex. itll never happen again. she looked happy. not cuz of me, but with life. the puzzle is staRting to fit. her grand horizon is broadening like i knew it would. and its proceeding without me, like i knew it would. we used to talk of how after we werent 2gether, id visit her restaurant with out her knowing. shed look at me like she didnt know who i wuz. shed pretend that i was a stranger, which i now am. we are both ghosts to each other. my selfish ways wish to beg for her back. my realist side knows that now is the time to let go. the dreamer in me sees what we could still be. but lifes logic would prove otherwise. i am no longer worthy to be a part of her. this is what its like when joy is so grand that it saddens u. i love her. always will.
we went to mcdonalds afterwards, like we had so many times b4. it wuz free this time. free things make people happy. we discussed the small talk. i didnt dare bring anything serious up. when i dropped her off i hugged her. i wanted to embrace her entire being. to devour her soul and take her with me 4ever. im really proud of what she has become. with one last kiss, i knew it wuz time to leave. the kiss.....thats what will haunt me 4ever. what once made the hair on my arms stand up and my heart overflow with warm fluid, now makes my heart flacid and mind go dark.
i pictured her going inside and crying into a snack pack or phish food. i drove slow all the home. tears were there but werent falling. only the sky knew the magnitude of the sorrow in me, as the rain pelted my car. i didnt get to sleep til 4. ben gibbard sent me into flashbacks all night. ISAP was hell the next day. dozing off and writing carelessly. then detention. then six flags. then home.
jennas party is tonight. i just might end up being a dd.
we went to mcdonalds afterwards, like we had so many times b4. it wuz free this time. free things make people happy. we discussed the small talk. i didnt dare bring anything serious up. when i dropped her off i hugged her. i wanted to embrace her entire being. to devour her soul and take her with me 4ever. im really proud of what she has become. with one last kiss, i knew it wuz time to leave. the kiss.....thats what will haunt me 4ever. what once made the hair on my arms stand up and my heart overflow with warm fluid, now makes my heart flacid and mind go dark.
i pictured her going inside and crying into a snack pack or phish food. i drove slow all the home. tears were there but werent falling. only the sky knew the magnitude of the sorrow in me, as the rain pelted my car. i didnt get to sleep til 4. ben gibbard sent me into flashbacks all night. ISAP was hell the next day. dozing off and writing carelessly. then detention. then six flags. then home.
jennas party is tonight. i just might end up being a dd.