(no subject)
So I finally went to see X-men 3 last night. I didn't hate, but didn't really like it. I can't really blame Ratner either - it's not that he fucked up, more that he didn't do amazingly well. It had too many characters squeezed in and he just hasn't got the class Bryan Singer has. Competent, is what he is, and we all know what a boring word that is.
I spent X-Men 2 with my jaw-hanging, I spent this wondering when Jean was going to go critical (and I really enjoyed it when she did!). I would have rather watched 2 hours of Jean Grey doing that thing she does, or a two-hour slashy road trip with Cyclops and Wolverine going cross-country on the motorbike.
I also found the film ridiculously sexist.
Anyway, here's a little run down on the X-men and X-weakwomen. (apologies for any spelling mistakes)
"Hi, I'm Jean Grey/Phoenix. I have got total motherfuckin' mutant atom-ripping powers. I'll happily kill my fiancee and mentor, but then just stand there waiting for a man to tell me what to do. This is because I am a woman and therefore weak."
"Hello! I'm Charles Xavier. I am supposed to be super-powerful but I always get completely fucked up by other mutants. I was a total liability in the first X-men films so it's probably for the best that I am dead."
"I'm Magneto, as bad-ass as ever. Watch me crumple cars like paper, yes, I'm still da man."
"I'm Mystique. I like to kick the shit out of prison guards and impersonate the flaky -wafer President who somehow got elected, but as soon as I'm pissed off, I cry and turn into a snitch. That's because I'm a woman and therefore weak."
"Hi, I'm Rogue. Ignore everything in the comic books about me being awesome because I will give it all up for a little cuddle. That's because....."
"I'm Iceman and would rather go skating that comfort my grieving girlfriend. Oh yes, I am such a catch. Well worth giving up awesome powers for."
"Hi, I'm Pyro, which way Columbine?"
"I am Colossus and...hey! wait a minute, I thought my appearance in the last X-men film was supposed to be a cameo, building me up for a bigger part in the next one? Damn, I got shafted!"
"I'm Cyclops, and Colossus, you think you got shafted!?"
"I'm Storm and I'm here to prove not all women are weak. I will fight some chick I've suddenly decided is my nemesis and kill her the same way I killed Toad. I'm actually thinking of changing my name to 'Lightning.'"
"Hi, I'm Wolverine. I think I've been spending too much time around weak women 'cause I'm all sensitive and stuff. I like to be thrown about by big Russian Cameo men."
Hi, I'm Beast. Everyone seems to know me already even though I've only just turned up."
"Hello, I'm Kitty and I like ice-skating and running through walls. I've just turned up too, even though Jubilee was in the last film and I wasn't."
"I'm Angel. I don't have anything to do except look pretty and save my dad. Man, I sure do look pretty."
"I'm Leech and am very crucial the storyline. Something to do with my blood....vagueness...bald...."
"I'M JUGGERNAUT, BITCH! and I need to pee."
"I'm Nightcrawler and everyone seems to have forgotten about me."
"I'm Blinky. I am a human TV remote."
"Greetings! We're the Brotherhood of Naughtiness. You can tell we're evil 'cause we got tatoos and are all ethnic minorities."
"Hello! We're the audience and we were just wondering where the fuck is Gambit?"