i honestly doubt you care.

[timbaugh]

i think the world is greatly separated into two spheres. the haves, and the have-nots. one side walks around questioning what they can do to gain (whether it be gain momentum, strength, peace, or place), while the other side doesnt bother to question shit because they already have what is needed and beyond. where does the line get drawn between what you need and want? where does the line get drawn between state and church? where does the line get drawn between self defense and murder? honestly. there are no lines. there are no boundaries. there are just WORDS. TRYING to describe where peoples morals or feelings should lie. some infinite abiss where all our problems should be getting solved. this is making no sense to me. How do people live the way they live in other countries? How do I live the way I live here and never think about it? How do i never feel things about it unless they're shoved in my face? Unless something blows up? Still I have no fucking grasp of it. It doesnt matter if I turn on the tv and see the world trade center, it doesnt even matter if it pulls on my heart or if maybe I cry, because do I really do shit about it? Who does? Sometimes I wonder who those people are...the politicians, the doctors, the average human being that goes to other countries because they feel so much that they're actually driven to action. Who goes to Africa to make a difference? Sometimes I think about it, I think about giving up myself or a piece of myself or even some of my time..then i realize i have things i have to do..things i want to do..my time is occupied, my intentions are good but thats about it. I wish I could do something. I probably could, but what could I do? What does it mean to care about the world but not know anything you could do to change it? Who knows how to change it. Then there are the people who try to change, or change others, and find it impossible. We are all hardasses, we are all stuck in our ways. There is religion, belief, all these things that force people to try to annihlate change. Because change could cause destruction. And Change could cause so much more. I dont know where this is coming from. All of a sudden I feel bombarded with all these thoughts. Theyve been thrown at me from this movie and now I have nothing to but sit in my house and think about them. I could maybe learn more, or maybe I could consider the possibilities of how i might be able to affect the world in a posotive way, or maybe I could just sit here and write on myspace because i feel helpless and alone. Why do some people have... Why do some people not. I cant comprehend genocide. Bombs. Wars. How do people live with that? Because its not an option, because its handed to them the minute they're born? Here you go, welcome to life, this is all youll ever know. If you expect to survive or protect people you care about you better learn how to handle a gun and you better find some crazed religion to bring you peace, so that when you die or you witness others dying you might find some revelation in that. Oh my god I dont think this makes any sense. I can not form my thoughts properly because I cant articulately put my finger to what Im feeling or thinking. I dont think there are any words, or at least ones I know, that could express it. Do you ever feel like that? Something so great that there is no language to express it, so u sit around just feeling it instead? I think at some point in your existence you'll be confrontd with a simple fact and decision. You could live feeling things for other people, or you could live doing things for other people. Our generation is so lost. Our parents generation actually physically stopped the vietnam war in the 70's. i wonder what is different now.
And another thing..famous people..stars and athletes...they make so much money, u cant even comprehend how much. and they give some of it away. but some of it they leave around like net worth to prove how much theyre worth or whatever the fuck theyre doing, or they buy 15000 dollar purses, and i dont know how u could live like tht all the time on a day to day basis knowing how other people live.