a little here and a little there...
So after the week of Crystal, she went back home, took her two days to move out and live with her boyfriend. As promised I am airing the dirty laundry. Here boyfriend Bobby in a nutshell...
Bobby, 22, no job, no car, lives at home and with friends, has one felony charge for breaking and entering, is currently under four counts of Sexual MisConduct for a minor under 13.
Crystal has completely changed. She is not the same little girl that I grew up with, she is not the person that I've respected all my life. She has turned into a defiant, rude, inconsiderate, thoughtless, heartless bitch that has used me and turned her head and heart to reason.
I in turn, turned my eyes and my ears to her. My heart is still in the same place but its hard when you are shunned away like that. I was just hoping that my week of tutalage meant something, if anything to show her she needs more self respect and happiness before she starts to involve anyother person intimately into her life. Shes just not the same and I am done. I have lost the faith, when she returns to herself, she knows where I am, otherwise I wish you the best and good luck, its rough out there girl.
Moving on to others, I have come out with the truth, to many people and in many situations and I feel that life is lifting off my shoulders and I can enjoy my life.
xBen: I am still not over him, I still love him, and still often think of us together. Its getting better but honestly, I still have high hopes for a future down the line.
rBen: He proposed to me, asked me to Evansville, and said he loved me. Things are struggling between us and I don't know what to do. I love him as a friend but beyond that, its hard to tell. He is a great person and I hate to hurt him like I am, but its not right to do anything else. I hope he understands that.
Chris: I thought we were breaking up on his bday, it was saddening me. However, it was the complete opposite and I had a great time as usual. I opened a little more and I could definitely tell he is opening up as well. It makes me feel great that we are communicating and connecting and really getting to know each other. It makes me happy, I think we can go far. :) I have HOPE and thats very important right now.
I've been losing faith, not only in myself but also in the people around me. I need to find my god.
So family reunion last weekend ROCKED!!! I got there friday night with Crystal and Ben, we got hammered, introduced Ben to everyone, hung out with Tiffany and Holly, put up tents, got more hammered, had a great time. Saturday morning I had to put everything together, Aunt Jackie on Vicodine didn't help, older ones trying to take charge, I got pissed and blew up, calmed down and dad ran his truck into the pravilion and flipped out, Ben left, dinner was a success. Family dispursed, dad left, alcohol followed, everyone chilled, got a lot out in the open, gained respect, learned about family, got hammered, played with Tiff and Holly, rode awesome bikes, smoked, hammered, campfires, play time, Reggie and DJ, Tiff and Holly, good times, campfire, Labbatts, and sleep.
Late start to Sunday, pack up tents, clothes, supplies, chat with grandma and grandpa, learn about life, leave, drive the way home, unload, go to sleep.
Monday work, work, work, Canada. Eleven Chris, honorary Canadian, flag, roses, card, kiss, bars, martini, cokes, cuddles and sleep. Late start, food at Bubas (thai), nap time, parents, goodbyes, kiss, looks, and leaving after. Mara and Julie, dinner Big boys, drinks with Mara, Crystal drama, Crystal gone, Mara drinks, talk about marriages, Island trip. Construction home, called Dad, 95 minute convo, kill Bobby, call Chris, talk to rBen, laundry, sleep.
This morning wake, sleep, wake, sleep, wake, rBen rips off covers, coffee, shower, I leave, cops, not late, work, and now this moment.
I want to go home, in an hour, right now. Nap, laundry, unpack and pack, clean house, pray, watch KILL BILL, smoke clean, chill the fuck out. My muse, come to me.
Rules of Attraction dialoge, now my thought pattern. Seperate everything with commas, and no ones knows. They're watching, I pretend, they leave, I commit. Ugh commitment.
I love this life.
Tim
Bobby, 22, no job, no car, lives at home and with friends, has one felony charge for breaking and entering, is currently under four counts of Sexual MisConduct for a minor under 13.
Crystal has completely changed. She is not the same little girl that I grew up with, she is not the person that I've respected all my life. She has turned into a defiant, rude, inconsiderate, thoughtless, heartless bitch that has used me and turned her head and heart to reason.
I in turn, turned my eyes and my ears to her. My heart is still in the same place but its hard when you are shunned away like that. I was just hoping that my week of tutalage meant something, if anything to show her she needs more self respect and happiness before she starts to involve anyother person intimately into her life. Shes just not the same and I am done. I have lost the faith, when she returns to herself, she knows where I am, otherwise I wish you the best and good luck, its rough out there girl.
Moving on to others, I have come out with the truth, to many people and in many situations and I feel that life is lifting off my shoulders and I can enjoy my life.
xBen: I am still not over him, I still love him, and still often think of us together. Its getting better but honestly, I still have high hopes for a future down the line.
rBen: He proposed to me, asked me to Evansville, and said he loved me. Things are struggling between us and I don't know what to do. I love him as a friend but beyond that, its hard to tell. He is a great person and I hate to hurt him like I am, but its not right to do anything else. I hope he understands that.
Chris: I thought we were breaking up on his bday, it was saddening me. However, it was the complete opposite and I had a great time as usual. I opened a little more and I could definitely tell he is opening up as well. It makes me feel great that we are communicating and connecting and really getting to know each other. It makes me happy, I think we can go far. :) I have HOPE and thats very important right now.
I've been losing faith, not only in myself but also in the people around me. I need to find my god.
So family reunion last weekend ROCKED!!! I got there friday night with Crystal and Ben, we got hammered, introduced Ben to everyone, hung out with Tiffany and Holly, put up tents, got more hammered, had a great time. Saturday morning I had to put everything together, Aunt Jackie on Vicodine didn't help, older ones trying to take charge, I got pissed and blew up, calmed down and dad ran his truck into the pravilion and flipped out, Ben left, dinner was a success. Family dispursed, dad left, alcohol followed, everyone chilled, got a lot out in the open, gained respect, learned about family, got hammered, played with Tiff and Holly, rode awesome bikes, smoked, hammered, campfires, play time, Reggie and DJ, Tiff and Holly, good times, campfire, Labbatts, and sleep.
Late start to Sunday, pack up tents, clothes, supplies, chat with grandma and grandpa, learn about life, leave, drive the way home, unload, go to sleep.
Monday work, work, work, Canada. Eleven Chris, honorary Canadian, flag, roses, card, kiss, bars, martini, cokes, cuddles and sleep. Late start, food at Bubas (thai), nap time, parents, goodbyes, kiss, looks, and leaving after. Mara and Julie, dinner Big boys, drinks with Mara, Crystal drama, Crystal gone, Mara drinks, talk about marriages, Island trip. Construction home, called Dad, 95 minute convo, kill Bobby, call Chris, talk to rBen, laundry, sleep.
This morning wake, sleep, wake, sleep, wake, rBen rips off covers, coffee, shower, I leave, cops, not late, work, and now this moment.
I want to go home, in an hour, right now. Nap, laundry, unpack and pack, clean house, pray, watch KILL BILL, smoke clean, chill the fuck out. My muse, come to me.
Rules of Attraction dialoge, now my thought pattern. Seperate everything with commas, and no ones knows. They're watching, I pretend, they leave, I commit. Ugh commitment.
I love this life.
Tim