you are one of the things i will never understand...
so, its been a long time, livejournal. I finished semester number one at Hamline. Things went really well. I managed to get a 3.10 GPA, so far, so good. At least school has become my release. I have had a real tough time with other things in my life lately. Mostly my medical issues. I have a terrible herniated disc in my neck. C7. It shoots unbearable pain down my right arm. Thankfully I finally have medical insurance. I have been dealing with this without insurance for two months. It is probably the worst pain I have ever experienced. I have been taking pain pills that sort of work, and adding alcohol with them. Never a good idea.
Other problems include my personal life. I have this terrible problem in ruining certain relationships when I have a good thing going on. I over think shit, make myself a horrible anxious mess, and basically scare anyone away from me. It never helps that when this is happening, I get even more anxious and depressed. I have been waiting for weeks to get back into school, J-term, just so I can get my mind off of everything. I really believe I am a different person than I used to be, but I can never get past the fact that girls just don't like the nice guys. Or do I turn too nice? Too much too soon? I will never know. But I do know that I just need to keep being myself. This is all I have. If you don't like it, well I guess you can just quit talking to me. Oh well. I have my friends that care about me. I guess that is all I really need.
Other problems include my personal life. I have this terrible problem in ruining certain relationships when I have a good thing going on. I over think shit, make myself a horrible anxious mess, and basically scare anyone away from me. It never helps that when this is happening, I get even more anxious and depressed. I have been waiting for weeks to get back into school, J-term, just so I can get my mind off of everything. I really believe I am a different person than I used to be, but I can never get past the fact that girls just don't like the nice guys. Or do I turn too nice? Too much too soon? I will never know. But I do know that I just need to keep being myself. This is all I have. If you don't like it, well I guess you can just quit talking to me. Oh well. I have my friends that care about me. I guess that is all I really need.