well, here we go
damn, haven't posted since my birthday. nice.
well. here is the plan with me right now. i really don't know whats going on with basically ANYTHING in my life right now. that sucks. i was really going good up until after my birthday. 21 changes you. i go out with friends a lot now. thats cool. kate, barbara, pj, jesika, kelly (not 21), trav, jenny, ect... but i go to drink. wtf? i am living the life of any 21 year old. and its fun, but.... i feel like i am semi-alone with everything. way too much change for me in too little of a time. that is life i guess. i didn't think that in this short of span barbara and pj would basically be my best friends. that i would grow close to kate and have to face with the fact that she's moving in atleast a month. that in a years time chad and i would have grown way apart. no band, no apt together, and somewhat of a bitter end that is only my fault. we are on good terms but it just isn't like it used to be, and i'm not sure when (or if) things are going to ever go back to normal. i made some really poor decisions in the past year, and wishing so bad that i could take all of them back. i'd still be in burnsville, still be in the broken promise, and possibly be getting back from an AMAZING summer tour where i could have enjoyed a lot of this great nation and do what i love... play music for a living. that isn't whats going on. i basically have to start over with the music thing... my friend list is dissappearing, and one of the most important people in my life at the moment is going away for three years to some damned school with a boyfriend that treats her like shit. another is going away to colorado in a year, and things got weird with us. which makes me feel even less secure about any of my actions in life.
i bet you'll all be surprised to see my post on your friends list again... it's been quite some time.
well. here is the plan with me right now. i really don't know whats going on with basically ANYTHING in my life right now. that sucks. i was really going good up until after my birthday. 21 changes you. i go out with friends a lot now. thats cool. kate, barbara, pj, jesika, kelly (not 21), trav, jenny, ect... but i go to drink. wtf? i am living the life of any 21 year old. and its fun, but.... i feel like i am semi-alone with everything. way too much change for me in too little of a time. that is life i guess. i didn't think that in this short of span barbara and pj would basically be my best friends. that i would grow close to kate and have to face with the fact that she's moving in atleast a month. that in a years time chad and i would have grown way apart. no band, no apt together, and somewhat of a bitter end that is only my fault. we are on good terms but it just isn't like it used to be, and i'm not sure when (or if) things are going to ever go back to normal. i made some really poor decisions in the past year, and wishing so bad that i could take all of them back. i'd still be in burnsville, still be in the broken promise, and possibly be getting back from an AMAZING summer tour where i could have enjoyed a lot of this great nation and do what i love... play music for a living. that isn't whats going on. i basically have to start over with the music thing... my friend list is dissappearing, and one of the most important people in my life at the moment is going away for three years to some damned school with a boyfriend that treats her like shit. another is going away to colorado in a year, and things got weird with us. which makes me feel even less secure about any of my actions in life.
i bet you'll all be surprised to see my post on your friends list again... it's been quite some time.