(no subject)
Today I went to church and then Wallace to a group to eat at Lone Star and I had 4 chocolate brownies with caramel syrup on top and a slice of cherry pizza. Why would I mention that read the rest of this entry and you'll find out. Well this is my entry for the rest of today since I didn't do much. The first paragraph is an email my grandma sent to me last summer and I'm just now responding to it. The next paragraph is the responce that I gave today. Please read because it's the best description you'll ever get about how I'm feeling. I can never express my feelings when I'm happy or in a good mood, only when I'm depressed can I give this much description. So I ask if you're my friend please read.
(EMAIL)
Hi,
Just thought I would drop you a note to let you know
I am thinking about you. It is not long before
chool starts. Are you ready for it? I always
looked forward to seeing g my friends again. My
senior year was the best year of high school. I
really enjoyed it and it seemed to go by fast.
I wonder what you think about each day. What is the
most important thing in your life? Who are the most
important people in your life and what kind of
influence they have had on you. Is there someone
you look up to and admire. Is there someone who
makes you want to be a better person. There have
been people who made a difference in my life as a
young adult that I will always remember and respect.
Just wishing you a life of happiness. One that
touches the lives of others in a positive way. One
that is lived with God a part of every day. Read
his word every day.
I love you.
Mary
(MY RESPONSE)
You sent me this email quite awhile back and I'm not too sure if I ever answered those questions. Since this email is now referring to the past I can't say whether or not I'm looking forward to my senior year but I can say now that it's over I'm kind of glad because I was pretty much on my own then, I didn't have any friends. In the mornings and at lunch I just sat by myself not talking to anyone not even in class when we had a free day but I don't think I minded too much because I was always looking forward to hanging out with my friends at the Bible Chair. I look back now and think that interfered in my school work. Not having any friends in school was a good thing because I wasn't tempted to do things I shouldn't but at the same time it's almost like a necessity because without friends you get a little depressed without really knowing it and you start slacking on your work. Within the last month I've been thinking how great it would be if I could go back to my freshman year and start over with new friends but I know I can't and I just have to make the best of life at this moment. At the time of this email the most important thing in my life was not being a Christian but I've grown quite a bit just being around my friends and the people at church. That pretty much says who the most important people in my life are but there's one more and I'm not sure he knows it and I don't think anyone knows it but Michael has also had a big influence in my life. I know he hasn't done the right things in his life but I've learned from his mistakes but at the same time I feel bad because I've never just sat down and talked to him like brothers should every now and then. It makes me mad when anyone talks bad about him behind his back especially when he's where he is now and I told my mom this last summer but I'm not sure what her thoughts were. Just like I said the people at church and Michael are the ones who have the biggest impact on my life and they're also the ones I admire and lookup to the most. Same answer for the last question. Everyone at church encourages me to be a better person and seeing the things that Michael has done and where he's been also makes me want to be a better person. You may be wondering why I all of sudden just spilled this all out. Trying to sleep last night I started getting thoughts of when Michael would get out of prison and about things I should do now to get my life back on the right path now and when he gets out. I've had a lot of sugar today and sugar kind of like amplifies my thoughts to where I just get depressed and I can't sleep, I can't stop the thoughts from flowing. I try to listen to music to get my mind off everything but the thoughts just block out the music and I forget I'm even listening to anything. Every now and then I get so lost in thought that I actually go off into a blank stare and everything just goes black, this even happens during the day when the lights are on but I don't realize that it's happening until it's over. Right now I'm confused about everything and I've asked for prayers in class at church and when I mentioned it I got a few snickers from people but that's because I did sound a little funny the way I said it. The only time I can really express how I'm feeling is when I'm depressed, that's when I'm able to tell you in detail about everyone of my feelings and that's why I'm able to says as much as I have now. I'm going to try and go to sleep now because I told Joel I would be up at the Bible Chair tomorrow morning to talk and hang out for awhile. I'm also going to practice on my bas guitar with a friend while I'm there. I've made a lot of progress for a beginner; I can already play it without having to look at all.
Goodnight
(EMAIL)
Hi,
Just thought I would drop you a note to let you know
I am thinking about you. It is not long before
chool starts. Are you ready for it? I always
looked forward to seeing g my friends again. My
senior year was the best year of high school. I
really enjoyed it and it seemed to go by fast.
I wonder what you think about each day. What is the
most important thing in your life? Who are the most
important people in your life and what kind of
influence they have had on you. Is there someone
you look up to and admire. Is there someone who
makes you want to be a better person. There have
been people who made a difference in my life as a
young adult that I will always remember and respect.
Just wishing you a life of happiness. One that
touches the lives of others in a positive way. One
that is lived with God a part of every day. Read
his word every day.
I love you.
Mary
(MY RESPONSE)
You sent me this email quite awhile back and I'm not too sure if I ever answered those questions. Since this email is now referring to the past I can't say whether or not I'm looking forward to my senior year but I can say now that it's over I'm kind of glad because I was pretty much on my own then, I didn't have any friends. In the mornings and at lunch I just sat by myself not talking to anyone not even in class when we had a free day but I don't think I minded too much because I was always looking forward to hanging out with my friends at the Bible Chair. I look back now and think that interfered in my school work. Not having any friends in school was a good thing because I wasn't tempted to do things I shouldn't but at the same time it's almost like a necessity because without friends you get a little depressed without really knowing it and you start slacking on your work. Within the last month I've been thinking how great it would be if I could go back to my freshman year and start over with new friends but I know I can't and I just have to make the best of life at this moment. At the time of this email the most important thing in my life was not being a Christian but I've grown quite a bit just being around my friends and the people at church. That pretty much says who the most important people in my life are but there's one more and I'm not sure he knows it and I don't think anyone knows it but Michael has also had a big influence in my life. I know he hasn't done the right things in his life but I've learned from his mistakes but at the same time I feel bad because I've never just sat down and talked to him like brothers should every now and then. It makes me mad when anyone talks bad about him behind his back especially when he's where he is now and I told my mom this last summer but I'm not sure what her thoughts were. Just like I said the people at church and Michael are the ones who have the biggest impact on my life and they're also the ones I admire and lookup to the most. Same answer for the last question. Everyone at church encourages me to be a better person and seeing the things that Michael has done and where he's been also makes me want to be a better person. You may be wondering why I all of sudden just spilled this all out. Trying to sleep last night I started getting thoughts of when Michael would get out of prison and about things I should do now to get my life back on the right path now and when he gets out. I've had a lot of sugar today and sugar kind of like amplifies my thoughts to where I just get depressed and I can't sleep, I can't stop the thoughts from flowing. I try to listen to music to get my mind off everything but the thoughts just block out the music and I forget I'm even listening to anything. Every now and then I get so lost in thought that I actually go off into a blank stare and everything just goes black, this even happens during the day when the lights are on but I don't realize that it's happening until it's over. Right now I'm confused about everything and I've asked for prayers in class at church and when I mentioned it I got a few snickers from people but that's because I did sound a little funny the way I said it. The only time I can really express how I'm feeling is when I'm depressed, that's when I'm able to tell you in detail about everyone of my feelings and that's why I'm able to says as much as I have now. I'm going to try and go to sleep now because I told Joel I would be up at the Bible Chair tomorrow morning to talk and hang out for awhile. I'm also going to practice on my bas guitar with a friend while I'm there. I've made a lot of progress for a beginner; I can already play it without having to look at all.
Goodnight