(no subject)

[tiltingduke]

What a shitty day thusfar. I woke up and took Hayley to basketball, which was fine, came back and fucked around on the computer, which made me feel even fatter and lazier, and then went back and picked her up. Had almost fallen asleep on the couch watching the UVA game when Roger called and asked me to come pick up my check. Yay...got it...slowly earning back the money I spent at Christmas. Came back and was happily watching the game and working on Bio when Ishy called and asked me to ride Joe tomorrow in a flat class. I DON'T WANT TO. I haven't ridden in like, two months, and then it was just jumping around on Flag...I don't have any of the right clothes, my stuff is all filthy and packed away, my saddle is stiff, my helmet is literally missing, I don't have gloves or a hairnet or anything, I look like shit on a horse, Joe hates me, and I had my entire weekend planned already. Now I have to miss my Duke game, which I have been looking forward to for WEEKS, and Sar will probably be there with Jordan while I look like a complete moron in front of snobby kids at the Hunt Horse Complex. I do not want to ride that horse tomorrow. I don't want to show, I don't want to RIDE right now. I want to get through with school right now. Why can't people understand that? I'm going to be stuck in Raleigh all damn day, away from my boys and my homework and my couch. Go ahead and call me a fat lazy bitch, I know it's true and I'm passed caring. I don't appreciate people calling me up out of the blue and basically forcing me to say yes after I've said plainly "I don't want to" several times. It wasn't Ishy's fault, I am not blaming her, but I heard Mary in the background cajoling me for saying no. I'm so sorry that I don't want to fuck up in front of the city of Raleigh. I did that in July on Little Man, and had a terrible time, and don't want to do it again. I don't like to show anyway, much less when I'm being thrown on a horse that I've ridden TWICE in my entire life..and both times he ran away with me. I hate my life at this very moment. And so much for watching the Kentucky game in peace tonight, and State's bowl game tomorrow, and my Devils...so much for everything I had planned.

I bought the Duke poster to make myself feel better. Made me feel worse because it cost $17...bye bye, tip money.

URG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!