(in)dependence
So.. I have found myself in a couple situations recently that have frustrated me, and while they have dealt with other people on most accounts my diffculties did not come from their actions as much as they did from my reaction to such actions, which in all reality, are quite insignificant.
Currently I am unemployed. This leaves me with plenty of time to be doing things that I enjoy: reading, knitting, playing outside, listening to music, and all that jazz. I keep busy... however, I am left with this empty feeling at the end of the day. Something about not having much direction/purpose or means of making money perhaps. Aside from the obvious frustration with not having a job, I have found myself with an additional frustration, my new discovered dependence on other people. While I would love to be content with doing the things I enjoy and that being enough, I crave interaction with people (ie. friends).
Unfortunately, my friends for the most part are occupied with other things in their life... jobs, getting their wisdom teeth removed, classes, etc. and so I wait for that time in the evening when they are actually available to do things. This leaves me clinging onto them and their spare time of which they don't have very much. So I begin to feel needy and I highly dislike that feeling. Not only this, but I have noticed myself beginning to be quite immature in my reactions when I found out that friends are doing stuff in the evening without any sort of invite in my direction. I know that this is silly, but it is how it is and hence my self annoyance. What happened to independence?
General consensus: I let other people influence my life way too much... but how do I go about changing that or making it work with me rather than against me?