Tilly's Top Six Songs About Comic Book Characters
I suddenly got curious about the existence of comic-centric songs and the internet proved me right. The only problem with songs in various "Top X songs written about comics" lists was that A) Like Black Sabbath's 'Iron Man', they weren't actually written with comic book characters in mind, or B) Like Wings' 'Magneto and Titanium Man', they weren't particularly good.
So hey, I made my own. With some half-assed graphics thrown in because I felt like it.
A man so hard his veins bleed ice
When he speaks he never says it twice
Crime! The ultimate sin
Your Iso-cube is waiting when he brings you in
Anthrax' salute to Judge Dredd sounds exactly like I imagine a song about a grim crimefighter in an apocalyptic Mega City shuld sound. Heavy metal, guitar solos out the wazoo and the entire band ending each verse with a resounding "DROKK IT!"
All across the land the bells ring out
It's night, sun shines bright
So I reach to hold her frozen hand in flight
As we alight in the bottle city of Kandor
A nonsense song inspired by the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper phase, featuring a slew of Superman references. Apparently in the Elseworld comic Kingdom Come (which I really need to read one of these days), Brainiac 5 has a daughter with Supergirl - I've no idea if she's the one the singer has in mind, but anyway I dig this silly feelgood song!
I'm calling on citizens from all over the world
This is Captain America calling
I helped you out when you were down on your knees
Will you catch me now I'm falling
Fact: Ray Davis has never actually confirmed that he had the Marvel character in mind when he wrote this song (nor has he denied it). Fact: Ray Davis once wrote a song about a far more obscure superhero, Johnny Thunder. Fact: It wouldn't be the first time somebody used Cap as a symbol, and anyway who says this song can't both be about the failing American economy AND a superhero. (LET ME HAVE THIS ONE)
I've got time to think about the beauty of a thousand variations
Of the beating of a wing of a hummingbird suspended in the aspic of the world
Moving slower than molasses
As I'm off to catch the girl who is falling off the bridge
Barry Allen is the name of the second Flash, and the protagonist of this melancholy song about loneliness and regret. Superspeed doesn't sound so hot after all. I guess I know why Quicksilver went bad.
So he might sell a few more comics
As soberly he saves the world
But I've had seven gin and tonics
And I want you to be my girl
Well I could understand it
If he were Superman
'Cause after all that cat can fly
But take away that Batmobile
That boat, that belt, that butler
He's just another boring guy
So Aquaman's in love with Bruce Wayne's main squeeze, Vicki Vale, and this entire song is a bitter attempt at cockblocking Batman and pointing out the upside of free seafood and visiting the Titanic. The entire thing is hilarious (the follow up, Batman's Reply, isn't nearly as funny).
We were still in High School when I met you
If you believe the continuity
I rescued you from robots and untied you from the tracks
And you pretended not to know that it was me
We didn't even kiss until issue twenty-six
And this world still feels like nineteen sixty-three
A beautiful love song from the point of view of an unnamed Silver Age superhero. The fact that it namedrops Sue Dibney (Elongated Man's wife) and poo-poos the grimdark twists and turns of comic book continuity (Gwen Stacy isn't dead, she's only sleeping) only makes me love it more. I'm not crazy about the rest of the Metasciences catalogue, but it's a beautiful song (and it can be downloaded legally and completely free over here.).
BONUS TRACK:
Ookla The Mook: 'Stop Talking about Comic Books or I'll Kill You'
I just couldn't care less if they bring back Kraven
And I don't care if Spider-Man's a clone
Stop spending all our cash on back issues of the Flash
Or I swear to God you're gonna spend your twilight years alone
When all else fails.
So hey, I made my own. With some half-assed graphics thrown in because I felt like it.
A man so hard his veins bleed ice
When he speaks he never says it twice
Crime! The ultimate sin
Your Iso-cube is waiting when he brings you in
Anthrax' salute to Judge Dredd sounds exactly like I imagine a song about a grim crimefighter in an apocalyptic Mega City shuld sound. Heavy metal, guitar solos out the wazoo and the entire band ending each verse with a resounding "DROKK IT!"
All across the land the bells ring out
It's night, sun shines bright
So I reach to hold her frozen hand in flight
As we alight in the bottle city of Kandor
A nonsense song inspired by the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper phase, featuring a slew of Superman references. Apparently in the Elseworld comic Kingdom Come (which I really need to read one of these days), Brainiac 5 has a daughter with Supergirl - I've no idea if she's the one the singer has in mind, but anyway I dig this silly feelgood song!
I'm calling on citizens from all over the world
This is Captain America calling
I helped you out when you were down on your knees
Will you catch me now I'm falling
Fact: Ray Davis has never actually confirmed that he had the Marvel character in mind when he wrote this song (nor has he denied it). Fact: Ray Davis once wrote a song about a far more obscure superhero, Johnny Thunder. Fact: It wouldn't be the first time somebody used Cap as a symbol, and anyway who says this song can't both be about the failing American economy AND a superhero. (LET ME HAVE THIS ONE)
I've got time to think about the beauty of a thousand variations
Of the beating of a wing of a hummingbird suspended in the aspic of the world
Moving slower than molasses
As I'm off to catch the girl who is falling off the bridge
Barry Allen is the name of the second Flash, and the protagonist of this melancholy song about loneliness and regret. Superspeed doesn't sound so hot after all. I guess I know why Quicksilver went bad.
So he might sell a few more comics
As soberly he saves the world
But I've had seven gin and tonics
And I want you to be my girl
Well I could understand it
If he were Superman
'Cause after all that cat can fly
But take away that Batmobile
That boat, that belt, that butler
He's just another boring guy
So Aquaman's in love with Bruce Wayne's main squeeze, Vicki Vale, and this entire song is a bitter attempt at cockblocking Batman and pointing out the upside of free seafood and visiting the Titanic. The entire thing is hilarious (the follow up, Batman's Reply, isn't nearly as funny).
We were still in High School when I met you
If you believe the continuity
I rescued you from robots and untied you from the tracks
And you pretended not to know that it was me
We didn't even kiss until issue twenty-six
And this world still feels like nineteen sixty-three
A beautiful love song from the point of view of an unnamed Silver Age superhero. The fact that it namedrops Sue Dibney (Elongated Man's wife) and poo-poos the grimdark twists and turns of comic book continuity (Gwen Stacy isn't dead, she's only sleeping) only makes me love it more. I'm not crazy about the rest of the Metasciences catalogue, but it's a beautiful song (and it can be downloaded legally and completely free over here.).
BONUS TRACK:
Ookla The Mook: 'Stop Talking about Comic Books or I'll Kill You'
I just couldn't care less if they bring back Kraven
And I don't care if Spider-Man's a clone
Stop spending all our cash on back issues of the Flash
Or I swear to God you're gonna spend your twilight years alone
When all else fails.