I Feel Sick....
I feel sick, and vulnerable. My birthday had mostly ups, but the downs were very, very low... I'm not very happy at this exact moment. I think I may just be tired, I don't know. I don't really know what's going on in my life and it feels like shit. But on a good note, Brent told me that I was acting like I did before Bloomington. That's good I think... I was always super depressed before bloomington tho, and I just did a really good job of masking it. I stopped trying to mask it after bloomington. Everyone is so worried about me maybe I feel like I need a mask to hide my true feelings... Am I becoming that fake again? Am I just getting happy again after years of having a rain cloud hanging over my head? I don't know. My ex's best friend dosent want to talk to her apparently anymore. She want's to talk to me to find out my story because she is sick of being lied to by my ex, and dosen't like her bullshit. Which actually dosen't make me happy as she really really needs a good friend right now... hrmph, nevermind, she has her bestest bud charlie there to help her through, maybe she dosen't need her best girl friend... I feel very vulnerable, like an exposed wire. I'm going back to bed...