Phantoms
(with apologies to V.S. Ramachandran, author of the excellent book: "Phantoms In The Brain."
Phantoms
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There is a rich and studied history of phantoms:
An arm or leg that lingers indefinitely after its loss
In the mind of the patient.
Phantom breasts after mascectomy,
phantom menstrual cramps after hysterectomy,
a phantom nose, a phantom face,
a phantom penis that gives rise to phantom erections.
Some are paralyzed, locked in awkward positions
By the brain’s memory of the body. Others move:
Hands that gesture, that try to pick up the phone,
That waive invisibly for the check in restaurants,
That pick up coffee cups and hurt when someone pulls the cup away.
The phantoms itch, they burn, they cramp, and far too often
Ache in a endless blaze of agony.
I remember a time when mine too ached inconsolably,
When it itched insatiably, when it burned as each thought happened.
Now I only feel it when I remember --
when I am still, I feel it move
to fill the spaces where I have been:
My body, whole, lit by the feeling of being in love with you,
Is the phantom.
A.K. (March 13,2006 Draft)
Phantoms
*********
There is a rich and studied history of phantoms:
An arm or leg that lingers indefinitely after its loss
In the mind of the patient.
Phantom breasts after mascectomy,
phantom menstrual cramps after hysterectomy,
a phantom nose, a phantom face,
a phantom penis that gives rise to phantom erections.
Some are paralyzed, locked in awkward positions
By the brain’s memory of the body. Others move:
Hands that gesture, that try to pick up the phone,
That waive invisibly for the check in restaurants,
That pick up coffee cups and hurt when someone pulls the cup away.
The phantoms itch, they burn, they cramp, and far too often
Ache in a endless blaze of agony.
I remember a time when mine too ached inconsolably,
When it itched insatiably, when it burned as each thought happened.
Now I only feel it when I remember --
when I am still, I feel it move
to fill the spaces where I have been:
My body, whole, lit by the feeling of being in love with you,
Is the phantom.
A.K. (March 13,2006 Draft)