Why Agalloch is gay
I spent longer than I should have explaining what could have been said in a sentence (Agalloch is gay.) in a facebook comment and felt compelled to post it here in case any of you are die-hard Agalloch fans who think saying they're just gay is a copout. I HAVE MY REASONS.
"I have given Agalloch a fair chance on more than one occasion and I have to say it was more like looking into the shitter than up at the stars. Agalloch is such a lame band. I feel like explaining this is like trying to explain why the sky is blue but let me break it down. They are overly sentimental, and not in a romantic way which would be acceptable. The lyrics try too hard to be spiritual and nature-y and deep, which only highlights how shallow their message actually is. I find their music uncreative, bland, boring, and with little to say. They're middle aged Portlanders (aka wanky, whiny, pussy little bitches which is FINE for bands like Spiritual Front, Derniere Volonte and Death in June because at least those guys admit they are fags) with office jobs and (most likely) little more than a high school education which is also FINE but I begin to get embarassed for the guy when I've listened to a whole album made by this shallow retard trying so hard to sound smart, poetic, and enlightened in the dumbest, most clumsily written, unenlightened way possible. They're a bunch of posers, absolutely everything about them and their music seems so forced. I also really hate the way they've blended metal, neo-folk and ambient. You wind up with a band that does none of the things metal or neo-folk does well, and your left with a kind of musical dead space. I can understand why they've gotten such a huge following (especially among young "green" suburbanites) they're easy to listen to, but they're terrible artists.There's no real grit or soul or honesty, no struggle or quest for truth/meaning and no fun either. They talk all of the time about how they're so fascinated by and connected to nature all like "Oooooh look I've found meaning in my life outside of myself... IN THE TREES AHHHHH THE WAVES *cue pathetic out of place black metal wail*". I don't care if he's dumb enough to have talked himself into finding god/meaning in a tree he watered with his and his band mates' jizz, it just makes for some shitty fucking music. "
Fucking gay.
"I have given Agalloch a fair chance on more than one occasion and I have to say it was more like looking into the shitter than up at the stars. Agalloch is such a lame band. I feel like explaining this is like trying to explain why the sky is blue but let me break it down. They are overly sentimental, and not in a romantic way which would be acceptable. The lyrics try too hard to be spiritual and nature-y and deep, which only highlights how shallow their message actually is. I find their music uncreative, bland, boring, and with little to say. They're middle aged Portlanders (aka wanky, whiny, pussy little bitches which is FINE for bands like Spiritual Front, Derniere Volonte and Death in June because at least those guys admit they are fags) with office jobs and (most likely) little more than a high school education which is also FINE but I begin to get embarassed for the guy when I've listened to a whole album made by this shallow retard trying so hard to sound smart, poetic, and enlightened in the dumbest, most clumsily written, unenlightened way possible. They're a bunch of posers, absolutely everything about them and their music seems so forced. I also really hate the way they've blended metal, neo-folk and ambient. You wind up with a band that does none of the things metal or neo-folk does well, and your left with a kind of musical dead space. I can understand why they've gotten such a huge following (especially among young "green" suburbanites) they're easy to listen to, but they're terrible artists.There's no real grit or soul or honesty, no struggle or quest for truth/meaning and no fun either. They talk all of the time about how they're so fascinated by and connected to nature all like "Oooooh look I've found meaning in my life outside of myself... IN THE TREES AHHHHH THE WAVES *cue pathetic out of place black metal wail*". I don't care if he's dumb enough to have talked himself into finding god/meaning in a tree he watered with his and his band mates' jizz, it just makes for some shitty fucking music. "
Fucking gay.