(no subject)
Life.
What can you say?
One minute, it's totally kicking your ass. Like, inch-from-death kicking your ass.
Next minute...not amazing, but starting to look up. Like I'm in the hospital bed, though not so comfortable, recovering from my wounds and just knowing that it's going to get better.
It's the knowing that I'm in charge of how fast I recover that makes me feel better.
As cliche as it sounds, you really are in charge of your own destiny. It's not "if i die," it's "when," and so seeing as longevity doesn't run in my family, I'm going to make my one shot at life a hell of a shot.
Optimism is a choice. A very very very hard choice. But I think it's necessary in order for me to be active in my life, not just present in it, like so many people are today.
"-Iris, in the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend."
That's my problem. I'm the "best friend" of my own life.
Psh, fuck that shit. I'm not going to stand for it anymore.
"You're supposed to be the leading lady in your own life, for God's sake!"
I'm going to need some serious help to keep this up...by this I mean optimism and not allowing myself to sink into my hellhole of depression again. And that's always hard for me to admit: that I'm not perfect, that I'm not completely self-sufficient, and that I really do need help staying with things. But this is different than most things: this isn't like I'm not following through calling someone back or I'm not following through the last of my medication; this is make-or-break, life-altering kind of follow through. So..yeah. Just be conscious that I'm making an effort, even if you can't see it on a given day.
I'm trying.
What can you say?
One minute, it's totally kicking your ass. Like, inch-from-death kicking your ass.
Next minute...not amazing, but starting to look up. Like I'm in the hospital bed, though not so comfortable, recovering from my wounds and just knowing that it's going to get better.
It's the knowing that I'm in charge of how fast I recover that makes me feel better.
As cliche as it sounds, you really are in charge of your own destiny. It's not "if i die," it's "when," and so seeing as longevity doesn't run in my family, I'm going to make my one shot at life a hell of a shot.
Optimism is a choice. A very very very hard choice. But I think it's necessary in order for me to be active in my life, not just present in it, like so many people are today.
"-Iris, in the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend."
That's my problem. I'm the "best friend" of my own life.
Psh, fuck that shit. I'm not going to stand for it anymore.
"You're supposed to be the leading lady in your own life, for God's sake!"
I'm going to need some serious help to keep this up...by this I mean optimism and not allowing myself to sink into my hellhole of depression again. And that's always hard for me to admit: that I'm not perfect, that I'm not completely self-sufficient, and that I really do need help staying with things. But this is different than most things: this isn't like I'm not following through calling someone back or I'm not following through the last of my medication; this is make-or-break, life-altering kind of follow through. So..yeah. Just be conscious that I'm making an effort, even if you can't see it on a given day.
I'm trying.