(no subject)
There's a guy who keeps coming into the library who is really starting to weird me out, and this experience is causing me to rethink my way of dealing with and reacting to people. At first, he was all right. He comes into the library every day to use the computers, which is totally fine by me. That's how we got to talking; he's just an open, friendly guy. I didn't mind having conversations with him as he's entering or exiting the computer lab. He smells rather strongly of smoke, but I can deal with that. (For those of you just tuning in, cigarette smoke gives me a raging headache, and the smell that eminates from someone who smokes has sometimes made me nauseous.) A couple of shifts ago, so probably the middle of last week, he comes up to my desk with a Sharpie and says "Give me your hand." I'm like, um, no. He persisted, said he wouldn't draw anything bad. Finally, he grabs my hand and draws a large cross on it. I know he's hardcore Christian, spends a lot of time volunteering at his church, but I felt this was inappropriate. The other day, he found out that I also work at Borders, and now comes in there every day too. Yesterday he shows up at Borders, tells me he checked at the library earlier and didn't see me, then proceeds to follow me around the store while I'm reshelving. He hugged me, twice. Once when he first saw me, and again as he was leaving. That really bothered me. I hug my friends all the time, but I don't hug strangers, or work-related acquaintances. And he did it while I was at work, without warning, when I had little or no way to get away from him. I hated that.
Now, today, he is here at the library again, and I'm wearing my class ring. He holds out his hand and asks to see it. I don't let him. I don't know exactly why, but I pull my hand away and hide it under my desk. I don't want him to touch me or treat me like a personal buddy at all. I'm at work, for goodness' sake. I'm not his pal. I wouldn't allow any of my regular customers at Borders to touch me either. Nor would I go up to the woman who runs the gaming store we frequent and give her a big hug or ask to touch her hand. I smile and say hi when I see her around, and call her by name, but I wouldn't presume to touch her in any way.
This is really getting to me. But this kind of thing doesn't seem to bother other people, who seem to make friends with their regular customers. I just don't like transcending that line between employee and patron/customer unless there's a good reason (know people in common, for example, and see them at a party or something).
I don't know if I'm totally delusional and reacting to this situation the wrong way, or if he's out of line and forcing physical contact that I don't like.
I tell you one thing though: if he tries to hug me at work one more time, I'm reporting his ass.
Now, today, he is here at the library again, and I'm wearing my class ring. He holds out his hand and asks to see it. I don't let him. I don't know exactly why, but I pull my hand away and hide it under my desk. I don't want him to touch me or treat me like a personal buddy at all. I'm at work, for goodness' sake. I'm not his pal. I wouldn't allow any of my regular customers at Borders to touch me either. Nor would I go up to the woman who runs the gaming store we frequent and give her a big hug or ask to touch her hand. I smile and say hi when I see her around, and call her by name, but I wouldn't presume to touch her in any way.
This is really getting to me. But this kind of thing doesn't seem to bother other people, who seem to make friends with their regular customers. I just don't like transcending that line between employee and patron/customer unless there's a good reason (know people in common, for example, and see them at a party or something).
I don't know if I'm totally delusional and reacting to this situation the wrong way, or if he's out of line and forcing physical contact that I don't like.
I tell you one thing though: if he tries to hug me at work one more time, I'm reporting his ass.