LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES...CH 23.2/36
Title: Love Knows No Boundaries
Author: tikibuddy91
Characters: EXO and BAP, Beast (Kikwang, Dongwoon, and Doojoon), SHINee (Jinki), JR (JJProject), f(x) (Victoria and Sunyoung), INFINITE (Howon), and SS501 (Jungmin)
Word Count: 6100
Genre: College, Drama, AU
Rating: PG-13
Summary: College students; Blind, Deaf and Mute. Their lives deal with the ups and downs, like a roller coaster. They find relationships, and companionships. Life does not always have a happy ending, but they can try to get their own.
Author Note: Wufan and his brother sees Jongdae for the first time since the accident; Yixing hears what happened to Jongdae; A small crowd gathers in the hospital for news on Jongdae's condition...
Warning: Extreme language under stressful conditions, and Character Injury/Death, Emotional Wreckage of Characters. Tissues are a must.
8PM
“MAKE WAY FOR THE PATIENT, HE’S IN CRITICAL CONDITION!!”
Heads are turning to one end of the hallway as they hear hurried footsteps and shuffling as the doctors and nurses are quickly transporting the stretcher to the doors that lead to the operation rooms. Doojoon and Jinki have arrived together, watching the doctors rushing past them.
Minseok quickly grabs the chance to look at the patient and his eyes bulge at the sight of the familiar clothes. He stands back against the corridor wall, looking towards Wufan with despair.
Catching his brother’s glance, Wufan stands up quickly and runs over to the stretcher to look at the patient, the others following suit. What Wufan sees makes him feel like he is being punched in the gut, heart and mind.
Lying on the moving stretcher, Jongdae seems to be sleeping peacefully; yet his appearance is bloodied and ragged from the accident. He has a neck brace around his body. Wufan heaves a sob as he reaches for Jongdae’s hand, walking in time with the doctors and the stretcher. He hastily bombards his brother with questions in between snivels, “C-Ch-chenchen? Ar-are you awake? P-please, can you hear me? Li-Listen to me, are you a-awake, Chenchen? Oh god, please, please wake up, Chenchen. Che- I’M HIS BROTHER, DAMMIT. DON’T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME!!” Wufan roars at one of the doctors who continue to haughtily push him aside, as he hurries to keep in time with them.
“CHENCHEN, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!? DON’T YOU DIE ON ME. DON’T YOU FUCKING DIE ON ME, YOU HEAR ME?! I’VE LIVED THROUGH THE BIGGEST REGRET OF MY LIFE BECAUSE OF YOU, AND I DON’T WANNA LIVE THROUGH ANOTHER ONE, DAMMIT!! CHENCHEN.” Wufan is in hysterics as he holds onto Jongdae’s hand, stroking it with his thumb and then bringing it to his cheek. Wufan is sobbing, pounding his other fist on the empty space on the stretcher, begging Jongdae to wake up.
“CHENCHEN, DAMMIT, WAKE UP, PLEASE. P-please, J-Jongdae-yah, please. I-I’m be-begging you, don’t you dare l-l-leave me ag-again. I c-c-can’t bear to live without you. I-I love you t-too much, Chenchen. I don’t want to let you go.” Wufan looks down to his brother, still not responding to the touch or the shouts. Wufan moans pitifully as he continues to walk with the stretcher and the doctors, waiting to see for any reaction from his brother.
“Sir, you have to leave. We are about to enter a restricted section, and you are not allowed. I am deeply sorry about your brother, but we must quickly bring his condition to normal, if you will allow yourself to be moved out of the way, please.” One of the nurses across from Wufan has a gentle voice. Wufan looks up and he immediately recognizes him from ChaKeo Corner, one of the 7 guys whom Zitao hung around with.
“O-okay. I will, but p-please. Please. I beg of you, take care of my Jongdae, please?” Sniffling, Wufan cannot help but stress that request.
“We will do our best, don’t worry.”
Wufan feels a strong grip on his arm and he looks back to see a blurry Doojoon holding him back. Slowing to a stop, Wufan continues to sob as he reluctantly lets go of Jongdae’s hand; he sees it fall limply to the side before one of the doctors brings it back on the stretcher. The doctors and nurses finally push the stretcher through the doors with Jongdae on it, and then all that is left in front of the shocked crowd are the doors swinging in and out irregularly. Wufan stares with heaving gasps after his brother through the windows of the swinging doors.
“I…I…” Wufan is at loss for words as the image of bloodied Jongdae appears in his mind. “Jongdae…Jongdae… AHHHHHH!” Wufan lets out a heart-wrenching wail into the hallway as he collapses to his knees, his back hunched over and his head hanging in despair.
“J-Jongdae, you idiot! Why d-did you have to go b-by yourself without me in the rain?! You should’ve let me go with you!!” Wufan continues to sob, his hands brought up to his eyes, kneeling in front of the swinging doors as the others are watching him from a distance with teary eyes and solemn looks.
- - -
8PM
“Yixing-ah…come here.”
Hearing his name being called, Yixing looks up from his card, smiling; Zitao turns to Yongguk as well. His smile drops slowly when he spots Yongguk’s sad look as Yongguk beckons him closer. Yixing pulls away from Zitao, looking at him for any answers, but Zitao can only shake his head and shrug. Himchan does nothing but watch them with a worried expression, as he continues to stand with Jongup in his arms.
Yixing cannot help but feel something daunting filling up his body. It starts to make his heart race and then makes his ears tune out the crowd, his mind in a daze.
“Yixing-ah…there’s been an accident.” Yongguk’s eyes are brimming with tears.
Yixing’s eyebrow twitches in confusion, and Yixing gulps nervously, half wanting to hear the news and half not wanting to hear it.
“I'm so, so sorry, Yixing.” Yongguk looks at his friend with sad, wet eyes, before he pulls Yixing roughly into a hug.
Yixing is taken aback at the hug, still confused at what is going on. Is it my sister? Is it my parents?
Panic strikes Yixing in the face, and his face pales. …Is it Jongdae?
“Less than an hour ago, Jongdae was in a hit-and-run; he’s already taken to the ER and the-…they…I’m so sorry, Yixing,” Yongguk murmurs in Yixing’s ear as he holds Yixing in his arms, hearing him choke out a sob. He feels Yixing stumbling and struggling in his arms, as Yixing’s knees give in to his body weight.
“They say he’s in a fatal condition, and I don’t know how serious it is,” Yongguk murmurs in Yixing’s ear as the hushed whispers of “no, no, no, no, this isn’t happening” turn into a louder whispers of “You’re lying, Yongguk. You’re lying, this isn’t happening. You’re lying.”
Yixing means to hit Yongguk, but the latter has his arms around Yixing’s body, trapping them to his sides. Yixing’s attempts at hitting Yongguk have failed, and his struggle with Yongguk slowly attracts attention from the rest of his friends, as Daehyun, Luhan, Zitao, Himchan and Kyungsoo are the first people to catch them. Soon after, their boyfriends, Junhong, and JR catch on, and the whole group is watching, some with confused looks, some with shocked looks.
Noticing this, Yongguk gently shushes Yixing, taking him outside of the center to avoid attention. Yixing tries his best to keep walking with the help of Yongguk, but fails, so Yongguk ends up half-leading him, half-dragging him. Zitao and Himchan look at each other, wondering what exactly Yongguk said that made Yixing break down and accuse him of lying.
“Hyung, what’s wrong with Yixing-hyung?” Himchan feels Jongup’s head shifting near his cheek.
“I…I don’t know. But I have to take you guys home, except for Luhan and Zitao…I don’t think we’re going to Jongdae’s place tonight.” Himchan bites on his bottom lip in worry.
- - -
8:10PM
A chilly wind, due to the moisture of the cold rain, surrounds the arts center…
Yongguk and Yixing are outside the center, standing under the overhang as Yixing continues to sob, his voice mumbling “Zhongda, Zhongda, why? Why, Zhongda?” as Yongguk hugs him.
“That was Joonmyeon on the phone, Wufan’s not handling it well either, but Minseok’s calling their parents. Apparently, Dongwoon and Kikwang saw the accident and thank god they were nearby, Yixing. Jongdae was unconscious after the impact, suffering from a major concussion. H-He…He almost d-di-”
“ZHONGDA, DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE ME. WE MADE A PROMISE.” Screaming to the rain, Yixing lets out a strangled wail as he shakes his head in anguish. He struggles in Yongguk’s embrace, half-wanting to get out, half-wanting the comfort. A few neighboring people look to the source of the cries, confused at the outburst. Some have been quietly watching with pity.
Trying to speak over Yixing’s whimpering sobs, Yongguk tries to soothe the young man in his arms. “Yixing, shh, it’s okay, it’ll be okay. The doctors managed to revive him back, and so far, he’s hanging on to survive. He’s a fighter, Yixing.” Yongguk feels a little guilty giving Yixing a little bit of false hope, though he hopes that it would be true. Yongguk glances around their surroundings and tries to smile at the people, assuring that everything is okay. “You just have to remember that, Jongdae’s a fighter. Jongdae’s in good hands, and he needs our help to fight for his life. Can you do that for me, Yixing?”
Yongguk continues to hold the heaving and whimpering Yixing in his arms. “I know how hard it is for you right now, and it’s hard for me too. It’s hard for me to see you like this, especially after an amazing performance you delivered tonight. The others don’t know yet, and I can’t tell them tonight, except Luhan and Zitao. But we need to be strong for Jongdae. Listen,” he holds the sides of Yixing’s face and pulls him away from the hug to make Yixing look at him. He can hear Yixing sniffling as he observes Yixing’s condition; the bloodshot eyes, his lips trembling, and the tear streaks on Yixing’s cheeks. Yongguk feels his heart breaking at the sight, and he gulps before he informs Yixing the plan for tonight.
“I will take you, Zitao and Luhan to the hospital. Jongdae’s sister is on her way. I don’t know about their parents but hopefully they will be on their way. Let’s go back inside when you’re done, we don’t want to attract the others’ attention. I’m so sorry you had to hear this tonight; I really am. Just know that we’re here for you; I’m here for you, Yixing-ah.” When the weeping Yixing can only respond with a nod, Yongguk brings Yixing to his chest once again, letting him cry some more.
- - -
8:20PM
Wufan slowly stands up from the floor, and he gets slightly dizzy from the breakdown. Doojoon, Jinki and Joonmyeon react quickly to help him, but they cannot assist him in time, when Wufan stumbles to the wall shoulder-on. Wufan then turns, his back resting against the wall. A few moments pass in silence before there is a sudden BAM.
Everyone is startled by the noise, looking at Wufan in shock, as he has just slammed his fist against the wall. Wufan is no longer crying, but he is still teary-eyed, biting on his bottom lip. He turns around to face the wall, so no one can see him breaking down, and he lets out a loud grunt when he slams his fist against the wall for the second time that night. A mixture of shocked “Wufan-ah!”s and serious “Yah, stop it”s are heard from the group.
Not listening to the group, Wufan keeps punching the wall a few more times out of anguish when Joonmyeon intercedes. Joonmyeon grabs Wufan’s wrists and tries to pull him away from the wall. Wufan lets out a despairing moan of pain, struggling to break free, wanting to lurch himself at the wall. Joonmyeon then moves around to stand in front of Wufan, and wraps his arms around Wufan’s chest tightly, trapping Yifan’s arms in the process.
“Wufan-hyung, you need to stop.” Joonmyeon orders, ignoring Wufan’s struggles and low grunts. “You’re already in enough pain because of your brother. Stop that, okay? Stop hurting yourself more than you already are.” Wufan tries to shrug him off, but Joonmyeon remains unmoved, maintaining his footing and keeping Wufan still.
“Don’t put yourself in his shoes, just put yourself together. We’re in a hospital; Jong-”, Joonmyeon’s throat hitches from the memory of seeing his friend on a stretcher, “…Jongdae is in good hands.”
At that line, Wufan lets out a strangled noise, a mixture of a gasp and a sob. He gives up struggling his way out of Joonmyeon’s hold, yielding to bury his face on Joonmyeon’s hair and letting the tears fall. He then wraps his arms around Joonmyeon, his hands clutching at the back of Joonmyeon’s jacket.
“I want my Jongdae back, J-Joonmyeon. I-I need him back. He can’t leave me, not again. I won’t allow it. I can’t live without him, Joonmyeon. I just can’t.” Wufan mumbles loudly in Joonmyeon’s hair, as Joonmyeon starts to sway with Wufan, hoping it will soothe him down more. Tears fall from Joonmyeon’s eyes when he hears Wufan’s wretched pleas.
The others watch the guys with pity and awe, at both Wufan’s capacity to have such compassion for his brother to the point where he vowed out loud twice that he could not bear to live a life without Jongdae, and at Joonmyeon’s ability to stand his ground and comfort him, like a father.
Tick…tock…tick…tock…
The tick-tock of the clock joins the weeping as Wufan and the others wait in the hallway. Wrapped in a tight embrace in Joonmyeon’s arms, Wufan is crying on Joonmyeon’s head, chanting his brother’s name.
- - -
8:30PM
“Jinki-yah! Doojoon-ah!” Everyone except for Wufan turn to the shout.
Qian is hurriedly walking down the corridor with Sunyoung, soothing her as Sunyoung tries to hold back her tears.
Bursting into tears, Sunyoung runs to Wufan, as Joonmyeon lets go of Wufan, stepping aside to let her hug her brother. Wufan tries to regain his composure but he falls apart in his sister’s arms. She knows how close Wufan is with Jongdae; everyone who knows Jongdae are usually close with him, but Wufan and Jongdae have a special connection, a bond that runs deep, and she knows the reason why. She leads him to sit on the floor, their backs against the wall, and hugs her brother’s side. Wufan wraps one arm around her shoulders and continues to weep on her hair, half-hugging her. Deep inside, Wufan is thankful for his sister to be there for him.
The others fill Qian in on what she and Sunyoung have missed, on the general overlook of what Jongdae is going through at the moment, and they decide not to tell Sunyoung the details yet. Qian looks to Wufan and Sunyoung with sad eyes, her heart broken at the sight. She knows what it is like to see a loved one look so broken and in such a terrible condition, but she was lucky to have Zitao be walking and moving in her memory, barely escaping physical violence; Jongdae was not.
8:50PM
Tick…tock… Seconds feel like minutes…
Tick…tock… Minutes feel like hours…
Wufan’s memory comes back again like a creeping wraith…
- - - -
Minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like days passed.
Wufan was sitting at the waiting room, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. Their mother sat next to him, holding his hand. Sunyoung was sitting next to their mother, watching with curious eyes at her second eldest brother. “Wupan-oppa…will Jonggie-oppa be okay?” Sunyoung asked her brother. After getting no response, she looked to their mother with wide eyes, “Umma?” Their mother could stare at her youngest and only daughter with sad eyes, “I don’t know…all we can do is hope and pray, Sunyoung-ah.”
Just then, the father and Minseok had arrived to the hospital, and they were looking frantic, walking up to their family members. After some vague explanation from the mother, the men felt a bit relieved but would not dare to keep their hopes up. They had to brace themselves for any news, whether good or bad. Just then, a bell rang, signaling that the doctors were coming out of the emergency room with news.
The doctors walked up to the family, with mixed emotions. They all looked sad, but there was a trace of relief on each face. Wufan did not know what to feel, confused by the display of mixed emotions. The good news was that Jongdae was alive and awake, but his breathing was labored because there were two broken ribs on his left side, according to an X-ray scan; some bruises on his chest and bumps on his head from the impacts with the branches; and some minor scratches and cuts on his legs and arms. The family could see him one at a time tonight if they wished to. The most solemn news was that even though Jongdae managed to miraculously survive the fall, his eyesight was deteriorating quickly. One of his eyes was permanently damaged and the other had some internal bleeding, and it was possible that he may lose all eyesight within the next few hours; there was nothing that the doctors could do to give him back his sight.
The family had been relieved at first with the good news, but looked devastated when they heard the bad news. The mother started weeping and her husband gathered her in his arms to console her.
Wufan stood there in shock, all air gushed out of him as if he was punched in the stomach. He could not feel Minseok’s hand resting on his shoulder, gripping slightly. His mind in a numb state, Wufan was led to his brother’s room by one of the nurses, consoling him with a pat on his arm. He blinked when they reached the door; he had no idea how he got there. Wufan looked through the small window in the door and saw Jongdae lying on the patient bed. Jongdae, his brother with a heavy bandage wrapped around his head, covering his eyes. His Jongdae.
- - - -
“Where’s Zhongda? Is he alright??”
The voice of Yixing snaps Wufan out of his thoughts and gathers everyone’s attention to the hallway as they see Yixing running and stumbling, shouting for Jongdae’s condition. Yongguk, Zitao and Luhan are trailing behind.
Minseok goes to Yixing, holding him close, whispering to him that Jongdae has been taken to the ER and he looks pretty bad. Yixing falls apart, sinking to his knees, and Minseok tries to hold onto Yixing by the arm. Kikwang is watching him, his eyes tired due to his earlier crying, and feels another round of tears when he hears Yixing’s pitiful sobs. He looks away, and feels Dongwoon cradling his head with his arm, as he clasps one of his hands with Dongwoon’s free hand.
Yongguk goes to Joonmyeon and explains the situation. “Himchan has already taken most of the guys back home. Daehyun and Kyungsoo are heading to Kyungsoo’s place. They all don’t know yet what happened, they only saw Yixing breaking down. I told them that they all needed to get some rest; it had been a long day for most of them; no point for them to deal with this ordeal after their dance auditions tonight. They do not need to know this yet.
“Luhan and Zitao know, I told them on the way here. They took it okay; Zitao was a little more emotional than Luhan, though not as bad as Yixing, since he and Jongdae seemed to be good friends. Luhan was comforting his brother, who was just hysterical in the car. Ah, excuse me.” There is a sudden noise of a ringtone from Yongguk’s cell phone in the pocket of his jacket; Yongguk checks it and finds a text message.
“Oh, that was Daehyun. He just texted me that Bora and Hyojung are at Kyungsoo’s sisters’ apartment next door.” Joonmyeon nods.
“Okay; I’ve not yet told Chanyeol and Baekhyun because they’re already at their date and I don’t want to ruin their night just yet, but as soon as we hear from the doctors about Jongdae’s condition, I’ll let them know,” Joonmyeon says sadly.
Zitao watches Wufan from a distance, unsure whether he can go up to him or not. He remembers that Wufan had been avoiding him, and ever since he arrived at the hospital, Wufan has not laid one glance at him. Luhan comes up to Zitao and links his arm with him, pulling him to sit next to Yixing who is still seated on the floor, sniffling.
“Yixing took it pretty hard, but man, Wufan’s taking it even worse than he did,” Yongguk observes as he stands next to Doojoon, Jinki, Joonmyeon, and Qian.
“You should’ve seen him earlier, it was just heart-breaking.” Doojoon mutters. “We all saw Jongdae on the stretcher with a group of doctors and nurses, and Wufan just went up and walked with them, sobbing his heart out. Jongdae looked pretty bad, blood and bruises, and even his body…there were braces…” Doojoon gulps, feeling emotions stuck in his throat. “It’s amazing that he survived an impact from the side of a car. I had to restrain Wufan from going further past those doors” - Doojoon points to the doors with his thumb - “and Wufan just lost it there, down on his knees on the floor.”
Yongguk shakes his head sadly at the news. “Jongdae’s quite the person that everyone, myself including, cannot help but be close with. It seems that there are a few people that broke the boundaries between them and Jongdae, being so emotionally close, and sometimes physically close, like Yixing and Wufan. Hearing that something like this happened to Jongdae, these two showed a lot more raw emotions than any of us would show.” The others nod in agreement, as they watch the said people with sympathetic eyes.
“Minseok-sshi, what happened to Jongdae that made Wufan say that? Something like ‘Because of you, I’ve lived through one biggest regret of my life, and I don’t want to live through another one now? What did Jongdae do that Wufan regretted doing before?” Dongwoon asks.
“Ah…the regret Wufan-oppa has…was when Jongdae-oppa lost his sight.” Sunyoung replies, as everyone, except for Minseok and Wufan, perk up their ears at the interesting comment. Wufan stares blankly into space, his eyes red and puffy from the tears.
“It was back in our hometown near the seaport village when I was with umma in the living room, and Wufan-oppa was watching Jonggie-oppa climb the tree. The sky had started to look as if it was to rain, and we heard Wufan tell Jongdae to be careful. Umma got worried and told Wufan to tell Jongdae to get back down, but Wufan assured her that it would be fine, he had his eyes on him anyway.”
Wufan’s light sobs interrupts Sunyoung’s speech, and the crowd looks to Wufan. “I shouldn’t have said that,” Wufan mumbles to himself as he wipes the tears from his eyes. “It didn’t seem like it was a big deal and I thought it was gonna be a little shower.” Sunyoung wraps her arms around Wufan’s clothed bicep, feeling sympathetic.
“But the lightning and thunder came, and in a few seconds, there was this loud crack, snap, and then it was all so surreal. Just like that, the tree started to collapse, and there was no sign of Jongdae. I ran to the tree, screaming, looking for him, and then I finally found him. What I saw, it broke my heart. He was just a little kid back then, and to be holding on a branch, with all…these…bruises” - Wufan gives a gasp, feeling like these three words are causing him pain to even say it, as the recent memory plays in his mind - “…I had to be strong. I told him to let go and fall because I would be right there to catch him.” Wufan gulps, staring at the floor.
Sunyoung looks at her brother with pity, before looking back at the small crowd, their shock evident on their faces. She sees Yixing seated on the floor as well, his back against the wall, looking at her with sad, puffy eyes. She picks up from where Wufan left off.
“When they came in, we saw blood from Jongdae’s eyes. I thought it was strange, but later, I found out bleeding in or from the eyes could lead to blindness. We rode with Jonggie-oppa to the hospital; Minseok-oppa and appa had not yet returned from fishing. It wasn’t until later that they showed up at the hospital, as we were waiting for the doctors to tell us about Jongdae-oppa’s condition. Umma had called the fishing wharf with the landline phone at home before the ambulance came by.”
Minseok nods gently, and speaks up. “Yeah, we didn’t get the message until later that afternoon, when the fishing boat station contacted us through the walkie-talkies that there was a serious emergency and that one of our family members was in the hospital. We immediately headed back to shore and quickly drove to the hospital. When we got there, we saw Umma, Wufan, and Sunyoung and I was honestly scared. Scared that I might have lost our brother then.
“But we waited and waited, until finally, the doctors came out. They told us that Jongdae was so lucky to survive a fall like that, but there had been some damages, temporary and permanent, that Jongdae had to bear with for the rest of his life. The permanent damage was in his eyes, and that’s how he became blind; and Wufan felt terrible about it.” He looks to his brother with a sad half-smile.
Sunyoung continues. “Since that day, Wufan-oppa vowed to never leave Jonggie-oppa’s side, because he felt it was enough punishment for him to know that Jongdae lost his sight under his watch…but on a light note, he also felt it was his responsibility to take care of his brother, and it was a way for him to be closer to Jongdae, to be the over-protective brother.” Sunyoung nudges her brother gently with a smile.
- - -
9:20PM
Time passes slowly for the group, anxiously waiting to hear for the buzzer sound from the ER. It has been over an hour since Wufan and the others, except for the recent arrivals, had last seen Jongdae. Twice, Wufan sneaks a glance at the crowd and to his own surprise, he finds himself staring at Zitao. When Zitao returns the eye contact both times, Wufan glances away.
While everyone is waiting in silence, no one makes a move, nor does anyone whisper. They either are lost in their thoughts or watching each other with sad looks, the shock of Jongdae’s accident still having a profound effect on them.
- - - -
Wufan swallowed the lump in his throat and entered the room, trying not to make any sudden noise that might startle his brother. Once he got his voice back, he braced himself to walk up to the chair without breaking down, with Jongdae resting in his sight. He heard a faint beeping sound but could not make out what it was, until he reached the chair and sat down. He looked to his right and saw that it was coming from the vital signs monitor hanging on the pole next to the bed. He also noticed an IV drip on the other side as well. He called to Jongdae softly by the nickname only he used for him.
“Chenchen?” Jongdae’s ears perked up at the sound of his nickname and the familiar voice of his hyung.
“W-Wufan-ge, is that y-you?” Jongdae’s voice was strained but the need for his older brother was there, accompanied with his hand quickly reaching out front to wherever he thought his brother was standing. Wufan heard beeping increasing from the machine, and noticed that Jongdae’s heart rate was increasing. At this, Wufan dropped his defenses and clasped his hand with Jongdae’s, and he could tell Jongdae visibly relaxed at the touch, the beeping sound slowing down to its normal rate. He brought Jongdae’s hand to his lips, kissing it, and to his cheek as he stared at Jongdae.
“I…I’m s-so…so…s-s-sorry, Chenchen-ah. I should’ve known better…” Wufan felt the tears falling, landing on the back of Jongdae’s hand. “It’s all my fault, Jongdae-yah…It’s all gege’s fault.”
Wufan closed his eyes, not wanting to see Jongdae in this condition, and he heard Jongdae weeping. “I can’t see anymore, gege. I c-can’t. I can’t even see y-you. I miss seeing your face, gege. I m-miss seeing umma and appa, our fami-“ Jongdae’s voice cracked on the last word before it collapsed to a sob, his shoulders shaking. Wufan wept as he brought himself closer to kiss Jongdae’s forehead, his free hand caressing the top of Jongdae’s head. “It will be okay, Jongdae-yah…It’s okay. I will be your eyes, I will watch out for you.”
- - - -
“Someone’s coming…or two,” Qian speaks up, startling everyone and snapping Wufan out of his flashback. They all hold their breaths as they see a doctor and a nurse come out through the doors. The unfamiliar, tall doctor has a long face yet it was quite charming to look at, and very charismatic. However, as for the shorter nurse, Wufan recognizes him from that night at ChaKeo Corner and from the earlier run in the hallway.
“Hello, I’m sorry to keep you all waiting. Are you all close to Lee Jongdae-sshi?” The long-faced doctor asks the crowd. They nod.
“We’re his family,” Minseok, Wufan and Sunyoung raise their hands as they speak at the same time.
“Actually, hyung, I’ve met most of them at Kim Jinki-hyungnim’s café,” the shorter male explains to the taller doctor as he extends his hand to indicate Jinki. “My hyungs often perform there. My name is Lee Howon,” he introduces himself with a slight bow.
“And my name is Park Jungmin,” the taller doctor greets with a bow as well.
“H-how’s Zhongda, Doctor Park?” Yixing asks, a soft voice yet audible enough to be heard, his knees drawn up to his chest as he hugs them.
“Jongdae-sshi is still in critical condition,” Doctor Park says sadly, and everyone grimace. Wufan leans his head back against the wall, closing his eyes as he wills the tears to stop. Yixing lowers his head to his knees. “There was some external bleeding on his head, but there could be possible internal bleeding in his body. Luckily his clothes spared him from external injures, but I cannot say if it’s the same for the internal injuries. When we saw his x-ray pictures, we noticed that some of his ribs seemed to have previously been broken and healed. With the human body, suffering another violent impact increases the chances for his bones breaking again. Can you tell us what happened with that?”
“…Jongdae fell from a tree that was struck by lightning. He was ten years old when it happened, and he…survived,” Minseok explains. “But with a couple of broken ribs and bruises, and minor cuts.”
“Ah…well, Jongdae-sshi has two rib bones that nearly punctured his lung. He passed out due to shortness of breath, because his ribs are limiting his lungs’ capacity to expand. When you guys saw him earlier tonight in here, not only did he pass out, but also his heart was going under cardiac arrest. We had to transfer him to one of the rooms back there to defib hi-”
“JUST GET HIM BACK ALIVE, DAMMIT.” Wufan grimaces as he feels the heaving sobs in his throat about to come.
Everyone and the two hospital staff members recoil at the loudness of Wufan’s voice, and Wufan breaks down once again, “G-God, please. G-give him one more chance to live, pleasepleasepleaseplease.” Wufan huddles to a ball, whimpering and rocking himself. Sunyoung’s tears are splashing on the floor as she continues to console her brother.
Howon says gently, “There’s one thing we need to do. And it has to be with the parents’, guardian’s or eldest sibling’s consent…”
All eyes are looking between Minseok and the younger nurse, nervous to hear what will come next because of the word ‘eldest’.
“W-we…almost lost him again” - and Wufan could let out a strangled gasp - “but we managed to revive him.
“The thing is…we need to do a CAT scan on him to check if he has a concussion and or other internal bleeding. If we do see signs of them…” Howon looks to Wufan sadly, “We need to operate on him.”
“O-operate on him how, Nurse?” Minseok asks.
“Drill a small hole through Jongdae’s head to drain the excessive bleeding… and also surgery…Goodness…” Dongwoon murmurs softly, and Wufan is quick to pick that up.
“WAIT WHAT?!” He immediately stands up, facing Dongwoon with an angry look on his face. “ARE YOU LYING TO ME?” Dongwoon looks shocked and manages to shake his head, about to explain that he was studying medicine but he had to take a break, but Wufan has already whirled around to look at Howon and Doctor Park, looking upset.
“YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU’RE GONNA DRILL A FREAKING HOLE ON MY BROTHER’S HEAD AND LET HIM DIE?!”
A little miffed at Wufan’s outburst, Howon keeps his cool and explains to him calmly, “Your brother will not die from a small hole drilled into his head. It is only to drain the excessive bleeding if we do see such signs of extradural hemorrhage in the CAT Scan. But in order for that to happen, I need to have your consent to allow us to have a CAT scan.”
“The hell I would! I don’t want my brother to be drilled like some lumber in the woodshop!”
Doctor Park intervenes and explains to Wufan, “This is not some lumberyard, Wufan-sshi, and I do understand how you’re feeling. But this is a hospital, and we’re careful with our patients in operation rooms. But again, it won’t happen if we don’t have your consent. I do strongly suggest that we have your consent to perform a CAT scan on him so we can see if there are internal damages inside his body.”
“You’regonnafreakingdrillaholeinmybrother’shead…a hole! I-I…I can’t…” Wufan is in tears. Dongwoon goes to him and places a hand on his shoulder.
“Wufan-sshi, it’ll be okay. It’s a controlled method, and the doctors know what they are doing. A CAT scan is like an X-ray but more detailed. It’s not the drilling operation part. That’s another method used only for draining excessive bleeding, if the CAT Scan shows any signs of it. Your brother will not be able to feel the pain anyway. It won’t hurt him, not one bit. What may hurt him is the possible excessive bleeding that his brain might have.”
Wufan looks at him and at Minseok, who is lost in his thoughts as he stares at the floor. After a brief moment, Minseok lifts his eyes up to meet with Howon’s.
“Y-You have my consent; I…I’m his oldest brother.” There is a slight tear falling from one of his eyes, before Minseok wipes it off hastily. He lets out a shaky breath. “Do what you need to do to get him back, please.”
Sunyoung lifts her hands to cover her face, and her shoulders start to shake, as whimpers and restraining sobs emit from her throat. Qian immediately goes to her, sitting down and wrapping her arms around her. Wufan peers over to his sister and he feels a pang of sadness in his chest. He feels a gentle squeeze on his shoulder from Dongwoon before the hand goes away.
“I’m not supposed to say this,” - Wufan darts his watery eyes to Howon as the nurse directs his vow to him - “but I will promise you, sir, that Doctor Park and I will do our best to make sure your brother lives, so that you won’t have to live through another regret...”
Wufan stares at the young nurse, his teary eyes expressing a mixture of overwhelmed gratitude and sadness. He cannot bring himself to speak, and so he nods and mouths a Thank you. Howon smiles softly, and announces to the crowd that they will be back as soon as they see that Jongdae is in stable condition. Jungmin gives a sad smile to the crowd, and the two doctors bow before heading back into the swinging doors.
Wufan watches the doors slow down to a standstill, and the mental images of his brother haunt his mind. Closing his eyes to shut off the memory, he bows his head as drops to his knees, lifting his hands to his closed eyes, the words spilling out of his mouth in wretched pleas. “J-J-Jongdae…p-please. Come back…Come back…”
The sobs and shuddering breaths of Wufan resound in the hallway as everyone bows their heads solemnly, as they wait once more for the buzzer.
-----------------------
I'm sorry... ;~;
Author: tikibuddy91
Characters: EXO and BAP, Beast (Kikwang, Dongwoon, and Doojoon), SHINee (Jinki), JR (JJProject), f(x) (Victoria and Sunyoung), INFINITE (Howon), and SS501 (Jungmin)
Word Count: 6100
Genre: College, Drama, AU
Rating: PG-13
Summary: College students; Blind, Deaf and Mute. Their lives deal with the ups and downs, like a roller coaster. They find relationships, and companionships. Life does not always have a happy ending, but they can try to get their own.
Author Note: Wufan and his brother sees Jongdae for the first time since the accident; Yixing hears what happened to Jongdae; A small crowd gathers in the hospital for news on Jongdae's condition...
Warning: Extreme language under stressful conditions, and Character Injury/Death, Emotional Wreckage of Characters. Tissues are a must.
8PM
“MAKE WAY FOR THE PATIENT, HE’S IN CRITICAL CONDITION!!”
Heads are turning to one end of the hallway as they hear hurried footsteps and shuffling as the doctors and nurses are quickly transporting the stretcher to the doors that lead to the operation rooms. Doojoon and Jinki have arrived together, watching the doctors rushing past them.
Minseok quickly grabs the chance to look at the patient and his eyes bulge at the sight of the familiar clothes. He stands back against the corridor wall, looking towards Wufan with despair.
Catching his brother’s glance, Wufan stands up quickly and runs over to the stretcher to look at the patient, the others following suit. What Wufan sees makes him feel like he is being punched in the gut, heart and mind.
Lying on the moving stretcher, Jongdae seems to be sleeping peacefully; yet his appearance is bloodied and ragged from the accident. He has a neck brace around his body. Wufan heaves a sob as he reaches for Jongdae’s hand, walking in time with the doctors and the stretcher. He hastily bombards his brother with questions in between snivels, “C-Ch-chenchen? Ar-are you awake? P-please, can you hear me? Li-Listen to me, are you a-awake, Chenchen? Oh god, please, please wake up, Chenchen. Che- I’M HIS BROTHER, DAMMIT. DON’T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME!!” Wufan roars at one of the doctors who continue to haughtily push him aside, as he hurries to keep in time with them.
“CHENCHEN, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!? DON’T YOU DIE ON ME. DON’T YOU FUCKING DIE ON ME, YOU HEAR ME?! I’VE LIVED THROUGH THE BIGGEST REGRET OF MY LIFE BECAUSE OF YOU, AND I DON’T WANNA LIVE THROUGH ANOTHER ONE, DAMMIT!! CHENCHEN.” Wufan is in hysterics as he holds onto Jongdae’s hand, stroking it with his thumb and then bringing it to his cheek. Wufan is sobbing, pounding his other fist on the empty space on the stretcher, begging Jongdae to wake up.
“CHENCHEN, DAMMIT, WAKE UP, PLEASE. P-please, J-Jongdae-yah, please. I-I’m be-begging you, don’t you dare l-l-leave me ag-again. I c-c-can’t bear to live without you. I-I love you t-too much, Chenchen. I don’t want to let you go.” Wufan looks down to his brother, still not responding to the touch or the shouts. Wufan moans pitifully as he continues to walk with the stretcher and the doctors, waiting to see for any reaction from his brother.
“Sir, you have to leave. We are about to enter a restricted section, and you are not allowed. I am deeply sorry about your brother, but we must quickly bring his condition to normal, if you will allow yourself to be moved out of the way, please.” One of the nurses across from Wufan has a gentle voice. Wufan looks up and he immediately recognizes him from ChaKeo Corner, one of the 7 guys whom Zitao hung around with.
“O-okay. I will, but p-please. Please. I beg of you, take care of my Jongdae, please?” Sniffling, Wufan cannot help but stress that request.
“We will do our best, don’t worry.”
Wufan feels a strong grip on his arm and he looks back to see a blurry Doojoon holding him back. Slowing to a stop, Wufan continues to sob as he reluctantly lets go of Jongdae’s hand; he sees it fall limply to the side before one of the doctors brings it back on the stretcher. The doctors and nurses finally push the stretcher through the doors with Jongdae on it, and then all that is left in front of the shocked crowd are the doors swinging in and out irregularly. Wufan stares with heaving gasps after his brother through the windows of the swinging doors.
“I…I…” Wufan is at loss for words as the image of bloodied Jongdae appears in his mind. “Jongdae…Jongdae… AHHHHHH!” Wufan lets out a heart-wrenching wail into the hallway as he collapses to his knees, his back hunched over and his head hanging in despair.
“J-Jongdae, you idiot! Why d-did you have to go b-by yourself without me in the rain?! You should’ve let me go with you!!” Wufan continues to sob, his hands brought up to his eyes, kneeling in front of the swinging doors as the others are watching him from a distance with teary eyes and solemn looks.
- - -
8PM
“Yixing-ah…come here.”
Hearing his name being called, Yixing looks up from his card, smiling; Zitao turns to Yongguk as well. His smile drops slowly when he spots Yongguk’s sad look as Yongguk beckons him closer. Yixing pulls away from Zitao, looking at him for any answers, but Zitao can only shake his head and shrug. Himchan does nothing but watch them with a worried expression, as he continues to stand with Jongup in his arms.
Yixing cannot help but feel something daunting filling up his body. It starts to make his heart race and then makes his ears tune out the crowd, his mind in a daze.
“Yixing-ah…there’s been an accident.” Yongguk’s eyes are brimming with tears.
Yixing’s eyebrow twitches in confusion, and Yixing gulps nervously, half wanting to hear the news and half not wanting to hear it.
“I'm so, so sorry, Yixing.” Yongguk looks at his friend with sad, wet eyes, before he pulls Yixing roughly into a hug.
Yixing is taken aback at the hug, still confused at what is going on. Is it my sister? Is it my parents?
Panic strikes Yixing in the face, and his face pales. …Is it Jongdae?
“Less than an hour ago, Jongdae was in a hit-and-run; he’s already taken to the ER and the-…they…I’m so sorry, Yixing,” Yongguk murmurs in Yixing’s ear as he holds Yixing in his arms, hearing him choke out a sob. He feels Yixing stumbling and struggling in his arms, as Yixing’s knees give in to his body weight.
“They say he’s in a fatal condition, and I don’t know how serious it is,” Yongguk murmurs in Yixing’s ear as the hushed whispers of “no, no, no, no, this isn’t happening” turn into a louder whispers of “You’re lying, Yongguk. You’re lying, this isn’t happening. You’re lying.”
Yixing means to hit Yongguk, but the latter has his arms around Yixing’s body, trapping them to his sides. Yixing’s attempts at hitting Yongguk have failed, and his struggle with Yongguk slowly attracts attention from the rest of his friends, as Daehyun, Luhan, Zitao, Himchan and Kyungsoo are the first people to catch them. Soon after, their boyfriends, Junhong, and JR catch on, and the whole group is watching, some with confused looks, some with shocked looks.
Noticing this, Yongguk gently shushes Yixing, taking him outside of the center to avoid attention. Yixing tries his best to keep walking with the help of Yongguk, but fails, so Yongguk ends up half-leading him, half-dragging him. Zitao and Himchan look at each other, wondering what exactly Yongguk said that made Yixing break down and accuse him of lying.
“Hyung, what’s wrong with Yixing-hyung?” Himchan feels Jongup’s head shifting near his cheek.
“I…I don’t know. But I have to take you guys home, except for Luhan and Zitao…I don’t think we’re going to Jongdae’s place tonight.” Himchan bites on his bottom lip in worry.
- - -
8:10PM
A chilly wind, due to the moisture of the cold rain, surrounds the arts center…
Yongguk and Yixing are outside the center, standing under the overhang as Yixing continues to sob, his voice mumbling “Zhongda, Zhongda, why? Why, Zhongda?” as Yongguk hugs him.
“That was Joonmyeon on the phone, Wufan’s not handling it well either, but Minseok’s calling their parents. Apparently, Dongwoon and Kikwang saw the accident and thank god they were nearby, Yixing. Jongdae was unconscious after the impact, suffering from a major concussion. H-He…He almost d-di-”
“ZHONGDA, DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE ME. WE MADE A PROMISE.” Screaming to the rain, Yixing lets out a strangled wail as he shakes his head in anguish. He struggles in Yongguk’s embrace, half-wanting to get out, half-wanting the comfort. A few neighboring people look to the source of the cries, confused at the outburst. Some have been quietly watching with pity.
Trying to speak over Yixing’s whimpering sobs, Yongguk tries to soothe the young man in his arms. “Yixing, shh, it’s okay, it’ll be okay. The doctors managed to revive him back, and so far, he’s hanging on to survive. He’s a fighter, Yixing.” Yongguk feels a little guilty giving Yixing a little bit of false hope, though he hopes that it would be true. Yongguk glances around their surroundings and tries to smile at the people, assuring that everything is okay. “You just have to remember that, Jongdae’s a fighter. Jongdae’s in good hands, and he needs our help to fight for his life. Can you do that for me, Yixing?”
Yongguk continues to hold the heaving and whimpering Yixing in his arms. “I know how hard it is for you right now, and it’s hard for me too. It’s hard for me to see you like this, especially after an amazing performance you delivered tonight. The others don’t know yet, and I can’t tell them tonight, except Luhan and Zitao. But we need to be strong for Jongdae. Listen,” he holds the sides of Yixing’s face and pulls him away from the hug to make Yixing look at him. He can hear Yixing sniffling as he observes Yixing’s condition; the bloodshot eyes, his lips trembling, and the tear streaks on Yixing’s cheeks. Yongguk feels his heart breaking at the sight, and he gulps before he informs Yixing the plan for tonight.
“I will take you, Zitao and Luhan to the hospital. Jongdae’s sister is on her way. I don’t know about their parents but hopefully they will be on their way. Let’s go back inside when you’re done, we don’t want to attract the others’ attention. I’m so sorry you had to hear this tonight; I really am. Just know that we’re here for you; I’m here for you, Yixing-ah.” When the weeping Yixing can only respond with a nod, Yongguk brings Yixing to his chest once again, letting him cry some more.
- - -
8:20PM
Wufan slowly stands up from the floor, and he gets slightly dizzy from the breakdown. Doojoon, Jinki and Joonmyeon react quickly to help him, but they cannot assist him in time, when Wufan stumbles to the wall shoulder-on. Wufan then turns, his back resting against the wall. A few moments pass in silence before there is a sudden BAM.
Everyone is startled by the noise, looking at Wufan in shock, as he has just slammed his fist against the wall. Wufan is no longer crying, but he is still teary-eyed, biting on his bottom lip. He turns around to face the wall, so no one can see him breaking down, and he lets out a loud grunt when he slams his fist against the wall for the second time that night. A mixture of shocked “Wufan-ah!”s and serious “Yah, stop it”s are heard from the group.
Not listening to the group, Wufan keeps punching the wall a few more times out of anguish when Joonmyeon intercedes. Joonmyeon grabs Wufan’s wrists and tries to pull him away from the wall. Wufan lets out a despairing moan of pain, struggling to break free, wanting to lurch himself at the wall. Joonmyeon then moves around to stand in front of Wufan, and wraps his arms around Wufan’s chest tightly, trapping Yifan’s arms in the process.
“Wufan-hyung, you need to stop.” Joonmyeon orders, ignoring Wufan’s struggles and low grunts. “You’re already in enough pain because of your brother. Stop that, okay? Stop hurting yourself more than you already are.” Wufan tries to shrug him off, but Joonmyeon remains unmoved, maintaining his footing and keeping Wufan still.
“Don’t put yourself in his shoes, just put yourself together. We’re in a hospital; Jong-”, Joonmyeon’s throat hitches from the memory of seeing his friend on a stretcher, “…Jongdae is in good hands.”
At that line, Wufan lets out a strangled noise, a mixture of a gasp and a sob. He gives up struggling his way out of Joonmyeon’s hold, yielding to bury his face on Joonmyeon’s hair and letting the tears fall. He then wraps his arms around Joonmyeon, his hands clutching at the back of Joonmyeon’s jacket.
“I want my Jongdae back, J-Joonmyeon. I-I need him back. He can’t leave me, not again. I won’t allow it. I can’t live without him, Joonmyeon. I just can’t.” Wufan mumbles loudly in Joonmyeon’s hair, as Joonmyeon starts to sway with Wufan, hoping it will soothe him down more. Tears fall from Joonmyeon’s eyes when he hears Wufan’s wretched pleas.
The others watch the guys with pity and awe, at both Wufan’s capacity to have such compassion for his brother to the point where he vowed out loud twice that he could not bear to live a life without Jongdae, and at Joonmyeon’s ability to stand his ground and comfort him, like a father.
Tick…tock…tick…tock…
The tick-tock of the clock joins the weeping as Wufan and the others wait in the hallway. Wrapped in a tight embrace in Joonmyeon’s arms, Wufan is crying on Joonmyeon’s head, chanting his brother’s name.
- - -
8:30PM
“Jinki-yah! Doojoon-ah!” Everyone except for Wufan turn to the shout.
Qian is hurriedly walking down the corridor with Sunyoung, soothing her as Sunyoung tries to hold back her tears.
Bursting into tears, Sunyoung runs to Wufan, as Joonmyeon lets go of Wufan, stepping aside to let her hug her brother. Wufan tries to regain his composure but he falls apart in his sister’s arms. She knows how close Wufan is with Jongdae; everyone who knows Jongdae are usually close with him, but Wufan and Jongdae have a special connection, a bond that runs deep, and she knows the reason why. She leads him to sit on the floor, their backs against the wall, and hugs her brother’s side. Wufan wraps one arm around her shoulders and continues to weep on her hair, half-hugging her. Deep inside, Wufan is thankful for his sister to be there for him.
The others fill Qian in on what she and Sunyoung have missed, on the general overlook of what Jongdae is going through at the moment, and they decide not to tell Sunyoung the details yet. Qian looks to Wufan and Sunyoung with sad eyes, her heart broken at the sight. She knows what it is like to see a loved one look so broken and in such a terrible condition, but she was lucky to have Zitao be walking and moving in her memory, barely escaping physical violence; Jongdae was not.
8:50PM
Tick…tock… Seconds feel like minutes…
Tick…tock… Minutes feel like hours…
Wufan’s memory comes back again like a creeping wraith…
- - - -
Minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like days passed.
Wufan was sitting at the waiting room, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. Their mother sat next to him, holding his hand. Sunyoung was sitting next to their mother, watching with curious eyes at her second eldest brother. “Wupan-oppa…will Jonggie-oppa be okay?” Sunyoung asked her brother. After getting no response, she looked to their mother with wide eyes, “Umma?” Their mother could stare at her youngest and only daughter with sad eyes, “I don’t know…all we can do is hope and pray, Sunyoung-ah.”
Just then, the father and Minseok had arrived to the hospital, and they were looking frantic, walking up to their family members. After some vague explanation from the mother, the men felt a bit relieved but would not dare to keep their hopes up. They had to brace themselves for any news, whether good or bad. Just then, a bell rang, signaling that the doctors were coming out of the emergency room with news.
The doctors walked up to the family, with mixed emotions. They all looked sad, but there was a trace of relief on each face. Wufan did not know what to feel, confused by the display of mixed emotions. The good news was that Jongdae was alive and awake, but his breathing was labored because there were two broken ribs on his left side, according to an X-ray scan; some bruises on his chest and bumps on his head from the impacts with the branches; and some minor scratches and cuts on his legs and arms. The family could see him one at a time tonight if they wished to. The most solemn news was that even though Jongdae managed to miraculously survive the fall, his eyesight was deteriorating quickly. One of his eyes was permanently damaged and the other had some internal bleeding, and it was possible that he may lose all eyesight within the next few hours; there was nothing that the doctors could do to give him back his sight.
The family had been relieved at first with the good news, but looked devastated when they heard the bad news. The mother started weeping and her husband gathered her in his arms to console her.
Wufan stood there in shock, all air gushed out of him as if he was punched in the stomach. He could not feel Minseok’s hand resting on his shoulder, gripping slightly. His mind in a numb state, Wufan was led to his brother’s room by one of the nurses, consoling him with a pat on his arm. He blinked when they reached the door; he had no idea how he got there. Wufan looked through the small window in the door and saw Jongdae lying on the patient bed. Jongdae, his brother with a heavy bandage wrapped around his head, covering his eyes. His Jongdae.
- - - -
“Where’s Zhongda? Is he alright??”
The voice of Yixing snaps Wufan out of his thoughts and gathers everyone’s attention to the hallway as they see Yixing running and stumbling, shouting for Jongdae’s condition. Yongguk, Zitao and Luhan are trailing behind.
Minseok goes to Yixing, holding him close, whispering to him that Jongdae has been taken to the ER and he looks pretty bad. Yixing falls apart, sinking to his knees, and Minseok tries to hold onto Yixing by the arm. Kikwang is watching him, his eyes tired due to his earlier crying, and feels another round of tears when he hears Yixing’s pitiful sobs. He looks away, and feels Dongwoon cradling his head with his arm, as he clasps one of his hands with Dongwoon’s free hand.
Yongguk goes to Joonmyeon and explains the situation. “Himchan has already taken most of the guys back home. Daehyun and Kyungsoo are heading to Kyungsoo’s place. They all don’t know yet what happened, they only saw Yixing breaking down. I told them that they all needed to get some rest; it had been a long day for most of them; no point for them to deal with this ordeal after their dance auditions tonight. They do not need to know this yet.
“Luhan and Zitao know, I told them on the way here. They took it okay; Zitao was a little more emotional than Luhan, though not as bad as Yixing, since he and Jongdae seemed to be good friends. Luhan was comforting his brother, who was just hysterical in the car. Ah, excuse me.” There is a sudden noise of a ringtone from Yongguk’s cell phone in the pocket of his jacket; Yongguk checks it and finds a text message.
“Oh, that was Daehyun. He just texted me that Bora and Hyojung are at Kyungsoo’s sisters’ apartment next door.” Joonmyeon nods.
“Okay; I’ve not yet told Chanyeol and Baekhyun because they’re already at their date and I don’t want to ruin their night just yet, but as soon as we hear from the doctors about Jongdae’s condition, I’ll let them know,” Joonmyeon says sadly.
Zitao watches Wufan from a distance, unsure whether he can go up to him or not. He remembers that Wufan had been avoiding him, and ever since he arrived at the hospital, Wufan has not laid one glance at him. Luhan comes up to Zitao and links his arm with him, pulling him to sit next to Yixing who is still seated on the floor, sniffling.
“Yixing took it pretty hard, but man, Wufan’s taking it even worse than he did,” Yongguk observes as he stands next to Doojoon, Jinki, Joonmyeon, and Qian.
“You should’ve seen him earlier, it was just heart-breaking.” Doojoon mutters. “We all saw Jongdae on the stretcher with a group of doctors and nurses, and Wufan just went up and walked with them, sobbing his heart out. Jongdae looked pretty bad, blood and bruises, and even his body…there were braces…” Doojoon gulps, feeling emotions stuck in his throat. “It’s amazing that he survived an impact from the side of a car. I had to restrain Wufan from going further past those doors” - Doojoon points to the doors with his thumb - “and Wufan just lost it there, down on his knees on the floor.”
Yongguk shakes his head sadly at the news. “Jongdae’s quite the person that everyone, myself including, cannot help but be close with. It seems that there are a few people that broke the boundaries between them and Jongdae, being so emotionally close, and sometimes physically close, like Yixing and Wufan. Hearing that something like this happened to Jongdae, these two showed a lot more raw emotions than any of us would show.” The others nod in agreement, as they watch the said people with sympathetic eyes.
“Minseok-sshi, what happened to Jongdae that made Wufan say that? Something like ‘Because of you, I’ve lived through one biggest regret of my life, and I don’t want to live through another one now? What did Jongdae do that Wufan regretted doing before?” Dongwoon asks.
“Ah…the regret Wufan-oppa has…was when Jongdae-oppa lost his sight.” Sunyoung replies, as everyone, except for Minseok and Wufan, perk up their ears at the interesting comment. Wufan stares blankly into space, his eyes red and puffy from the tears.
“It was back in our hometown near the seaport village when I was with umma in the living room, and Wufan-oppa was watching Jonggie-oppa climb the tree. The sky had started to look as if it was to rain, and we heard Wufan tell Jongdae to be careful. Umma got worried and told Wufan to tell Jongdae to get back down, but Wufan assured her that it would be fine, he had his eyes on him anyway.”
Wufan’s light sobs interrupts Sunyoung’s speech, and the crowd looks to Wufan. “I shouldn’t have said that,” Wufan mumbles to himself as he wipes the tears from his eyes. “It didn’t seem like it was a big deal and I thought it was gonna be a little shower.” Sunyoung wraps her arms around Wufan’s clothed bicep, feeling sympathetic.
“But the lightning and thunder came, and in a few seconds, there was this loud crack, snap, and then it was all so surreal. Just like that, the tree started to collapse, and there was no sign of Jongdae. I ran to the tree, screaming, looking for him, and then I finally found him. What I saw, it broke my heart. He was just a little kid back then, and to be holding on a branch, with all…these…bruises” - Wufan gives a gasp, feeling like these three words are causing him pain to even say it, as the recent memory plays in his mind - “…I had to be strong. I told him to let go and fall because I would be right there to catch him.” Wufan gulps, staring at the floor.
Sunyoung looks at her brother with pity, before looking back at the small crowd, their shock evident on their faces. She sees Yixing seated on the floor as well, his back against the wall, looking at her with sad, puffy eyes. She picks up from where Wufan left off.
“When they came in, we saw blood from Jongdae’s eyes. I thought it was strange, but later, I found out bleeding in or from the eyes could lead to blindness. We rode with Jonggie-oppa to the hospital; Minseok-oppa and appa had not yet returned from fishing. It wasn’t until later that they showed up at the hospital, as we were waiting for the doctors to tell us about Jongdae-oppa’s condition. Umma had called the fishing wharf with the landline phone at home before the ambulance came by.”
Minseok nods gently, and speaks up. “Yeah, we didn’t get the message until later that afternoon, when the fishing boat station contacted us through the walkie-talkies that there was a serious emergency and that one of our family members was in the hospital. We immediately headed back to shore and quickly drove to the hospital. When we got there, we saw Umma, Wufan, and Sunyoung and I was honestly scared. Scared that I might have lost our brother then.
“But we waited and waited, until finally, the doctors came out. They told us that Jongdae was so lucky to survive a fall like that, but there had been some damages, temporary and permanent, that Jongdae had to bear with for the rest of his life. The permanent damage was in his eyes, and that’s how he became blind; and Wufan felt terrible about it.” He looks to his brother with a sad half-smile.
Sunyoung continues. “Since that day, Wufan-oppa vowed to never leave Jonggie-oppa’s side, because he felt it was enough punishment for him to know that Jongdae lost his sight under his watch…but on a light note, he also felt it was his responsibility to take care of his brother, and it was a way for him to be closer to Jongdae, to be the over-protective brother.” Sunyoung nudges her brother gently with a smile.
- - -
9:20PM
Time passes slowly for the group, anxiously waiting to hear for the buzzer sound from the ER. It has been over an hour since Wufan and the others, except for the recent arrivals, had last seen Jongdae. Twice, Wufan sneaks a glance at the crowd and to his own surprise, he finds himself staring at Zitao. When Zitao returns the eye contact both times, Wufan glances away.
While everyone is waiting in silence, no one makes a move, nor does anyone whisper. They either are lost in their thoughts or watching each other with sad looks, the shock of Jongdae’s accident still having a profound effect on them.
- - - -
Wufan swallowed the lump in his throat and entered the room, trying not to make any sudden noise that might startle his brother. Once he got his voice back, he braced himself to walk up to the chair without breaking down, with Jongdae resting in his sight. He heard a faint beeping sound but could not make out what it was, until he reached the chair and sat down. He looked to his right and saw that it was coming from the vital signs monitor hanging on the pole next to the bed. He also noticed an IV drip on the other side as well. He called to Jongdae softly by the nickname only he used for him.
“Chenchen?” Jongdae’s ears perked up at the sound of his nickname and the familiar voice of his hyung.
“W-Wufan-ge, is that y-you?” Jongdae’s voice was strained but the need for his older brother was there, accompanied with his hand quickly reaching out front to wherever he thought his brother was standing. Wufan heard beeping increasing from the machine, and noticed that Jongdae’s heart rate was increasing. At this, Wufan dropped his defenses and clasped his hand with Jongdae’s, and he could tell Jongdae visibly relaxed at the touch, the beeping sound slowing down to its normal rate. He brought Jongdae’s hand to his lips, kissing it, and to his cheek as he stared at Jongdae.
“I…I’m s-so…so…s-s-sorry, Chenchen-ah. I should’ve known better…” Wufan felt the tears falling, landing on the back of Jongdae’s hand. “It’s all my fault, Jongdae-yah…It’s all gege’s fault.”
Wufan closed his eyes, not wanting to see Jongdae in this condition, and he heard Jongdae weeping. “I can’t see anymore, gege. I c-can’t. I can’t even see y-you. I miss seeing your face, gege. I m-miss seeing umma and appa, our fami-“ Jongdae’s voice cracked on the last word before it collapsed to a sob, his shoulders shaking. Wufan wept as he brought himself closer to kiss Jongdae’s forehead, his free hand caressing the top of Jongdae’s head. “It will be okay, Jongdae-yah…It’s okay. I will be your eyes, I will watch out for you.”
- - - -
“Someone’s coming…or two,” Qian speaks up, startling everyone and snapping Wufan out of his flashback. They all hold their breaths as they see a doctor and a nurse come out through the doors. The unfamiliar, tall doctor has a long face yet it was quite charming to look at, and very charismatic. However, as for the shorter nurse, Wufan recognizes him from that night at ChaKeo Corner and from the earlier run in the hallway.
“Hello, I’m sorry to keep you all waiting. Are you all close to Lee Jongdae-sshi?” The long-faced doctor asks the crowd. They nod.
“We’re his family,” Minseok, Wufan and Sunyoung raise their hands as they speak at the same time.
“Actually, hyung, I’ve met most of them at Kim Jinki-hyungnim’s café,” the shorter male explains to the taller doctor as he extends his hand to indicate Jinki. “My hyungs often perform there. My name is Lee Howon,” he introduces himself with a slight bow.
“And my name is Park Jungmin,” the taller doctor greets with a bow as well.
“H-how’s Zhongda, Doctor Park?” Yixing asks, a soft voice yet audible enough to be heard, his knees drawn up to his chest as he hugs them.
“Jongdae-sshi is still in critical condition,” Doctor Park says sadly, and everyone grimace. Wufan leans his head back against the wall, closing his eyes as he wills the tears to stop. Yixing lowers his head to his knees. “There was some external bleeding on his head, but there could be possible internal bleeding in his body. Luckily his clothes spared him from external injures, but I cannot say if it’s the same for the internal injuries. When we saw his x-ray pictures, we noticed that some of his ribs seemed to have previously been broken and healed. With the human body, suffering another violent impact increases the chances for his bones breaking again. Can you tell us what happened with that?”
“…Jongdae fell from a tree that was struck by lightning. He was ten years old when it happened, and he…survived,” Minseok explains. “But with a couple of broken ribs and bruises, and minor cuts.”
“Ah…well, Jongdae-sshi has two rib bones that nearly punctured his lung. He passed out due to shortness of breath, because his ribs are limiting his lungs’ capacity to expand. When you guys saw him earlier tonight in here, not only did he pass out, but also his heart was going under cardiac arrest. We had to transfer him to one of the rooms back there to defib hi-”
“JUST GET HIM BACK ALIVE, DAMMIT.” Wufan grimaces as he feels the heaving sobs in his throat about to come.
Everyone and the two hospital staff members recoil at the loudness of Wufan’s voice, and Wufan breaks down once again, “G-God, please. G-give him one more chance to live, pleasepleasepleaseplease.” Wufan huddles to a ball, whimpering and rocking himself. Sunyoung’s tears are splashing on the floor as she continues to console her brother.
Howon says gently, “There’s one thing we need to do. And it has to be with the parents’, guardian’s or eldest sibling’s consent…”
All eyes are looking between Minseok and the younger nurse, nervous to hear what will come next because of the word ‘eldest’.
“W-we…almost lost him again” - and Wufan could let out a strangled gasp - “but we managed to revive him.
“The thing is…we need to do a CAT scan on him to check if he has a concussion and or other internal bleeding. If we do see signs of them…” Howon looks to Wufan sadly, “We need to operate on him.”
“O-operate on him how, Nurse?” Minseok asks.
“Drill a small hole through Jongdae’s head to drain the excessive bleeding… and also surgery…Goodness…” Dongwoon murmurs softly, and Wufan is quick to pick that up.
“WAIT WHAT?!” He immediately stands up, facing Dongwoon with an angry look on his face. “ARE YOU LYING TO ME?” Dongwoon looks shocked and manages to shake his head, about to explain that he was studying medicine but he had to take a break, but Wufan has already whirled around to look at Howon and Doctor Park, looking upset.
“YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU’RE GONNA DRILL A FREAKING HOLE ON MY BROTHER’S HEAD AND LET HIM DIE?!”
A little miffed at Wufan’s outburst, Howon keeps his cool and explains to him calmly, “Your brother will not die from a small hole drilled into his head. It is only to drain the excessive bleeding if we do see such signs of extradural hemorrhage in the CAT Scan. But in order for that to happen, I need to have your consent to allow us to have a CAT scan.”
“The hell I would! I don’t want my brother to be drilled like some lumber in the woodshop!”
Doctor Park intervenes and explains to Wufan, “This is not some lumberyard, Wufan-sshi, and I do understand how you’re feeling. But this is a hospital, and we’re careful with our patients in operation rooms. But again, it won’t happen if we don’t have your consent. I do strongly suggest that we have your consent to perform a CAT scan on him so we can see if there are internal damages inside his body.”
“You’regonnafreakingdrillaholeinmybrother’shead…a hole! I-I…I can’t…” Wufan is in tears. Dongwoon goes to him and places a hand on his shoulder.
“Wufan-sshi, it’ll be okay. It’s a controlled method, and the doctors know what they are doing. A CAT scan is like an X-ray but more detailed. It’s not the drilling operation part. That’s another method used only for draining excessive bleeding, if the CAT Scan shows any signs of it. Your brother will not be able to feel the pain anyway. It won’t hurt him, not one bit. What may hurt him is the possible excessive bleeding that his brain might have.”
Wufan looks at him and at Minseok, who is lost in his thoughts as he stares at the floor. After a brief moment, Minseok lifts his eyes up to meet with Howon’s.
“Y-You have my consent; I…I’m his oldest brother.” There is a slight tear falling from one of his eyes, before Minseok wipes it off hastily. He lets out a shaky breath. “Do what you need to do to get him back, please.”
Sunyoung lifts her hands to cover her face, and her shoulders start to shake, as whimpers and restraining sobs emit from her throat. Qian immediately goes to her, sitting down and wrapping her arms around her. Wufan peers over to his sister and he feels a pang of sadness in his chest. He feels a gentle squeeze on his shoulder from Dongwoon before the hand goes away.
“I’m not supposed to say this,” - Wufan darts his watery eyes to Howon as the nurse directs his vow to him - “but I will promise you, sir, that Doctor Park and I will do our best to make sure your brother lives, so that you won’t have to live through another regret...”
Wufan stares at the young nurse, his teary eyes expressing a mixture of overwhelmed gratitude and sadness. He cannot bring himself to speak, and so he nods and mouths a Thank you. Howon smiles softly, and announces to the crowd that they will be back as soon as they see that Jongdae is in stable condition. Jungmin gives a sad smile to the crowd, and the two doctors bow before heading back into the swinging doors.
Wufan watches the doors slow down to a standstill, and the mental images of his brother haunt his mind. Closing his eyes to shut off the memory, he bows his head as drops to his knees, lifting his hands to his closed eyes, the words spilling out of his mouth in wretched pleas. “J-J-Jongdae…p-please. Come back…Come back…”
The sobs and shuddering breaths of Wufan resound in the hallway as everyone bows their heads solemnly, as they wait once more for the buzzer.
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I'm sorry... ;~;