GAAAAAARRRGGHHH!!!
A STINK BUG JUST TELEPORTED INTO MY SHOWER AND CRAWLED UP ONTO MY BACK WHILE I WAS WASHING MY FEET.
"Teleported," you say? "That's impossible," you say? Or perhaps, "isn't it more likely that the little EVIL BASTARD INSECT just CRAWLED up onto you, as bugs are prone to do?"
NO.
How do I know?
BECAUSE I CLEANED MY GODDAMN SHOWER TODAY AS IT HAS NEVER BEEN CLEANED BEFORE. There was NO chance that a stink bug THAT HUGE could've escaped my attention on the CREAM COLORED TILE as I was scrubbing the grout from top to bottom. Also, it sure as hell wasn't there when I sat down to clean my feet with my back to the wall, but when I got up, IT WAS RIGHT THERE. RIGHT AFTER I sent a stream of water down my back 'cause something was tickling me--something that I THOUGHT was a drop of water.
Oh, and here's the really great part: Just as I was thinking to myself, "Ugh, man, wouldn't it be awful if I were to have a stink bug crawling on me in the shower?" I turn around, and THERE IT FUCKING IS.
Minute-long psychic powers fill MEL WITH RAGE AGAINST THE INSECT KINGDOM.
Also, to top it off, not only does my nice clean shower now smell like someone vomitted up a bucketload of half-digested air fresheners, but as we speak, I have a huge-ass bruise spreading across my foot from when I slipped and almost fell as I was BANISHING THE BUGGER TO ITS RIGHTFUL RESTING PLACE (that is to say, a very wet tissue cocoon inside the trash can).
GAH! I cannot WAIT to get out of the god damn inaka!!! >:|
"Teleported," you say? "That's impossible," you say? Or perhaps, "isn't it more likely that the little EVIL BASTARD INSECT just CRAWLED up onto you, as bugs are prone to do?"
NO.
How do I know?
BECAUSE I CLEANED MY GODDAMN SHOWER TODAY AS IT HAS NEVER BEEN CLEANED BEFORE. There was NO chance that a stink bug THAT HUGE could've escaped my attention on the CREAM COLORED TILE as I was scrubbing the grout from top to bottom. Also, it sure as hell wasn't there when I sat down to clean my feet with my back to the wall, but when I got up, IT WAS RIGHT THERE. RIGHT AFTER I sent a stream of water down my back 'cause something was tickling me--something that I THOUGHT was a drop of water.
Oh, and here's the really great part: Just as I was thinking to myself, "Ugh, man, wouldn't it be awful if I were to have a stink bug crawling on me in the shower?" I turn around, and THERE IT FUCKING IS.
Minute-long psychic powers fill MEL WITH RAGE AGAINST THE INSECT KINGDOM.
Also, to top it off, not only does my nice clean shower now smell like someone vomitted up a bucketload of half-digested air fresheners, but as we speak, I have a huge-ass bruise spreading across my foot from when I slipped and almost fell as I was BANISHING THE BUGGER TO ITS RIGHTFUL RESTING PLACE (that is to say, a very wet tissue cocoon inside the trash can).
GAH! I cannot WAIT to get out of the god damn inaka!!! >:|