poem: Lessons

[tigriswolf]

Title: Lessons
Written: February 2016

i'll be your monster
baby
just like you created me to be
and when i'm tearing it all down
don't blame me
remember this is what you wanted
i'm just doing as you say

i won't be sorry

i tried to run away
to walk and to fly
i tried to swim away
instead i drowned
and the water carried me back
i washed up on the shore
legs and wings long torn
i washed up on the shore
just in time for sunrise
and you gathered me up
pieced me back together

you broke me instead
glued me all wrong

i'll be your monster
baby
it's all i know how to be

you break me
you are breaking me
you will be breaking me
you have broken me
you broke me

every moment i breathe
i breathe because you let me
i think i once knew that was wrong
you've broken me so many times
i can't remember how it felt to be whole

shattered
tattered
scattered
spread across the bed
discarded on the floor
you take and take and take
i know it wasn't always this way

you can be so gentle

you don't like it when i shout
you don't like it when i pull away
you don't mind my tears though
you don't mind my bruises
you wipe away the blood so gently

you piece me back together
when you're finished breaking me

you kiss me when i'm frightened
you ignore me when i'm angry

i'm your monster
baby
don't you like what you've made?

i’m your monster
baby
don’t you want to me break you?

it’s not like i know anything else
it’s not like you’re owed anything less

i’ll light the fire
baby
burn everything down
i’ll light the fire
baby
this is my moment of reclamation
because i was someone before your touch
and i’m gonna be that someone again

i don’t want to be your monster
baby

this is what you made
but I’ll make myself anew
and that’ll be the last lesson i learn from you