the beauty of fear
Click to view"Love Letter to Fanny Brawne"
John Keats
i have no limits now to my love.
i have been astonished that men
could die martyrs for religion--
love is my religion
i could die for you.
my creed is love & you are its only tenet.
my love has made me selfish.
i cannot exist without you.
i am forgetful of everything
but seeing you again.
my life seems to stop there;
i see no further. you have absorb'd me.
you have ravish'd me away
by a power i cannot resist;
& yet i could resist till i saw you;
& ever since i have seen you i have
endeavored often to reason against
the reasons of my love.
i can do that no more--
the pain would be too great.
my love is selfish.
i cannot breathe without you.
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Is this poem beautiful? Or scary?
I am surrounded by so much love, so much desire, I feel so confident, so sure of things, so ... selfish. Is this poem really a good place to be in life? This in love that you cannot live without it? That it is the reason? That you struggle inside of it just to stay sane?
Psyche has shown me to love with an open heart. To forgive always. To connect by putting love first. I have an abundance of love. Yet is the fraility it has left me with conductive to life? Am I setting myself up to fall hard into the arms of despair if just one piece of this love dies? Am I prepared for the huge crush of failure this could bring?
I sit in the center of this tangle of love all around me and I am thankful that my biggest worry in life is how to love back enough. How to give back enough love that all the love I receive is returned three fold to the world. Yet it is painful in this center, witnessing the dissapointment, frustration and confusion I cause others via love.
All this love I have, receiving and giving, makes me so happy. I have become so selfish of this love, for to be without it is to liken myself without breath.
I have put myself inside all these arms and here is where I stay. As Keats states above,
"... i have
endeavored often to reason against
the reasons of my love.
i can do that no more--
the pain would be too great.
my love is selfish.
I cannot breathe without it."
~TigressSky~