i dunno
ok so its 3 in the morning and im supposed to be sleepiing cuz i have to get up and go look for a second job. i need a day job. i cant sleep all day anymore. its too much and it takes too much out of me. i want a normal life not a vampires. anyways i guess im stuck with being single again cuz i cant deal with the waiting for a guy that hurt me anymore. its too much heart break. ive tried to give all i can give for almost 4 years and i have nothing more to give than my love and i have and undiing, unconditional love for him. hes the only man i can see getting married to, having a family and growing old with cuz hes the only one ive met so far that cares about kids and wants them. i just know hes gonna be the most perfect dad and husband to the woman hes with which i hope is me. but this whole sex thing bothers me cuz i just hope that because he didnt do it or hasnt yet that he can do it in the future cuz if thats the case he can just forget that he ever met me or fell in love with me cuz i am not going to put up with that shit. but i have to go call him now so im going to go ~peace~