i know i'll fall for you over again
it's so strange sometimes when you've thought about how something will be so much, you've dreamt about it and you worry and overanalyse it and then... it turns out nothing like you imagine. You try and second guess how you will feel and what you'll say and then... you didn't count on how easy it'd be.
the last time i saw him he barely even looked like him, his eyes were dead and all his shine had gone. he opened the door on friday night and the boy i knew a month was stood there shining at me. i guess the talking was something that had to be done rather than something that decided anything, it'd already been decided the moment he opened the door. and i felt no hurt, no anger, just like the last 2/3 weeks had never happened, at least not to us.
the one thing i needed was an apology and for him to be sure about his decision. he said he'd never have text me if he wasn't sure. he said he hadn't expected me to just leave and not try and change his mind. he said he was overwhelmed at the time and didn't understand his feelings and the most stupid and non-sensical thing he'd ever done was breaking up with me. he said he couldn't explain what he did and that he thought it was because he's never been in a serious grown-up relationship, never mind a long-distance one that exaggerates every feeling. he said a lot of very cute things that made my heart glad. and when we finally kissed it was like drinking water after walking across a desert. pf.
i can't believe how easy it was to forgive him. it was just so immediately comfortable again, even when we were talking about it all. you probably think i'm stupid and i've always thought badly of people who split up and get back together, but it feels stronger now, like he had to go through that to know exactly how very much it meant to him.
i know now that i have to get home, i don't know how but i know that i must.
the last time i saw him he barely even looked like him, his eyes were dead and all his shine had gone. he opened the door on friday night and the boy i knew a month was stood there shining at me. i guess the talking was something that had to be done rather than something that decided anything, it'd already been decided the moment he opened the door. and i felt no hurt, no anger, just like the last 2/3 weeks had never happened, at least not to us.
the one thing i needed was an apology and for him to be sure about his decision. he said he'd never have text me if he wasn't sure. he said he hadn't expected me to just leave and not try and change his mind. he said he was overwhelmed at the time and didn't understand his feelings and the most stupid and non-sensical thing he'd ever done was breaking up with me. he said he couldn't explain what he did and that he thought it was because he's never been in a serious grown-up relationship, never mind a long-distance one that exaggerates every feeling. he said a lot of very cute things that made my heart glad. and when we finally kissed it was like drinking water after walking across a desert. pf.
i can't believe how easy it was to forgive him. it was just so immediately comfortable again, even when we were talking about it all. you probably think i'm stupid and i've always thought badly of people who split up and get back together, but it feels stronger now, like he had to go through that to know exactly how very much it meant to him.
i know now that i have to get home, i don't know how but i know that i must.