I Have Sad News To Share
Hi Everyone.
I wish this first post in far too long was not this, but sadly...
My Dad passed away almost a week and a half ago, on Thursday, January 25th. The Funeral was a week ago, last Tuesday, and both Mom and I have felt like we've been in a whirl ever since. I also now know I can do anything, because I both wrote and gave Dad's Eulogy. I wasn't sure at first I was going to be able to, but once I started reading what I'd written, my Broadcast Journalism training kicked in and took over thankfully and I was able to do it.
So many told me afterwards, I did my Dad proud and they were so impressed w/what I'd written. I'm still confused over that a bit because, for one thing, it's no secret that I write things. Or so I thought. The other thing is I wrote from my Heart. When you write from that, you can never go wrong in my experience IMO.
I thought some of you might like to see what I said about my Dad and also what he looked like after all these years. If you go to www.simpsonfuneralhome.com
Then from there look at Recent Services and click on the link for Morley Campbell. That will take you to his Obituary and everything else.
Here is his Eulogy...
When I started thinking about what I wanted to say about my Dad today, two quotes from favourite movies of mine suddenly flashed through my mind. The first one comes from The Lord of the Rings : The Fellowship of the Ring. Frodo is telling Gandalf how he wished the Ring and everything that had happened so far to The Fellowship had never happened. Part of Gandalf’s reply to Frodo is…
That is not for us to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.
My Dad did not just decide how to use the gift of time given him by the Grace of God. As we all know, he used it very well indeed.
If you needed help, my Dad would do whatever he could for you if it was within his power to help. From working in the garden of a friend or relative when they were unable to keep things up for whatever reason, to cleaning up and putting Band Aid’s on yet *another* skinned knee from yet *another* fall from a bike, to figuring out a way for a young man, who considers my Parents as his “Second Parents” when his Family lived across from us in McCrea Heights, to be able to eventually buy the houses I was raised in and to bring his own Family “home” is barely scratching the surface of the numerous ways Dad used the time he was given very wisely indeed.
The other quote that came to me is from The Wizard of Oz. As the Tin Man is receiving his heart from the Wizard, he’s told…
A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.
As I look out among all of the Family and Friends gathered here together to celebrate my Dad’s life today, it is very obvious he was very much loved. He was so easy to love though. As so many here have said over the last few days, Dad loved people and hearing their stories, but it wasn’t only that, Dad just radiated kindness, joy and also respect. Before even a word was said, you just *knew* you were “safe” with him. I’ve often wondered if that was part of the reason kids were so drawn to Dad, because kids, they *know* when you’re one of those people. He was a true Gentleman in every sense of the word, with the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known, but also with one of the most unselfish and kindest hearts I’ve ever known too.
I’ve always thought Dad truly missed his calling. Yes, he was an INCO Miner and not ashamed of it, but really he should have been a History Teacher. He *loved* History, but especially our own Canadian and also Maritime History and he passed that on. I’ve said it many times, but I know I learned more of our Country’s History from Dad than I ever did in School, and during our trips we took in the early to mid 80’s to see this amazing Country we call Home, he had so much fun explaining to me, and sometimes David too, just why we were stopping here or there. He never did it in an preachy or in your face style either, but like you were listening to a wonderful story being told by a great Storyteller. Now how can you not learn when it’s done like that?
Those were not the only lessons he taught to all of us “kids”. From the little ones up to those of us grown up, anything Dad could help to teach you, he would do his best to. From how to make a Chicken Gravy to certain knots needing known for Guide and/or Scout badges to how to hammer a nail into a piece of wood to advice on Gardening. Not all the lessons were played close attention to however. Judy and Carmen had just moved into their house after getting married and Dad was helping them out by working on their basement for them. As they were working on the framework of this one wall, Dad pointed out a line of tubing to Carmen and told him, “Do you see this Carmen? Don’t put a nail through that line, as that’s the water line.”
Confident his Pupil knew what not to hit with the hammer and nail, Dad turned around to work on something else and, as Carmen says, not more than a minute after that, the water line got a nail put through it. Carmen said he didn’t know what to do, because he’d literally *just* been told not to hit that thing & he didn’t know how Dad would react, but the water was also starting to spray pretty strongly by that point. So Carmen told Dad they had a bit of a problem. When Dad saw what Carmen had done, did Dad rant and rave at him? No. Did Dad swear a blue streak? No. Dad just roared with laughter.
Some lessons just don’t sink in sometimes I guess. Like the year they took me back down to Belleville for my second year at Loyalist College. Of course we had to stop at every Yard Sale along the way and at this one, there were these gorgeous cup and saucers sets out. Just as metal is attracted to a magnet, Dad was attracted to China Dishes. He just adored old China Dishes and I asked him about that once. He asked me why I’m so into the Royals and Figure Skating and I told him, I didn’t really know. I just am and he said that was the way it was with him and China Dishes. He didn’t understand why he loved Dishes so passionately. He just did and he also taught me a few things over the years as well. Or so he thought…
I’d seen this gorgeous blue and yellow cup and saucer with a pretty flower posy on it and I really, really liked it. Then I thought, hey I’m headed back to College and what would I do with it other than end up breaking it. It was with a heavy heart, but I put it back down on the table. A few minutes later, Dad comes over to me with it, as he’d seen me admiring it. When I told him why I’d put it back, he asked me if I’d checked the makers mark on the underside of the saucer or cup and I hadn’t. He gave me the most disgusted look, then muttered, “Everything I’ve taught you about Dishes and you still don’t know anything.” That’s when he showed me the makers mark : Made In Occupied Japan. To this day, I look at the makers marks when I’m looking at buying China. The lesson stuck that time.
One of the most important lessons he ever taught me though? That took place the night I received my very first White Cane. I’d gotten it and also my first lessons earlier that day at School. So, as he’s asking how my day was at Supper, he asked if I’d gotten the Cane like I was supposed to and I’d told him I had. He asked if I could bring it down to the Rec Room a little bit later. He said he had something he wanted to show me.
I was a more than a little puzzled, but later that evening, I got my Cane and we went downstairs. Dad asked me to unfold it, which I did, then he did what I think was the most amazing thing any Father can do for his Visually Impaired Daughter. He had me come in a bit closer, put the cane between his legs and by using the cane, showed me *exactly* where those areas I could do the most damage to are. Then he looked me straight in the eye and told me, “If you are ever in Danger or Trouble, you hit here and you hit here, then turn around and run like Hell in the other direction!!”
Now you tell me : How many other Fathers would do that for their Daughters? Not many. Dad always said the only reason he’d ever end up in Prison was if someone had seriously harmed either Mom or me or both of us. That’s how much he loved the both of us and we knew it. Mom, I know I don’t have to say this to you, but we were so lucky to have him. Me as a Dad and you as a Husband and you *know* how much he loved you.
To Judy and Carmen, Judy, he always thought of you as his daughter and loved you as much as if you were his own. He was just as proud of you and your achievements as he was of mine and I hope you know that. Carmen, he respected you so much for coming over to Canada from Italy at such a young age and, not only making it as a successful Barber and Downtown Merchant, but also as a loving and kind Husband and Dad to Judy and the kids. Even if you couldn’t remember not to put a nail through a water line after being not to.
David and Sheila, David you *know* how much he loved you and he was so very proud of the man you’ve turned into. Very, very proud. The only thing he ever wished for you is to be happy and I know a good part of that comes from Sheila. Sheila, Dad not only loved you, but respected you too. As I told you the night you brought Mom home, not one visit from the two of you went by without Dad saying after you’d left, “The smartest thing David ever did was marry that girl.” He was right too.
Also personally from me, I want to Thank You so much for staying overnight at the Hospital with Dad those two nights and being such a help to Mom and I. I wanted so badly to go over, as you know, but I was so sick with that bug I knew I couldn’t, but knowing you were there with him and he wasn’t alone those two nights….Thank You for being there not only for Dad, but for me too.
Lisa and Josh, Lisa, he didn’t really understand what you do for your job, but he knew it had to do with Computers, that you were great at it and had found a job you could truly shine in. He was so happy about that for you. Then that first time you brought Josh up to meet us, he was even happier for you. He knew Josh was “the One” and that life was about to become even sweeter for you. I think what sealed the deal for Dad was watching just how well Josh took care of you. That was a very big thing for Dad, how a man treats a woman and he knew you are in very good hands. Josh, I know you didn’t really get to spend much time with Dad, but you should know he not only really liked you, but also respected you so much as well. As I said, the way a man not only treats a woman, but also a child was a very big thing in Dad’s eyes. Seeing how you first treated, but also took care of Lisa, and then what an amazing Dad you are to Parker, he was very proud to call you his Step Grandson and a Member of his Family.
Parker, I know you didn’t really know your Great Grandpa Morley that well, but he loved you so very much. One of the hardest things of the last few years is knowing how much he wanted to play and have fun with you and how much it hurt for him not to be able to. I also know how much your Mommy wishes you could have had the fun that she, me, David and Paul had with him when we were little girls and boys. Like playing Hide and Seek on Christmas Morning after opening our Presents from Santa or putting on a Puppet Show or building a snow fort and then trying to nail whoever was on the other team with snowballs or roasting marshmallows over a bonfire. You knew the most important thing though. He loved you very, very much.
And Paul, if Dad was happy for Lisa to find a job she wasn’t only good at, but could truly shine in, then he was literally over the moon for you. He was thrilled you’d discovered your love of cooking and turned that love into an amazing career. Of all of us kids, I think other than me, you were the one he worried about the most. Just simply because he knew you’d have a hard time getting a job with what you deal with on a daily basis. I think I’m safe in saying this but, he did hope you’d find someone to share the ups, downs and joys that life brings with it. That really was the only concern he had when we talked about you. That you would be lucky enough to find someone like your Grandma, he thought would be perfect for you. I hope you know he was very proud of you and he loved you very much.
There has been one thing, of many, that has given me great comfort these past couple of days. When Aunt Robbie left us a few years ago, I was having a tough time because we had been close and a very wise friend of mine told me this : No One You Love Is Ever Dead. No One. Looking out on all of you, who loved him as a Friend or as Family and who he also loved just as much, Dad will live forever. He will be in our hearts forever. Thank You.
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I promise not to stay away so long again, as I really could have used your love and support the last few years, but especially this last year. I was just so focused on getting through each day, locked into survival mode I guess, it really didn't happen. That's really the only New Year's Promise I made this year. Not to get so deep into my Depression Demons spells I forget I do have people I can turn to and talk w/.
I am still writing and have a few stories to share. One actually is a Goodbye to my my Dad. I was almost asleep the night of the Funeral, a week ago actually, when I had a flash of an image : Dad in a Swan Boat, that Grey Rain Curtain rolling back to not only reveal white shores and a far green Country, but also a pier where two people are waiting on a bench. The one person is an older looking gentleman enjoying a pipe. The other is a Lady, a very beautiful blonde haired Lady, who on seeing Dad's within shouting distance, waves and calls out in a lovely musical British accented voice "Welcome Home Morley!!!" That's when as suddenly as it happened, that...."flash" ended.
Of course as soon as it had happened I knew I had to write it out. That happened the next afternoon and I know I very well may have details on just what the Professor intended for Mortals when they left the Circles of Arda behind wrong. AFAIC, in this case, that's okay because I let the Gift I was given in that flash guide me and what came from it...
I truly believe God, Dad or both were trying to tell me that he's okay in the best way possible for me to interpret it. Oh and there's Lembas for whomever can figure out who were waiting on that pier. I don't think I made it too hard for those who really know me well around here. As for posting it here, I still need to go over it first, as I wrote it and have just let it be since. Plus, I'd like to read it to Mom first.
I told her about it and how it all came about being written. I know she didn't understand everything, and I'll have to do a bit of backstory explaining before I read it to her too, but I hope she understands this is part of both my healing and also what I need to do too.
I hope that made sense. Not only do I feel like I've been in a whirl the last week and a bit, but I've also been nailed big time by that hybrid flu/cold bug. Mom and I both have as a matter of fact, and we were both feeling better the days of making the arrangements and the Wake and Funeral, but no sooner did we get the Funeral over and the very next day...WHAM!!! It was back w/a vengeance and I swear, there have been times over the last few days I was coughing so hard, it would not have shocked me, if my lungs made an out of my body appearance. I was up all night and part of the morning yesterday coughing. IIRC it was about 6am before I was finally able to get some badly needed sleep and then I was out most of the day.
Anyway, I've been trying to remember those I know online who would want to know, but LJ didn't kick in until I was re reading one of my favourite Shirebound stories yesterday and....Realized, I needed to tell all of you. Also that I'll need you all in the coming days too. So many were saying to me how lucky I was that the Olympics are just arounds the corner and I had one of my greatest interests to distract me. That's partly true, but Dad loved the Games and cheering on Team Canada w/me and for these Games to be the first w/out him... Especially w/Megan Duhamel and Eric Radford as Podium Favourites in both the Team and Pairs Events. Megan's not only from the same area as me, but the first time I ever saw her skate, was at a Club event. She was 6 or 7 years old and one of my Cousins wasn't too much older, but even then Megan had that It Factor and you knew she was going places in the sport. Eric's from an area quite a bit farther North of us. In fact, only way in or out, is by air. So for two kids from Northern Ontario to not only pick Figure Skating as a sport, but then to find each other and achieve what they have these past few years?
Many times Cdn Champions, in fact they set a new record for the most Pairs Titles last month, 2 time World Champions, Olympic Silver Medalists in the Team Event in Sochi and the First Cdn Pairs Team to land a Quad Throw *and* side by side Triple Lutzes in competition. Oh...And Megan's still the holder of the highest score ever by a Canadian Junior Ladies Skater when she won her National Junior Title almost 14 yrs ago.
Not a bad legacy for two kids who were told many times they wouldn't make it, huh? Plus, combine how long I've watched her and being from the same area, it's like I'm watching my little sister out there. Dad knew how how hard it was for two kids from our area to make it in Skating and he was so, so, so proud of them. Not having him on the couch beside me cheering them on for their Final Competitive Skates....Not going to be easy.
Anyway, my body is telling me it's time for bed. Thanks in advance for the thoughts and prayers and keep them coming too. Mom and I need all the help we can get in the coming days, weeks and months. Thanks Everyone.