(no subject)
Sadly this is what it takes to have your wishes recognized in this f'ed up state I live in....
*Florida: Living Will*
I _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and
body, unequivocally declare that in the event of a catastrophic injury,
I do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. I
hereby instruct my loved ones and relatives to remove all life-support
systems, once it has been determined that my brain is longer functioning
in a cognizant realm. However, that judgment should be made only after
thorough consultation with medical experts; i.e., individuals who
actually have been trained, educated and certified doctors.
Under no circumstances -- and I can't state this too strongly --should
my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass
ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
Furthermore, it is my firm hope that, when the time comes, any discussion
about terminating my medical treatment should remain private and confidential.
Living in Florida, however, I am acutely aware that the legislative and
executive branches of state government are fond of meddling in family
matters, and have little concern for the privacy and dignity of individuals.
Therefore, I wish to make my views on this subject as clear and
unambiguous as possible. Recognizing that some politicians seem
cerebrally challenged themselves (and with no medical excuse), I'll try
to keep this simple and to the point:
1. While remaining sensitive to the feelings of loved ones who might
cling to hope for my recovery, let me state that if a reasonable amount
of time passes -- say, ____ (fill in the blank) months -- and I fail to
sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't
ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct
my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in
the tubes and call it a day.
2. Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a
special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that
these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead
to the health, education and future of the millions of Floridians who
aren't in a permanent coma.
3. Under no circumstances shall the governor of Florida butt into this
case and order my doctors to put a feeding tube down my throat or
through a hole into my abdomen to keep me alive. I don't care how many
fundamentalist votes he's trying to scrounge for his run for the
presidency in 2008, it is my wish that he plays politics with someone
else's life and leaves me to die in peace.
4. I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to
legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these
people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on
my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.
5. It is my heartfelt wish to expire quietly and without a public
spectacle. This is obviously impossible once elected officials become
involved. So, while recognizing the wrenching emotions that attend the
prolonged death of a loved one, I hereby instruct my relatives to settle
all disagreements about my care in private or in the courts, as provided
by law. If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case
into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and
make his or her existence a living hell.
*Florida: Living Will*
I _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and
body, unequivocally declare that in the event of a catastrophic injury,
I do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. I
hereby instruct my loved ones and relatives to remove all life-support
systems, once it has been determined that my brain is longer functioning
in a cognizant realm. However, that judgment should be made only after
thorough consultation with medical experts; i.e., individuals who
actually have been trained, educated and certified doctors.
Under no circumstances -- and I can't state this too strongly --should
my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass
ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
Furthermore, it is my firm hope that, when the time comes, any discussion
about terminating my medical treatment should remain private and confidential.
Living in Florida, however, I am acutely aware that the legislative and
executive branches of state government are fond of meddling in family
matters, and have little concern for the privacy and dignity of individuals.
Therefore, I wish to make my views on this subject as clear and
unambiguous as possible. Recognizing that some politicians seem
cerebrally challenged themselves (and with no medical excuse), I'll try
to keep this simple and to the point:
1. While remaining sensitive to the feelings of loved ones who might
cling to hope for my recovery, let me state that if a reasonable amount
of time passes -- say, ____ (fill in the blank) months -- and I fail to
sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't
ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct
my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in
the tubes and call it a day.
2. Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a
special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that
these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead
to the health, education and future of the millions of Floridians who
aren't in a permanent coma.
3. Under no circumstances shall the governor of Florida butt into this
case and order my doctors to put a feeding tube down my throat or
through a hole into my abdomen to keep me alive. I don't care how many
fundamentalist votes he's trying to scrounge for his run for the
presidency in 2008, it is my wish that he plays politics with someone
else's life and leaves me to die in peace.
4. I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to
legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these
people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on
my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.
5. It is my heartfelt wish to expire quietly and without a public
spectacle. This is obviously impossible once elected officials become
involved. So, while recognizing the wrenching emotions that attend the
prolonged death of a loved one, I hereby instruct my relatives to settle
all disagreements about my care in private or in the courts, as provided
by law. If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case
into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and
make his or her existence a living hell.