Bad dreams....
I've had bad dreams now the past few nights in a row... one involved exes, one involved crazy murdering dates, and one involved a disaster...
Last night was the disaster. The first part involved us packing to leave after the tragedy. It was mom, the general family (cant remember who particularly), and Ben. The other people were trying to raid our car/house (?) and mom was explaining that nothing was worth raiding, it was just memories. Papers from events, and napkins from 1st birthdays, that kinda thing. Then they were there, taking everything, and stealing our stuff. I was trying to stop them and some girl was taking a bunch of stuff in a bucket, so I took it all back and showed her the bucket & said, "This is yours. I'm no thief, I don't have to take other people's things to be happy. Did you want your bucket?" and she looked at me with anger so I threw the bucket and said, "Then go fetch", making reference to her being a dog/bitch without saying it. She stabbed me with something in the back as I was walking away (I'm guessing my back cramped up while I was sleeping) and I started to cry. Then I started to call over Ben and she said "I cut your stuff, I cut you, you want me to cut him, too?"
That's when I woke up crying. :( Then, stupid me, I fell back asleep a while later...
This time everyone I cared about was gone, it was just me and Lil Bit (one of my dogs). We were walking with a bunch of other people, looking for a way out, searching for food and water as we went. I remember people pointing at me and muttering, and it bothered me, so when Lil Bit started tugging on her leash to go another way, I was happy to run with her. (This, for some reason, generated more commentary and snickering among others.) I ended up off a deserted street where there was a big rock/cement block balanced over a cement slab. Lil Bit kept trying to climb underneath it, so I let her go and pushed down on the other side of the rock to make it teeter up so she could climb underneath. I heard lapping, and without thinking let go of the rock, surprised that she found water. After a second, though, I realized I must have dropped the rock on her, so I looked and she was on the other side of it, perfectly fine. Relieved, I pushed down on it again, so she could get water, and realized that I would have squished her if she hadn't moved. This went on 2 or 3 times, each time she was on the right side to be okay. Finally, I gave up trying to know and just held it up so she could get water. When she finished and circled towards me, I let the rock fall and rejoined the other people. They noticed she had drool/water dripping and asked where I found water. I said "Lil Bit found it, but it's just under a rock. No one could fit, except maybe a child, and it's not safe at all. I was scared she would get squished." and someone made a comment about "Maybe you won't fit" and everyone laughed again, and went towards the water source. I kept walking and the area narrowed, as we entered a building and walked across it and were just about to emerge the other side when an officer stepped in front of the person in front of me. He did something, then moved aside, and we all walked through the door. My first thought (and I remember the feeling so clearly, though its harder to put in words) was about how much more space there was, there wasn't a crowd around me, I felt claustrophic before, and now I could breathe. I looked around and it was a small town, rebuilt by survivors. I wandered the streets up and down, looking at people being given food (real food, not just canned survival stuff) and thought that I wouldn't ever be hungry again. I walked by a place that had a sign about finding your lost ones, so I went and they said there was no one who had asked about me, but they'd keep my information on file. They did tell me, however, the dogs had found nice new homes. It was a reference to 101 Dalmations and the "dogs" were the parents from the movie who had found new ownwers, and the puppies had all found separate homes. Finally, the dream ended with me watching a bunch of kids practicing for some kind of performance in a school auditorium.
Last night was the disaster. The first part involved us packing to leave after the tragedy. It was mom, the general family (cant remember who particularly), and Ben. The other people were trying to raid our car/house (?) and mom was explaining that nothing was worth raiding, it was just memories. Papers from events, and napkins from 1st birthdays, that kinda thing. Then they were there, taking everything, and stealing our stuff. I was trying to stop them and some girl was taking a bunch of stuff in a bucket, so I took it all back and showed her the bucket & said, "This is yours. I'm no thief, I don't have to take other people's things to be happy. Did you want your bucket?" and she looked at me with anger so I threw the bucket and said, "Then go fetch", making reference to her being a dog/bitch without saying it. She stabbed me with something in the back as I was walking away (I'm guessing my back cramped up while I was sleeping) and I started to cry. Then I started to call over Ben and she said "I cut your stuff, I cut you, you want me to cut him, too?"
That's when I woke up crying. :( Then, stupid me, I fell back asleep a while later...
This time everyone I cared about was gone, it was just me and Lil Bit (one of my dogs). We were walking with a bunch of other people, looking for a way out, searching for food and water as we went. I remember people pointing at me and muttering, and it bothered me, so when Lil Bit started tugging on her leash to go another way, I was happy to run with her. (This, for some reason, generated more commentary and snickering among others.) I ended up off a deserted street where there was a big rock/cement block balanced over a cement slab. Lil Bit kept trying to climb underneath it, so I let her go and pushed down on the other side of the rock to make it teeter up so she could climb underneath. I heard lapping, and without thinking let go of the rock, surprised that she found water. After a second, though, I realized I must have dropped the rock on her, so I looked and she was on the other side of it, perfectly fine. Relieved, I pushed down on it again, so she could get water, and realized that I would have squished her if she hadn't moved. This went on 2 or 3 times, each time she was on the right side to be okay. Finally, I gave up trying to know and just held it up so she could get water. When she finished and circled towards me, I let the rock fall and rejoined the other people. They noticed she had drool/water dripping and asked where I found water. I said "Lil Bit found it, but it's just under a rock. No one could fit, except maybe a child, and it's not safe at all. I was scared she would get squished." and someone made a comment about "Maybe you won't fit" and everyone laughed again, and went towards the water source. I kept walking and the area narrowed, as we entered a building and walked across it and were just about to emerge the other side when an officer stepped in front of the person in front of me. He did something, then moved aside, and we all walked through the door. My first thought (and I remember the feeling so clearly, though its harder to put in words) was about how much more space there was, there wasn't a crowd around me, I felt claustrophic before, and now I could breathe. I looked around and it was a small town, rebuilt by survivors. I wandered the streets up and down, looking at people being given food (real food, not just canned survival stuff) and thought that I wouldn't ever be hungry again. I walked by a place that had a sign about finding your lost ones, so I went and they said there was no one who had asked about me, but they'd keep my information on file. They did tell me, however, the dogs had found nice new homes. It was a reference to 101 Dalmations and the "dogs" were the parents from the movie who had found new ownwers, and the puppies had all found separate homes. Finally, the dream ended with me watching a bunch of kids practicing for some kind of performance in a school auditorium.