(no subject)
I dug out the Green Cove Song Book I had stashed away in the boxes I stored over the summer tonight. The more I flip though it, the more I see how much has changed, but how much of those things still apply. I remember days in the woods singing these songs. Bus rides from Mondamin breaking out in songs. It was fun. I almost wish I could revisit that place in time, but I'm not at a point in life where I can. I'm still figuring out where I am going, and I know where I came from. Green Cove helped make me more confident, if that is imaginable. I now do stupid things like get on the sides of cliffs, go down zip lines in the middle of Costa Rican rain forests. Before camp, there is no way I would have done those things. I also have learned that you may fail, but failure can be ok. I may have not been the best at climbing the tower, but in failing I was supported, and went back to try again. And again. and again. I never got to the top, I always got really close. Even though I still fail, I am still that same dreamer I was when I went to camp.
"So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
...
We cant return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game" (Circle Game)
My dreams have changed. My room is no longer plastered in horses, its plastered in rockets. I look up to people who have done what I dream to do. Eileen Collins, Sunita Williams. I wish I had the talent in me that they have in their right hand. They stepped into the spotlight due to being the first women commander of the shuttle and woman who set multiple records in space respectively without pause. Sunita commented that she didn't really care about the records, she was doing her job. As odd as it seems, I'm also inspired by their encouragement to other women in engineering to keep going. Being female in aeronautics is not easy by any stretch of the imagination, and even if it was just a facade these two played it off as if it were. They also are out there as great role models. Collins is out there telling people to do what they love not just be a sheep and follow the herd. Make what you love to do get you to where you want to be. I respect both of these people greatly, to even set foot in their presence would be amazing. They are the confident, accomplished people I can only hope I will be.
Hence the reason Sunita Williams speaking at Babson while I'm in class is something I'm kicking myself over. Possibly once in a life time chance, v. class. Why did they have to put this during class time? After talking to people at Brandeis, I've heard they're generally supportive of people missing class for campus speakers, so I might have to beg my way out of class. People have commented that if it had been an Olin prof, and since they'd know me, I'd likely get to go, since I'd give a limb or two to be there.
"there's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line" (Closer to Fine)
I'd really like to remove my head from the clouds but I figure its stuck there for good since it keeps going back there. Over the summer I figured my goal is systems integration of astronautical systems. This took as Oscar directed, an almost lying on the beach forget everything moment, followed by being stuck in the middle of insanity. I liked the insanity, I liked seeing how things come together. Astronautics can be insanity since you're working in an extreme environment, and seeing things come together.. systems integration! Getting there may be tricky, but I'll figure out a way to do it. somehow, some way. Right now is baby steps to get there. Realizing I know what I want to do scares me to some extent. It makes me doubt it. Do I really want to spend the rest of my life staring up wondering what more? Right now I think yes. But at the same time I wonder if I'm limiting myself. I also always have the doubts of can I do this, can I make it? But I realize those doubts will always be there until I can finally see something that I have done that is productive. I used to think I was bad at the robot game, until senior year of high school. Now I realize I was only good at the BEST game, and am still bad at the FIRST game. This year should get me some knowledge of the FIRST game thanks to being project leader.
Looking up at the moon every night is a bit like adding some fuel to the fire of knowing where I want to go, no matter how much my own fear, doubt, and other mental blocks add friction to figuring things out.
Holy crap, I think I know where I'm going in life. I will never say I will head there since I know life will throw a monkey wrench in my plans as soon as I do.
"May all of your dreams bloom like daisies in the sun,
And may you always have stars in your eyes,
And may you not stop running,
Not until your race is won
And may you always have blue skies.
A dream is something you can have
to keep within your heart
to build on when you're sad
or when your world's been torn apart..." (Daisies in the Sun)
"So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
...
We cant return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game" (Circle Game)
My dreams have changed. My room is no longer plastered in horses, its plastered in rockets. I look up to people who have done what I dream to do. Eileen Collins, Sunita Williams. I wish I had the talent in me that they have in their right hand. They stepped into the spotlight due to being the first women commander of the shuttle and woman who set multiple records in space respectively without pause. Sunita commented that she didn't really care about the records, she was doing her job. As odd as it seems, I'm also inspired by their encouragement to other women in engineering to keep going. Being female in aeronautics is not easy by any stretch of the imagination, and even if it was just a facade these two played it off as if it were. They also are out there as great role models. Collins is out there telling people to do what they love not just be a sheep and follow the herd. Make what you love to do get you to where you want to be. I respect both of these people greatly, to even set foot in their presence would be amazing. They are the confident, accomplished people I can only hope I will be.
Hence the reason Sunita Williams speaking at Babson while I'm in class is something I'm kicking myself over. Possibly once in a life time chance, v. class. Why did they have to put this during class time? After talking to people at Brandeis, I've heard they're generally supportive of people missing class for campus speakers, so I might have to beg my way out of class. People have commented that if it had been an Olin prof, and since they'd know me, I'd likely get to go, since I'd give a limb or two to be there.
"there's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line" (Closer to Fine)
I'd really like to remove my head from the clouds but I figure its stuck there for good since it keeps going back there. Over the summer I figured my goal is systems integration of astronautical systems. This took as Oscar directed, an almost lying on the beach forget everything moment, followed by being stuck in the middle of insanity. I liked the insanity, I liked seeing how things come together. Astronautics can be insanity since you're working in an extreme environment, and seeing things come together.. systems integration! Getting there may be tricky, but I'll figure out a way to do it. somehow, some way. Right now is baby steps to get there. Realizing I know what I want to do scares me to some extent. It makes me doubt it. Do I really want to spend the rest of my life staring up wondering what more? Right now I think yes. But at the same time I wonder if I'm limiting myself. I also always have the doubts of can I do this, can I make it? But I realize those doubts will always be there until I can finally see something that I have done that is productive. I used to think I was bad at the robot game, until senior year of high school. Now I realize I was only good at the BEST game, and am still bad at the FIRST game. This year should get me some knowledge of the FIRST game thanks to being project leader.
Looking up at the moon every night is a bit like adding some fuel to the fire of knowing where I want to go, no matter how much my own fear, doubt, and other mental blocks add friction to figuring things out.
Holy crap, I think I know where I'm going in life. I will never say I will head there since I know life will throw a monkey wrench in my plans as soon as I do.
"May all of your dreams bloom like daisies in the sun,
And may you always have stars in your eyes,
And may you not stop running,
Not until your race is won
And may you always have blue skies.
A dream is something you can have
to keep within your heart
to build on when you're sad
or when your world's been torn apart..." (Daisies in the Sun)