As the last withered leaf Falls / Chapter 4
Title : 枯れた最後の葉は落ちる~As the last withered leaf falls~
Chapter(s) : 04/15
Author : tigerxbutterfly
Rating : PG13 ~ NC-17
Genre : Drama, Romance, Angst
Band(s) : alice nine.
Pairing(s) : ToraxSaga, ShouxHiroto & SagaxOFC
Disclaimer : If I own them, I would prefer to make a movie.
Summary : Have you ever felt love at first sight that is so powerful that you can't think of anything other than struggling to make that person your soul mate? After dating various kinds of woman and men, Tora finally found that person. But as always, true love is never easy. Countless struggles had to be done and what will happen when Tora found out the real truth about Saga? The last withered leaf will be the time of their fate.
Comments : Taken from 12012's "Want,want,want" and this is what happened.
Reminiscence 4: Crushed Soul
Tora sat on the grass near the fishing pond in his backyard. His legs were bent upward towards his chest. His arms were hanging on either side of his knees and leaned his chin on one of his bent knees. He was absentmindedly throwing some foods for the fishes that were swimming into the pond. His eyes were looking at nowhere in particular and his mind was occupied about the scene before and Saga's words. He had been thinking over about his feelings. The suffocating feeling that he had been suffering ever since that incident and he finally found it when he was deep in thought. Heartbroken, that's what it was. He was heartbroken because someone owns Saga.
Now he understood the feelings of the girls that were in love with him and saw him with another girl right in front of her face. Yes, Tora had been a total bastard in the past. He kept on hurting the girls who were in love with him and now, he was the one that was in that situation.
Maybe this was karma for what he had done. Maybe, this was God’s monition for him. Why now, though? Why not sooner? Maybe it was planned after all. Somehow, he knew that the pain will give him a lesson…and it did. He regretted now. He just wished that he could make up for it. The pain was unbearable.
How was he going to make this right? If there was a way, he would like to try it. Should he apologize to all of those girls so that he might get the chance to have Saga? He admitted though, Tora was never a very religious person. Somehow, Tora was desperate to be forgiven and pledge to take this pain away.
Without realizing, a tear fell freely from Tora’s eye. He sighed heavily but didn’t bother to wipe it away. He just kept on looking nowhere and didn’t even realize that he was out of food. His hands were empty and hung in the air. He could hear footsteps behind him, coming towards him but he didn’t bother to look. He was too languid to do anything.
Suddenly, soft hands landed on his shoulders. Tora smiled softly at the warmth.
"Shinji... you've been here for hours… aren't you going to eat dinner?"
He heard his mother say in a concerned voice but he didn't bother to turn to her. His head was still kept down, staring at his reflection on the pond.
"Shinji..." His mother tilted his head and gasped seeing the tears on her son's face. "Oh my... Shinji… you're crying... what's wrong?"
Tora tilted his face away from his mother’s hand slowly with a painful smile on his face. He closed his eyes to prevent the tears that were threatening to fall once again. He took a deep breath and stared ahead pensively, still with the painful smile.
“Have you ever done something really bad in the past and now it gets to you?” He asked softly.
His mother looked at him confusedly. “What do you mean?”
Tora smiled again. “I’ve been a total jerk in the past, mom. Now, karma got me and…” Tora laughed ruefully. “It really is a bitch.”
"Shinji, what’s going on?” His mother tried to pry him into talking.
She was sad seeing her son like this. Without thinking further, his mother cradled his head in her arms. She knew that Tora was so high with his pride that he wouldn’t let himself be a cry baby or too spoilt but she also knew that Tora needed the comfort and so she did, even if Tora didn’t ask.
Tora finally gave in and snuggled close to his mother. He let out a sigh that he had been holding and closed his eyes.
“You know my past, mom. I’ve been a total jerk and kept on hurting many girls’ feelings because I was a douche bag that kept on changing girls every week..or guys. Karma got me today, mom. It got me and left me heartbroken by the most unbearable pain.”
His mother let go of his son but Tora leaned his head on his mother’s shoulder instead.
"Heartbroken? Of whom? Is there somebody you like? Or... even love?"
"Yes..." Tora answered hesitantly.
"Well....who is she? Or is it another 'he' again?"
"Are you mad if I say it’s a 'he'?"
"No… I'm not... I'll do anything for my child's happiness even if it means that my son will spend the rest of his life with a guy..." His mother smiled.
Tora chuckled. “Thank you, mom..”
"So... who is this guy anyway? One of your classmates?"
"No… He’s one of my best friends…”
"Well, let me guess, it can't be Shou, right? Cause he's Hiroto's boyfriend…” Tora’s mother trailed. “Is it Nao?”
Tora shook his head.
Tora’s mother pondered again and stared at her son with wide eyes.
“Saga..?”
Tora bit his lower lip and nodded slowly.
Tora’s mother smiled softly. "You finally opened your eyes, huh?"
Tora turned to his mother quizzically. "What do you mean?"
"You know... all of the boys you've dated all these years were not… you know… good? And you finally found someone that's actually perfect for its look and heart."
"Are you saying that my entire ex's doesn't have a heart like Saga?"
“Fortunately, yes..” Tora’s mother sighed. “And now, you finally fell in love with a man that is so kind and handsome too." She chuckled. "I think I would really love Saga to be my son-in-law." She winked playfully.
Tora laughed amusedly then turned into a rueful smile. “But that’s the problem, mom. He’s…”
“He’s…?” His mother prompted.
“He’s got a girlfriend.” Tora told plainly.
Tora smiled painfully again as he closed his eyes. He lowered his head down and tried to hold back the pain that was suffocating him in his chest.
“I should’ve known this, right? I mean, he’s handsome, smart and loving. It would be weird if he wasn’t somebody’s, yet I still ignored it. Hoping that what I had known wasn’t true.” He confided. “And now, here I am, pitying myself like a pathetic man.” He laughed humorlessly.
Tora’s mother could only watch the painful expression that etched on her son’s face. She frowned and put a comforting hand on Tora’s shoulder.
"Shinji.... how did you know that he got a girlfriend?"
"I met him this noon after I bought the CD, he was walking with a girl and they were holding hands... I didn't want to think that the girl was his girlfriend, but he said it himself that she was…”
"How much do you love him?"
Tora shrugged. “Cheesy as it sounds but with all my heart, I guess. Somehow, I just have this feeling that he’s the one, you know…”
Tora's mother smiled softly. "You’re so sweet." She commented. “But you know that love cannot be forced, right?”
Tora nodded.
"So I think it's best if you forget him..."
"How can I forget him mom? He's my best friend, It would be awkward if I suddenly ignore him, right?"
"Then you have to try and forget your feelings Shinji... or confess your feelings so you won't be locked up. I know it’s hard, but it’s worth a try."
Tora was silent. He was thinking that maybe his mother was right. If Saga really loves the woman then maybe, if he confesses his feelings, he can let this go.
He frowned when he thought that it wasn't easy. He sighed and removed his head from his mother's shoulders.
"I'll think about it mom..." He smiled bitterly.
"Cheer up honey… I'm sure God is planning something for you... just keep on praying and have faith." Tora's mother smiled and kissed her son's forehead. "Now go inside and have dinner, okay?"
Tora nodded and mumbled. "In a minute ..."
His mother smiled and left him alone again. Tora sighed and looked at his reflection again in the pond. His cellphone suddenly vibrates and he flipped it open immediately. There was a text message.... and it was from Saga.
Hey Tora ... is everything okay? You were a bit weird today when we met ...
Tora stared at the screen with a blank expression and replied:
Yeah... I'm okay... no need to worry...
After a few minutes, he got a reply from Saga.
That's a relief then... See you tomorrow at school! :)
Tora didn't bother to smile on the smile icon and didn't even bother to reply. He closed the phone and return back to his reflection.
How am I going to act in front of Saga tomorrow?
○●○●○
Shou was concentrating on a certain card that was lying on the wooden table. He looked up at Tora, who was smirking happily and groaned. After thinking for a moment, Shou decided to tell his answer.
"It's Diamond AS!"
"I say it's a Heart AS."
Tora said and flipped the card open. Shou gapped and Tora laughed. He took one onigiri from the plate between them.
"You cheated!" Shou accused.
"I did not!" Tora protested between his munching.
"Yes you did! If you didn't, how come you can guess all of the cards?!"
"It's a coincidence then if my guesses were right."
Shou pouted irritatedly. They were playing a guessing card game at lunch break in the school backyard and whoever won, takes a piece of onigiri from the plate that Hiroto just bought and it seemed that Shou lost the entire time. Now, there was only two onigiri left. Hiroto took one and gave it to Shou. Tora stared aghast at it. Shou smiled widely and took it. He kissed his lover's lips and started to take a bite.
"Hey! You can't do that, Hiroto!" Tora once again protested.
Shou stuck out his tongue and laughed. Tora rolled his eyes and took out his iPod from his pocket, switching the song he was currently listening to. Suddenly, Saga came and sat beside Tora.
"Hi guys!" He greeted cheerfully.
Tora immediately turned his head to the side to see Saga beside him with a bewildered face.
"Hi Tora." Saga greeted with a smile.
Tora just stared at him as if Saga was a ghost or something but Saga didn't notice the face. He looked at Tora's iPod and smiled widely.
"It's auncia's new song, right? I wanna hear it!"
Saga said cheerfully and took one of the earphones from Tora’s ear and placed it on his own ear. Soon, he enjoyed the song. Tora was still staring at him, his mind was repeating 'What should I do?' like a mantra. Then the scene from yesterday appeared again. He lowered his head and gave his iPod to Saga. Saga received it with a confused look in his face.
"I'm going to the toilet... give it to Hiroto when you're done..."
Tora said then stood up from his seat. He walked away from them, still lowering his head. Saga stared at his retreating form. He looked at Shou and Hiroto and decided to ask about the taller man.
"You know guys... Tora’s been weird to me lately... do you know why he's been acting like that? It's been three days..."
Hiroto shrugged. "Beats me. You're the one that's always with him..."
"But he's been with you for the last three days..." Saga pointed out.
"Well... Tora didn't say anything about you... did something happen between you two three days ago?" Shou asked, eyeing Saga skeptically.
"Nothing, I guess. Just last Sunday..." Saga trailed.
"What happened last Sunday?" Hiroto asked.
"Well... we accidently met up with each other and I was with Reina..." Saga answered.
"And you told him that Reina was your girlfriend?"
Saga nodded.
Figures!
They both thought at the same time as they rolled their eyes.
"Does....it have to do anything with Reina?" Saga asked curiously.
They both went silent, didn't know what to do. Suddenly, Hiroto's cellphone vibrated.
"Wait... I got a message..." Hiroto announced to Saga.
He read the text and it was from Shou.
What should we do? Should we tell Saga that Tora likes him?
Hiroto tried to be calm, although his mind was panicking. He replied the text.
Don't! We promised Tora we won't tell him until he tells him, himself!
After a few minutes, Shou got the text. He lowered his eyes to look at his cellphone that he was holding under the table, tried to be careful so Saga (who was across him) won't notice that Shou is texting silently with Hiroto.
Then what should we DO?!!
He replied back and put his cellphone on his pocket. Hiroto also put his cellphone, but on the table so Saga won't be suspicious.
"I don't think it does, because… why would he be mad seeing you dating Reina? That's pretty ridiculous for me..." Hiroto faked a laugh.
"Maybe it's because... he... likes me?" Saga said hesitantly.
Shou burst out in laughter. "Wow, you're so full of yourself Saga! That's impossible! He may be gay but I'm really sure he's not the type of person who like or loves his own best friend!"
Shou had to say that to subside Saga's thoughts. In his mind, he was screaming 'How come he notice?!'.
"Anyway… What makes you think that he's weird towards you?" Hiroto asked, finishing the last Onigiri.
"Well… he rarely talks to me now... always decline the tutoring I'm giving him... and he replies very short answer every time I text him... it's like… he's ignoring me..." Saga frowned at the last of his sentence.
Silence filled their atmosphere. Shou and Hiroto glanced at each other. Then Shou started to speak up:
"Maybe it's just your feelings... we'll try talking to him Saga... no, I'll try talking to him... since he's so open with-oops…” Shou closed his mouth with his hands and grinned. "Sorry... I didn't mean to..."
Saga chuckled. "It's okay Shou... you are his childhood friend after all, and I'm just his best friend... I'm sure you know him a lot better than I do..." Saga smiled.
Shou smiled nervously. "For the matter of fact, yes, I do know him a lot better... but don't worry Saga... you'll know him better than me someday."
"I guess..." Saga mumbled.
They were silence again and were broken by the bell ring, announcing that lunch break was over. They stood up from their seats and walked back to the school building, heading for their own classes.
○●○●○
Tora sighed for the hundredth time today. He had been in the rooftop ever since he left the guys. He had been thinking about it for three days now, yet he couldn't make the right decision: whether he should keep on chasing Saga or confess to him and leave him. If he chased him, he didn't want to ruin Saga's happiness with the girl. As a friend, he should be happy that he got a girlfriend, but on the other side, he's jealous and hurt. He really want to be with Saga, there was just something screaming in his mind that Saga was the right person for him and yet he can't figure out his fate of his love story.
"You know... your behavior made Saga hurt."
A voice was heard behind him. He turned and saw Shou in front of the rooftop door, crossing his arms over his chest. He smirked and turned again to see the view.
"I didn't know a teacher's pet like you could ditch the class..." He mumbled but Shou heard him.
"I didn't ditch the class..." Shou walked to him. "I finished my test fast enough and the teacher allowed me to go to the bathroom…" He stood beside Tora.
"But your intention was to come here?" Tora asked rhetorically.
Silence filled their atmosphere. They were standing near the railings, looking up at the bright blue sky. The wind was surprisingly calm and the weather was warm. It was a calming feeling. A few moments later, their hairs were dancing by the wind gently. Tora closed his eyes and breathe in the air.
"Saga told me about it..." Shou spoke up.
Tora opened his eyes.
"About what happened to you two last Sunday ..." Shou continued and stared at the taller man.
"That's why you came here? To help?"
"Yeah... Tora... what were you thinking for the past three days? Saga had noticed that you were... different with him..."
"Then he would also be noticing about my feelings too..."
"He already noticed it."
Tora froze.
"He told me earlier. He suspected that you might be mad at him because you like him and you're disappointed because he already has someone..."
"Did you tell him?"
"No, instead, I assured him that he doesn't like you..."
They were silent again.
A bird flew in front of them, singing happily and went towards the abundant sky. Tora stared at the bird for a while and turned his attention to the students playing in the soccer field.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tora asked plainly.
“Was it necessary?”
Tora turned his head to Shou. “You knew that I liked him…”
“…and throw your hopes up?” Shou finished Tora’s sentence and stared back. “I didn’t want to ruin your happiness. I know it was wrong but it was better that you found out yourself instead of hearing it from me. Trust me, it’ll hurt you twice and I hate seeing you in pain.”
Tora turned again in irritation. As much as he liked to admit that Shou was right, he was still pissed. He just wanted to know sooner. That way, maybe the pain wasn’t too bad. He heaved a heavy sigh and let go of his anger. Instead, he lowered his head and frowned. A forlorn look on his face.
"What am I going to do Shou?" He said in a low voice. "I mean... I really love him but I don't want to ruin his relationship. It will ruin his happiness too..."
Shou leaned his back against the railings and looked up at the sky. "Well, from my point of view... I don't think that Saga is happy with Reina..."
Tora was surprised hearing that from Shou. He turned to his friend quickly and stared at him with wide eyes. Shou smiled and walked to him, again, crossing his arms above his chest.
"They look like a couple outside but actually hesitating on each other inside..." Shou kept on walking, circling Tora slowly. "Saga was always talking to me whenever he had a problem with Reina... he once told me that he felt like he's not in a relationship with Reina yet at the same time he feels that they are together."
Tora just stood. He wanted to listen to him more so Shou continued:
"I thought that way because Reina was never there for Saga whenever he needed her but Saga was always there whenever Reina needed him. I feel like Saga was being used by her you know..."
Every word from Shou was registering quickly to his mind. Could it be that Shou's thoughts and feelings be right? He is smart after all, and Tora thought that was a logical explanation but... Saga is smart too... he wouldn't fall for Reina, right?
"When I advised Saga to leave her, he said that I was just misunderstanding her... he said that she wasn't what I think she is..." Shou continued. "But it was really obvious that Reina was using him!"
"How long have they been going out?" Tora finally asked.
Shou stopped right in front of him.
"2 months. Tomorrow is their second month anniversary..." Shou said with a disgusted look on his face.
"8 weeks... that's pretty long..." Tora said, a disappointed look was obvious on his face.
Shou suddenly smirked. "How much do you love him anyway?"
Tora blushed with a bothered look. "So much. It makes me hurt knowing this because I love him so much more than myself..."
Shou laughed. "You are too sweet! I didn’t know that a tiger can fall so deeply for a guy!” He teased.
"Shou, you're not helping!" Tora glared at the brunette.
"Sorry. It's good to hear it though, that means you're serious with him." Shou smiled.
"Of course I am! He's not like any of the other guys and girls I've dated with. He's different!" Tora tried to keep his voice calm.
"Then I'll help you get him Tora. Honestly, I prefer to choose Saga to be with you rather than him with that bitch."
Shou's confession made Tora smile.
"I agree too!"
Out of the blue, Hiroto's voice was heard.
"Hiroto?!" Tora and Shou said in unison.
They turned to him, who was standing at the doorway. Hiroto grinned and joined them.
"I'll help you get rid of that bitch too, Tora! I thought the same way as Shou's. Saga isn't happy with her and I trust you that you can make him happy due to your affections to him every time I saw you guys." Hiroto winked.
"You guys..." Tora was flattered.
"Cheer up okay Tora?! We're here to help you so go on and keep chasing your love of your life!" Shou hit a small fist on Tora's shoulder, supporting him.
"Yeah! Take his heart and don't ever let him take it away from you!" Hiroto said as he hit a fist into the air.
Tora smiled widely. He was glad that he had friends like them. His spirit suddenly lifted up again after hearing what they said. He might have hope after all. And now, he was more determined to chase Saga.
First, he has to investigate what kind of woman Reina is. Second, he will make Saga comfortable with him so that he won't think of Reina and third, he will make Saga realize just how much he loves Saga.
Tora's eyes were shimmering while thinking that. Tora hugged his friends and jumped happily, hitting a fist into the air.
"Thank you guys!"
~ tsuzuku ~
<< ∥ >>
Chapter(s) : 04/15
Author : tigerxbutterfly
Rating : PG13 ~ NC-17
Genre : Drama, Romance, Angst
Band(s) : alice nine.
Pairing(s) : ToraxSaga, ShouxHiroto & SagaxOFC
Disclaimer : If I own them, I would prefer to make a movie.
Summary : Have you ever felt love at first sight that is so powerful that you can't think of anything other than struggling to make that person your soul mate? After dating various kinds of woman and men, Tora finally found that person. But as always, true love is never easy. Countless struggles had to be done and what will happen when Tora found out the real truth about Saga? The last withered leaf will be the time of their fate.
Comments : Taken from 12012's "Want,want,want" and this is what happened.
Reminiscence 4: Crushed Soul
Tora sat on the grass near the fishing pond in his backyard. His legs were bent upward towards his chest. His arms were hanging on either side of his knees and leaned his chin on one of his bent knees. He was absentmindedly throwing some foods for the fishes that were swimming into the pond. His eyes were looking at nowhere in particular and his mind was occupied about the scene before and Saga's words. He had been thinking over about his feelings. The suffocating feeling that he had been suffering ever since that incident and he finally found it when he was deep in thought. Heartbroken, that's what it was. He was heartbroken because someone owns Saga.
Now he understood the feelings of the girls that were in love with him and saw him with another girl right in front of her face. Yes, Tora had been a total bastard in the past. He kept on hurting the girls who were in love with him and now, he was the one that was in that situation.
Maybe this was karma for what he had done. Maybe, this was God’s monition for him. Why now, though? Why not sooner? Maybe it was planned after all. Somehow, he knew that the pain will give him a lesson…and it did. He regretted now. He just wished that he could make up for it. The pain was unbearable.
How was he going to make this right? If there was a way, he would like to try it. Should he apologize to all of those girls so that he might get the chance to have Saga? He admitted though, Tora was never a very religious person. Somehow, Tora was desperate to be forgiven and pledge to take this pain away.
Without realizing, a tear fell freely from Tora’s eye. He sighed heavily but didn’t bother to wipe it away. He just kept on looking nowhere and didn’t even realize that he was out of food. His hands were empty and hung in the air. He could hear footsteps behind him, coming towards him but he didn’t bother to look. He was too languid to do anything.
Suddenly, soft hands landed on his shoulders. Tora smiled softly at the warmth.
"Shinji... you've been here for hours… aren't you going to eat dinner?"
He heard his mother say in a concerned voice but he didn't bother to turn to her. His head was still kept down, staring at his reflection on the pond.
"Shinji..." His mother tilted his head and gasped seeing the tears on her son's face. "Oh my... Shinji… you're crying... what's wrong?"
Tora tilted his face away from his mother’s hand slowly with a painful smile on his face. He closed his eyes to prevent the tears that were threatening to fall once again. He took a deep breath and stared ahead pensively, still with the painful smile.
“Have you ever done something really bad in the past and now it gets to you?” He asked softly.
His mother looked at him confusedly. “What do you mean?”
Tora smiled again. “I’ve been a total jerk in the past, mom. Now, karma got me and…” Tora laughed ruefully. “It really is a bitch.”
"Shinji, what’s going on?” His mother tried to pry him into talking.
She was sad seeing her son like this. Without thinking further, his mother cradled his head in her arms. She knew that Tora was so high with his pride that he wouldn’t let himself be a cry baby or too spoilt but she also knew that Tora needed the comfort and so she did, even if Tora didn’t ask.
Tora finally gave in and snuggled close to his mother. He let out a sigh that he had been holding and closed his eyes.
“You know my past, mom. I’ve been a total jerk and kept on hurting many girls’ feelings because I was a douche bag that kept on changing girls every week..or guys. Karma got me today, mom. It got me and left me heartbroken by the most unbearable pain.”
His mother let go of his son but Tora leaned his head on his mother’s shoulder instead.
"Heartbroken? Of whom? Is there somebody you like? Or... even love?"
"Yes..." Tora answered hesitantly.
"Well....who is she? Or is it another 'he' again?"
"Are you mad if I say it’s a 'he'?"
"No… I'm not... I'll do anything for my child's happiness even if it means that my son will spend the rest of his life with a guy..." His mother smiled.
Tora chuckled. “Thank you, mom..”
"So... who is this guy anyway? One of your classmates?"
"No… He’s one of my best friends…”
"Well, let me guess, it can't be Shou, right? Cause he's Hiroto's boyfriend…” Tora’s mother trailed. “Is it Nao?”
Tora shook his head.
Tora’s mother pondered again and stared at her son with wide eyes.
“Saga..?”
Tora bit his lower lip and nodded slowly.
Tora’s mother smiled softly. "You finally opened your eyes, huh?"
Tora turned to his mother quizzically. "What do you mean?"
"You know... all of the boys you've dated all these years were not… you know… good? And you finally found someone that's actually perfect for its look and heart."
"Are you saying that my entire ex's doesn't have a heart like Saga?"
“Fortunately, yes..” Tora’s mother sighed. “And now, you finally fell in love with a man that is so kind and handsome too." She chuckled. "I think I would really love Saga to be my son-in-law." She winked playfully.
Tora laughed amusedly then turned into a rueful smile. “But that’s the problem, mom. He’s…”
“He’s…?” His mother prompted.
“He’s got a girlfriend.” Tora told plainly.
Tora smiled painfully again as he closed his eyes. He lowered his head down and tried to hold back the pain that was suffocating him in his chest.
“I should’ve known this, right? I mean, he’s handsome, smart and loving. It would be weird if he wasn’t somebody’s, yet I still ignored it. Hoping that what I had known wasn’t true.” He confided. “And now, here I am, pitying myself like a pathetic man.” He laughed humorlessly.
Tora’s mother could only watch the painful expression that etched on her son’s face. She frowned and put a comforting hand on Tora’s shoulder.
"Shinji.... how did you know that he got a girlfriend?"
"I met him this noon after I bought the CD, he was walking with a girl and they were holding hands... I didn't want to think that the girl was his girlfriend, but he said it himself that she was…”
"How much do you love him?"
Tora shrugged. “Cheesy as it sounds but with all my heart, I guess. Somehow, I just have this feeling that he’s the one, you know…”
Tora's mother smiled softly. "You’re so sweet." She commented. “But you know that love cannot be forced, right?”
Tora nodded.
"So I think it's best if you forget him..."
"How can I forget him mom? He's my best friend, It would be awkward if I suddenly ignore him, right?"
"Then you have to try and forget your feelings Shinji... or confess your feelings so you won't be locked up. I know it’s hard, but it’s worth a try."
Tora was silent. He was thinking that maybe his mother was right. If Saga really loves the woman then maybe, if he confesses his feelings, he can let this go.
He frowned when he thought that it wasn't easy. He sighed and removed his head from his mother's shoulders.
"I'll think about it mom..." He smiled bitterly.
"Cheer up honey… I'm sure God is planning something for you... just keep on praying and have faith." Tora's mother smiled and kissed her son's forehead. "Now go inside and have dinner, okay?"
Tora nodded and mumbled. "In a minute ..."
His mother smiled and left him alone again. Tora sighed and looked at his reflection again in the pond. His cellphone suddenly vibrates and he flipped it open immediately. There was a text message.... and it was from Saga.
Hey Tora ... is everything okay? You were a bit weird today when we met ...
Tora stared at the screen with a blank expression and replied:
Yeah... I'm okay... no need to worry...
After a few minutes, he got a reply from Saga.
That's a relief then... See you tomorrow at school! :)
Tora didn't bother to smile on the smile icon and didn't even bother to reply. He closed the phone and return back to his reflection.
How am I going to act in front of Saga tomorrow?
○●○●○
Shou was concentrating on a certain card that was lying on the wooden table. He looked up at Tora, who was smirking happily and groaned. After thinking for a moment, Shou decided to tell his answer.
"It's Diamond AS!"
"I say it's a Heart AS."
Tora said and flipped the card open. Shou gapped and Tora laughed. He took one onigiri from the plate between them.
"You cheated!" Shou accused.
"I did not!" Tora protested between his munching.
"Yes you did! If you didn't, how come you can guess all of the cards?!"
"It's a coincidence then if my guesses were right."
Shou pouted irritatedly. They were playing a guessing card game at lunch break in the school backyard and whoever won, takes a piece of onigiri from the plate that Hiroto just bought and it seemed that Shou lost the entire time. Now, there was only two onigiri left. Hiroto took one and gave it to Shou. Tora stared aghast at it. Shou smiled widely and took it. He kissed his lover's lips and started to take a bite.
"Hey! You can't do that, Hiroto!" Tora once again protested.
Shou stuck out his tongue and laughed. Tora rolled his eyes and took out his iPod from his pocket, switching the song he was currently listening to. Suddenly, Saga came and sat beside Tora.
"Hi guys!" He greeted cheerfully.
Tora immediately turned his head to the side to see Saga beside him with a bewildered face.
"Hi Tora." Saga greeted with a smile.
Tora just stared at him as if Saga was a ghost or something but Saga didn't notice the face. He looked at Tora's iPod and smiled widely.
"It's auncia's new song, right? I wanna hear it!"
Saga said cheerfully and took one of the earphones from Tora’s ear and placed it on his own ear. Soon, he enjoyed the song. Tora was still staring at him, his mind was repeating 'What should I do?' like a mantra. Then the scene from yesterday appeared again. He lowered his head and gave his iPod to Saga. Saga received it with a confused look in his face.
"I'm going to the toilet... give it to Hiroto when you're done..."
Tora said then stood up from his seat. He walked away from them, still lowering his head. Saga stared at his retreating form. He looked at Shou and Hiroto and decided to ask about the taller man.
"You know guys... Tora’s been weird to me lately... do you know why he's been acting like that? It's been three days..."
Hiroto shrugged. "Beats me. You're the one that's always with him..."
"But he's been with you for the last three days..." Saga pointed out.
"Well... Tora didn't say anything about you... did something happen between you two three days ago?" Shou asked, eyeing Saga skeptically.
"Nothing, I guess. Just last Sunday..." Saga trailed.
"What happened last Sunday?" Hiroto asked.
"Well... we accidently met up with each other and I was with Reina..." Saga answered.
"And you told him that Reina was your girlfriend?"
Saga nodded.
Figures!
They both thought at the same time as they rolled their eyes.
"Does....it have to do anything with Reina?" Saga asked curiously.
They both went silent, didn't know what to do. Suddenly, Hiroto's cellphone vibrated.
"Wait... I got a message..." Hiroto announced to Saga.
He read the text and it was from Shou.
What should we do? Should we tell Saga that Tora likes him?
Hiroto tried to be calm, although his mind was panicking. He replied the text.
Don't! We promised Tora we won't tell him until he tells him, himself!
After a few minutes, Shou got the text. He lowered his eyes to look at his cellphone that he was holding under the table, tried to be careful so Saga (who was across him) won't notice that Shou is texting silently with Hiroto.
Then what should we DO?!!
He replied back and put his cellphone on his pocket. Hiroto also put his cellphone, but on the table so Saga won't be suspicious.
"I don't think it does, because… why would he be mad seeing you dating Reina? That's pretty ridiculous for me..." Hiroto faked a laugh.
"Maybe it's because... he... likes me?" Saga said hesitantly.
Shou burst out in laughter. "Wow, you're so full of yourself Saga! That's impossible! He may be gay but I'm really sure he's not the type of person who like or loves his own best friend!"
Shou had to say that to subside Saga's thoughts. In his mind, he was screaming 'How come he notice?!'.
"Anyway… What makes you think that he's weird towards you?" Hiroto asked, finishing the last Onigiri.
"Well… he rarely talks to me now... always decline the tutoring I'm giving him... and he replies very short answer every time I text him... it's like… he's ignoring me..." Saga frowned at the last of his sentence.
Silence filled their atmosphere. Shou and Hiroto glanced at each other. Then Shou started to speak up:
"Maybe it's just your feelings... we'll try talking to him Saga... no, I'll try talking to him... since he's so open with-oops…” Shou closed his mouth with his hands and grinned. "Sorry... I didn't mean to..."
Saga chuckled. "It's okay Shou... you are his childhood friend after all, and I'm just his best friend... I'm sure you know him a lot better than I do..." Saga smiled.
Shou smiled nervously. "For the matter of fact, yes, I do know him a lot better... but don't worry Saga... you'll know him better than me someday."
"I guess..." Saga mumbled.
They were silence again and were broken by the bell ring, announcing that lunch break was over. They stood up from their seats and walked back to the school building, heading for their own classes.
○●○●○
Tora sighed for the hundredth time today. He had been in the rooftop ever since he left the guys. He had been thinking about it for three days now, yet he couldn't make the right decision: whether he should keep on chasing Saga or confess to him and leave him. If he chased him, he didn't want to ruin Saga's happiness with the girl. As a friend, he should be happy that he got a girlfriend, but on the other side, he's jealous and hurt. He really want to be with Saga, there was just something screaming in his mind that Saga was the right person for him and yet he can't figure out his fate of his love story.
"You know... your behavior made Saga hurt."
A voice was heard behind him. He turned and saw Shou in front of the rooftop door, crossing his arms over his chest. He smirked and turned again to see the view.
"I didn't know a teacher's pet like you could ditch the class..." He mumbled but Shou heard him.
"I didn't ditch the class..." Shou walked to him. "I finished my test fast enough and the teacher allowed me to go to the bathroom…" He stood beside Tora.
"But your intention was to come here?" Tora asked rhetorically.
Silence filled their atmosphere. They were standing near the railings, looking up at the bright blue sky. The wind was surprisingly calm and the weather was warm. It was a calming feeling. A few moments later, their hairs were dancing by the wind gently. Tora closed his eyes and breathe in the air.
"Saga told me about it..." Shou spoke up.
Tora opened his eyes.
"About what happened to you two last Sunday ..." Shou continued and stared at the taller man.
"That's why you came here? To help?"
"Yeah... Tora... what were you thinking for the past three days? Saga had noticed that you were... different with him..."
"Then he would also be noticing about my feelings too..."
"He already noticed it."
Tora froze.
"He told me earlier. He suspected that you might be mad at him because you like him and you're disappointed because he already has someone..."
"Did you tell him?"
"No, instead, I assured him that he doesn't like you..."
They were silent again.
A bird flew in front of them, singing happily and went towards the abundant sky. Tora stared at the bird for a while and turned his attention to the students playing in the soccer field.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tora asked plainly.
“Was it necessary?”
Tora turned his head to Shou. “You knew that I liked him…”
“…and throw your hopes up?” Shou finished Tora’s sentence and stared back. “I didn’t want to ruin your happiness. I know it was wrong but it was better that you found out yourself instead of hearing it from me. Trust me, it’ll hurt you twice and I hate seeing you in pain.”
Tora turned again in irritation. As much as he liked to admit that Shou was right, he was still pissed. He just wanted to know sooner. That way, maybe the pain wasn’t too bad. He heaved a heavy sigh and let go of his anger. Instead, he lowered his head and frowned. A forlorn look on his face.
"What am I going to do Shou?" He said in a low voice. "I mean... I really love him but I don't want to ruin his relationship. It will ruin his happiness too..."
Shou leaned his back against the railings and looked up at the sky. "Well, from my point of view... I don't think that Saga is happy with Reina..."
Tora was surprised hearing that from Shou. He turned to his friend quickly and stared at him with wide eyes. Shou smiled and walked to him, again, crossing his arms above his chest.
"They look like a couple outside but actually hesitating on each other inside..." Shou kept on walking, circling Tora slowly. "Saga was always talking to me whenever he had a problem with Reina... he once told me that he felt like he's not in a relationship with Reina yet at the same time he feels that they are together."
Tora just stood. He wanted to listen to him more so Shou continued:
"I thought that way because Reina was never there for Saga whenever he needed her but Saga was always there whenever Reina needed him. I feel like Saga was being used by her you know..."
Every word from Shou was registering quickly to his mind. Could it be that Shou's thoughts and feelings be right? He is smart after all, and Tora thought that was a logical explanation but... Saga is smart too... he wouldn't fall for Reina, right?
"When I advised Saga to leave her, he said that I was just misunderstanding her... he said that she wasn't what I think she is..." Shou continued. "But it was really obvious that Reina was using him!"
"How long have they been going out?" Tora finally asked.
Shou stopped right in front of him.
"2 months. Tomorrow is their second month anniversary..." Shou said with a disgusted look on his face.
"8 weeks... that's pretty long..." Tora said, a disappointed look was obvious on his face.
Shou suddenly smirked. "How much do you love him anyway?"
Tora blushed with a bothered look. "So much. It makes me hurt knowing this because I love him so much more than myself..."
Shou laughed. "You are too sweet! I didn’t know that a tiger can fall so deeply for a guy!” He teased.
"Shou, you're not helping!" Tora glared at the brunette.
"Sorry. It's good to hear it though, that means you're serious with him." Shou smiled.
"Of course I am! He's not like any of the other guys and girls I've dated with. He's different!" Tora tried to keep his voice calm.
"Then I'll help you get him Tora. Honestly, I prefer to choose Saga to be with you rather than him with that bitch."
Shou's confession made Tora smile.
"I agree too!"
Out of the blue, Hiroto's voice was heard.
"Hiroto?!" Tora and Shou said in unison.
They turned to him, who was standing at the doorway. Hiroto grinned and joined them.
"I'll help you get rid of that bitch too, Tora! I thought the same way as Shou's. Saga isn't happy with her and I trust you that you can make him happy due to your affections to him every time I saw you guys." Hiroto winked.
"You guys..." Tora was flattered.
"Cheer up okay Tora?! We're here to help you so go on and keep chasing your love of your life!" Shou hit a small fist on Tora's shoulder, supporting him.
"Yeah! Take his heart and don't ever let him take it away from you!" Hiroto said as he hit a fist into the air.
Tora smiled widely. He was glad that he had friends like them. His spirit suddenly lifted up again after hearing what they said. He might have hope after all. And now, he was more determined to chase Saga.
First, he has to investigate what kind of woman Reina is. Second, he will make Saga comfortable with him so that he won't think of Reina and third, he will make Saga realize just how much he loves Saga.
Tora's eyes were shimmering while thinking that. Tora hugged his friends and jumped happily, hitting a fist into the air.
"Thank you guys!"
~ tsuzuku ~
<< ∥ >>