Strawberry/Apple/Watermelon Juice.
I havent been on LJ for months and i guess blaming it on my "hectic life" would be an invalid reason because i go on MySpace almost evryday ... I've also found that i've been listening and "guiding" my beloved friends with their matters when i cant even solve my own personal issues.
First there was the accusation of me having a boyfriend. Yeh, a boyfriend. I wont go into detail on this one but jsut yesterday my brother explained to me that it may be because of my distant relationship with dad. Like, we dotn talk that much and since we don't relate to each other (have a proper convo) he wont know too much about me. For example, if you get him to name my friends he'd say, "Tanika, Sam, Rachael". Tanika and Sam were my bestfriends in yr 6. That was 3 years ago .. and me and Rachael aren't very close friends and haven't been for months.
Anyway, my bro said my dad was probably suspecting something for quite awhile and the other night when he was fumed up, he blurted everything out to get it off his chest. It was horrible. I never really thought my dad would say anything so intense that it would still make me cry even if i thought it about it now. It's sad now..
- kehe my dad just made me a strawberry, apple and watermelon fruit juice. Yumm-o.-
The other was me being called an immature and spoilt-brat. I gave more thought to it few nights ago and now i know that i have taken everything for granted and now, still do. I guess people just see me as the unresponsible, your typical skanky, "flirtacious" (as i have been accused so many times) and "slutty" ditz. Furthermore, just the other day we were assigned to different groups. I volunteered to be "secretary" for my group cos i wanted to manage and take over a certain role for the group. And so i was made fun of being called "slutty secretary" and it was funny the first time but after that it was just repeatedly used against me like it was something not to be ashamed of. So, what. I'm "slutty" and i should be proud of it? And i am not a ditz. I dnt wanna be classified as your typical blonde girl who's influenced through the tv and media and secretly has an identity crisis. And i hate being treated like a little girl. As if im still the immature, innocent and care-free person i was 5 years ago. Like how some of my "friends" sneer at me
everyday when i didnt get some stupid insult or if i come late to class .. im constantly being intimidated by the same
people so much that their faces are getting more and more familiar to me. And just last Thursday when i helped my guy friend up off the floor, i felt so many accusing glares directed at me and a comment along the lines of, "I see serious flirting going on here". So to conclude this, i may be spoilt at home but i definitely won't stand around and be labelled things im not. Nor be treated as if im incompetent.**
Im so sick of all this...it's messing me up and i dnt want to bring my depressive issues onto my other friends who dont deserve to be involved whatsoever. I dnt wanna ruin their day too and crash my life onto theirs.
Its not fair.
** Thnks Kim, Mish and Cait. Btw Mich you can be so understanding despite our many differences.
Hold your head up high Laura cos no one's gonna steal your individuality. Otherwise, take it as a compliment =]
First there was the accusation of me having a boyfriend. Yeh, a boyfriend. I wont go into detail on this one but jsut yesterday my brother explained to me that it may be because of my distant relationship with dad. Like, we dotn talk that much and since we don't relate to each other (have a proper convo) he wont know too much about me. For example, if you get him to name my friends he'd say, "Tanika, Sam, Rachael". Tanika and Sam were my bestfriends in yr 6. That was 3 years ago .. and me and Rachael aren't very close friends and haven't been for months.
Anyway, my bro said my dad was probably suspecting something for quite awhile and the other night when he was fumed up, he blurted everything out to get it off his chest. It was horrible. I never really thought my dad would say anything so intense that it would still make me cry even if i thought it about it now. It's sad now..
- kehe my dad just made me a strawberry, apple and watermelon fruit juice. Yumm-o.-
The other was me being called an immature and spoilt-brat. I gave more thought to it few nights ago and now i know that i have taken everything for granted and now, still do. I guess people just see me as the unresponsible, your typical skanky, "flirtacious" (as i have been accused so many times) and "slutty" ditz. Furthermore, just the other day we were assigned to different groups. I volunteered to be "secretary" for my group cos i wanted to manage and take over a certain role for the group. And so i was made fun of being called "slutty secretary" and it was funny the first time but after that it was just repeatedly used against me like it was something not to be ashamed of. So, what. I'm "slutty" and i should be proud of it? And i am not a ditz. I dnt wanna be classified as your typical blonde girl who's influenced through the tv and media and secretly has an identity crisis. And i hate being treated like a little girl. As if im still the immature, innocent and care-free person i was 5 years ago. Like how some of my "friends" sneer at me
everyday when i didnt get some stupid insult or if i come late to class .. im constantly being intimidated by the same
people so much that their faces are getting more and more familiar to me. And just last Thursday when i helped my guy friend up off the floor, i felt so many accusing glares directed at me and a comment along the lines of, "I see serious flirting going on here". So to conclude this, i may be spoilt at home but i definitely won't stand around and be labelled things im not. Nor be treated as if im incompetent.**
Im so sick of all this...it's messing me up and i dnt want to bring my depressive issues onto my other friends who dont deserve to be involved whatsoever. I dnt wanna ruin their day too and crash my life onto theirs.
Its not fair.
** Thnks Kim, Mish and Cait. Btw Mich you can be so understanding despite our many differences.
Hold your head up high Laura cos no one's gonna steal your individuality. Otherwise, take it as a compliment =]