The end of Shelli's journal
I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was thinking about closing my LJ out....and I'm going to do this shortly.
I find myself realizing more and more that talking about myself and my selfish feelings is just a waste of time. It's the same messed up pile of shit day in and day out.
I find myself realizing that I have less and less in common with the few I've left on my LJ list.
Nobody's fault but my own, I guess. But people are moving on while I'm stuck in the same old place and it's hurting too much right now and pain is becoming too overwhelming to deal with. This is becoming more and more present even in person than here too, so don't take it personally. I wouldn't want to talk to me to respond back to me either. I'm not mad at anyone and no one said anything to upset me.
I hate the fact that I'm not even responding back to some of the beautiful things being written and posted as my mind turns into a wasteland of nothing.
Just a few comments.
Rebecca-You are a wonderful, wonderful sweet and funny person and thank you for letting me into your view of God and life. It was nice to have someone to talk to during the whole gallbladder saga on what I was thinking and feeling about that. One of these days some good Christian guy is going to sweep you off your feet before you know what hit you.
Les-You've been a better friend than anyone can ask for. I love reading about Sassy's antics and stories about the new baby. You are sooooo lucky to have found the love of your life and now to have two beautiful children. You're a talented writer and were very fun to work with. I just think you deserve to have a break from my whining about my life when you've got so much on your plate. The question you asked me about " If you'd could go back in time and relive a year of your life and make changes during that period that would affect your future, what year would you choose and what changes would you make?" These days I begin to think that this was a really hard question, because I start to think I want to go back and change everything. To erase and hit the delete button on the times of my life.
I'm sorry if I pissed anyone off. I do hope I'll talk to yall again at some point in the future. I just need a break.
Shelli
I find myself realizing more and more that talking about myself and my selfish feelings is just a waste of time. It's the same messed up pile of shit day in and day out.
I find myself realizing that I have less and less in common with the few I've left on my LJ list.
Nobody's fault but my own, I guess. But people are moving on while I'm stuck in the same old place and it's hurting too much right now and pain is becoming too overwhelming to deal with. This is becoming more and more present even in person than here too, so don't take it personally. I wouldn't want to talk to me to respond back to me either. I'm not mad at anyone and no one said anything to upset me.
I hate the fact that I'm not even responding back to some of the beautiful things being written and posted as my mind turns into a wasteland of nothing.
Just a few comments.
Rebecca-You are a wonderful, wonderful sweet and funny person and thank you for letting me into your view of God and life. It was nice to have someone to talk to during the whole gallbladder saga on what I was thinking and feeling about that. One of these days some good Christian guy is going to sweep you off your feet before you know what hit you.
Les-You've been a better friend than anyone can ask for. I love reading about Sassy's antics and stories about the new baby. You are sooooo lucky to have found the love of your life and now to have two beautiful children. You're a talented writer and were very fun to work with. I just think you deserve to have a break from my whining about my life when you've got so much on your plate. The question you asked me about " If you'd could go back in time and relive a year of your life and make changes during that period that would affect your future, what year would you choose and what changes would you make?" These days I begin to think that this was a really hard question, because I start to think I want to go back and change everything. To erase and hit the delete button on the times of my life.
I'm sorry if I pissed anyone off. I do hope I'll talk to yall again at some point in the future. I just need a break.
Shelli