Who's going to the senior reception??? This is a real question people.
I’ve eaten too many sweetarts and now my tongue has turned red and feels chafed. The one summer I was a camp counselor there was an evil twelve year old boy on my bus. He bullied kids half his size and spouted nasty things out of his filthy little mouth, while wearing those oversized tank tops with droopy holes for sleeves that all Long Island boys wear and only twelve years olds can get away with. He would suck on this giant jawbreaker-one of those big ones about the size of a fist that you thought were merely for display at the candy store. And yet his mother purchased exactly this. He kept it in a ziplock bag, and each morning at 7am he would take it out and suck on it. He would keep licking it until his tongue was raw and would scrape over the drool-coated jawbreaker. Eventually his tongue started bleeding but he would keep licking, coating the candy in a thin mix of saliva and blood, his own bodily fluids mixing with a round ball of sugar.
I just put on some tea to help me get crackin’ with this essay. I don’t know why but tea always makes me work more efficiently. I am an advocate of imbibing life-saving potions. That is why I love Vitamin Water so much. I believe in the power of the placebo effect and when a bottle of water claims it will come to my “RESCUE,” I say alright, tell me more. In a witty and efficient way:
Operator: 911
Caller: i…need…help
Operator: what seems to be the problem?
Caller: feel sluggish, kids…work…bills…ugh
Operator: open the bottle, sir…
Open the bottle. And don’t worry, sir…it’s a twist off.
Amazing. I read it. I see it. I believe it. Rescue me O ambrosial green tea (b+chamomile) lifesource! Write my papers for me.
The bane of my existence is the pith of an orange-you know that spongy white tissue lining the rind. I am already bad enough at peeling those damn things, I don’t understand why the pith never comes off with the rind! I just learned this word, “pith.” Pith pith pith pith. I have more of this journal entry written than I do of my paper.
I have written 20 so pages, I have 23 so to go. So I am half way there. I should be rejoicing, no? Well, I drank all my tea and I ate a hearty plate of homemade nachos for dinner and someone just called my cell phone asking for Theresa. Wrong number. She lives in Chino. I’ve missed Sex and the City for the past few nights in order to write write write. Someone was reading my Rolling Stone Nick Lachey article and accidentally ripped out the feature article page. Well, I accidentally removed my magazine from the kitchen table while they were mid-story. Heh. I am evil.
I just put on some tea to help me get crackin’ with this essay. I don’t know why but tea always makes me work more efficiently. I am an advocate of imbibing life-saving potions. That is why I love Vitamin Water so much. I believe in the power of the placebo effect and when a bottle of water claims it will come to my “RESCUE,” I say alright, tell me more. In a witty and efficient way:
Operator: 911
Caller: i…need…help
Operator: what seems to be the problem?
Caller: feel sluggish, kids…work…bills…ugh
Operator: open the bottle, sir…
Open the bottle. And don’t worry, sir…it’s a twist off.
Amazing. I read it. I see it. I believe it. Rescue me O ambrosial green tea (b+chamomile) lifesource! Write my papers for me.
The bane of my existence is the pith of an orange-you know that spongy white tissue lining the rind. I am already bad enough at peeling those damn things, I don’t understand why the pith never comes off with the rind! I just learned this word, “pith.” Pith pith pith pith. I have more of this journal entry written than I do of my paper.
I have written 20 so pages, I have 23 so to go. So I am half way there. I should be rejoicing, no? Well, I drank all my tea and I ate a hearty plate of homemade nachos for dinner and someone just called my cell phone asking for Theresa. Wrong number. She lives in Chino. I’ve missed Sex and the City for the past few nights in order to write write write. Someone was reading my Rolling Stone Nick Lachey article and accidentally ripped out the feature article page. Well, I accidentally removed my magazine from the kitchen table while they were mid-story. Heh. I am evil.