(no subject)
varning: moderate to spicy rant following:
i am so stressed. and i think i really have ocd. like i was doing my greek workbook during anthropology class, and the pen that i was using smeared. and like i got really upset. like tears came to my eyes and i just got frustrated. like i whited it out but even then like i wished i could get a new workbook and start over. i can't cross anything out anymore and it really bugs me that my handwriting has been ugly recently. if i highlight a page uglily (i know, not a word) i like have to reprint it if possible. i think it is just coming out with a vengeance because i am exhausted and stressed and break is so close but not. but like my dad gave me a talk about how a girl got ocd when she went to college and it became like debilitating. i am afraid i will be like that girl. making her bed a million times (ok... maybe not making my bed because i never do) but like recopying my notes twenty times until i am satisfied. because being acceptable isn't enough. also, with grades and stuff, i get really upset if its not perfect. like irrationally so. i mean i can get a perfectly fine grade and it wont even be a case of 'oh study more, try harder, it's ok because you did well!' i will get like upset with myself that i was so stupid for missing something.
I HAVE SUCH ISSUES. i probably shouldn't be sharing them, but whatevs. i varned you and i am just tired. meh...
i am so stressed. and i think i really have ocd. like i was doing my greek workbook during anthropology class, and the pen that i was using smeared. and like i got really upset. like tears came to my eyes and i just got frustrated. like i whited it out but even then like i wished i could get a new workbook and start over. i can't cross anything out anymore and it really bugs me that my handwriting has been ugly recently. if i highlight a page uglily (i know, not a word) i like have to reprint it if possible. i think it is just coming out with a vengeance because i am exhausted and stressed and break is so close but not. but like my dad gave me a talk about how a girl got ocd when she went to college and it became like debilitating. i am afraid i will be like that girl. making her bed a million times (ok... maybe not making my bed because i never do) but like recopying my notes twenty times until i am satisfied. because being acceptable isn't enough. also, with grades and stuff, i get really upset if its not perfect. like irrationally so. i mean i can get a perfectly fine grade and it wont even be a case of 'oh study more, try harder, it's ok because you did well!' i will get like upset with myself that i was so stupid for missing something.
I HAVE SUCH ISSUES. i probably shouldn't be sharing them, but whatevs. i varned you and i am just tired. meh...