(no subject)
Ugh. I don't understand why I'm so irrited. Maybe it's 'cause I screwed up, maybe it's 'cause I'm suddenly so damn unsure. I don't know. It just... I'm so freakin' annoyed with myself.
So I like this guy. In fact, I like two guys. But I feel more for one than the other. Perhaps it's 'cause we have a past, perhaps it's because I can picture myself being with him. I don't know. But so often I wonder what the hell I'm thinking. Why I'm going through with any of this.
I'm fairly sure I know why, but at the same time, I don't. There's so much playing around in my head saying "You're a FUCKING idiot!" and then there's times when it's not so.
I mean, I really like this guy. Like.. really really. But there's so many reasons not to. But, at the same time.. so many reasons to care for him.
.... Damn this entry is emo. -.-;
Let's try this again.....
Life is stressful. Very much so. I'm so busy trying to get ready to go to England that I rarely have time to see friends or spend time with family. It kinda sucks, but this is something I really want to do--something I've wanted to do for years. And I finally am.
I found out I can apply for an Ancestry visa, 'cause my dad's mum is English. I even have all the information I need, I just need to get the certificates. It lasts for 5 years, at which time I can apply for citizenship--and I plan on doing so. All I need to actually get it is a job. Which, is obviously suddenly the extreme hardest part of anything. I mean, I don't even have a CV yet. And the site I kinda ripped offa Krystal, but it's 'cause I have no time to start from scratch. I tried. I didn't get far. >.< I also need to make new pieces for my portfolio, then start on my print/digital copies, as well as get business cards, a Vonage phone (which I think I'm doing tomorrow) and money.. lotsa money. Any suggestions on how to make quick cash besides playing the lottery? =\
I've fallen for this guy--this great guy. He's mature (most of the time), nice, awesome. And I might be moving in with him one day. But that's another story completely in itself, which has nothing to do with my absolute current life, 'cause he's not here. He's not around.
But I keep thinking I'm screwing up, and I wouldn't be surprised if I am. Especially today. I just.. I'm snappy, and moody, and it's not even PMS. Ha. I think I'm just getting too stressed out abut everything happening at once. *sighs* I don't know what to do anymore..
I'm sorry. Heh. It's all I have to say. I'm sorry. Gotta get back to work.
So I like this guy. In fact, I like two guys. But I feel more for one than the other. Perhaps it's 'cause we have a past, perhaps it's because I can picture myself being with him. I don't know. But so often I wonder what the hell I'm thinking. Why I'm going through with any of this.
I'm fairly sure I know why, but at the same time, I don't. There's so much playing around in my head saying "You're a FUCKING idiot!" and then there's times when it's not so.
I mean, I really like this guy. Like.. really really. But there's so many reasons not to. But, at the same time.. so many reasons to care for him.
.... Damn this entry is emo. -.-;
Let's try this again.....
Life is stressful. Very much so. I'm so busy trying to get ready to go to England that I rarely have time to see friends or spend time with family. It kinda sucks, but this is something I really want to do--something I've wanted to do for years. And I finally am.
I found out I can apply for an Ancestry visa, 'cause my dad's mum is English. I even have all the information I need, I just need to get the certificates. It lasts for 5 years, at which time I can apply for citizenship--and I plan on doing so. All I need to actually get it is a job. Which, is obviously suddenly the extreme hardest part of anything. I mean, I don't even have a CV yet. And the site I kinda ripped offa Krystal, but it's 'cause I have no time to start from scratch. I tried. I didn't get far. >.< I also need to make new pieces for my portfolio, then start on my print/digital copies, as well as get business cards, a Vonage phone (which I think I'm doing tomorrow) and money.. lotsa money. Any suggestions on how to make quick cash besides playing the lottery? =\
I've fallen for this guy--this great guy. He's mature (most of the time), nice, awesome. And I might be moving in with him one day. But that's another story completely in itself, which has nothing to do with my absolute current life, 'cause he's not here. He's not around.
But I keep thinking I'm screwing up, and I wouldn't be surprised if I am. Especially today. I just.. I'm snappy, and moody, and it's not even PMS. Ha. I think I'm just getting too stressed out abut everything happening at once. *sighs* I don't know what to do anymore..
I'm sorry. Heh. It's all I have to say. I'm sorry. Gotta get back to work.