Humdiho.
Every summer I get back into doing really lame internet crap. At least I'm not using myspace. Blah. I deleted every old entry except for the one I didn't delete. I have been getting very interested/fanatical about the vegan thing lately. Buying shirts, bumper stickers, etc. And books. My birthday is very soon and the only things on my wish list are, like, vegan things. I have two wish lists. One on Amazon, and one on PETA. I amuse myself. I have a t-shirt that says "I heart hunting accidents" (with a heart, not the word heart) that is likely to get me lynched. I have only worn it once so far, and that was just at a coffee shop that kind of caters to vegans and the local co-op. None of my friends have really been in touch with me since school ended. I feel unloved. And very lonely. I can't decide whether or not I'm depressed. It often seems that I am being very cheery for a depressed person, and yet I am sad. I am both happy and sad at once. I do not like this. This is how it was before I went on my crazy pills, which says to me that they are doing nothing and that my craziness is more of a mind over mind kind of thing than a drug fixing sort of thing. If you want to be happy, just be happy. It's not like it's hard. Except for people who really are clinically depressed, who should seek counselling. Disclaimerizing. Anyway, I have decided that my depression et cetera is just a symptom of general loneliness which would be fixed by being with my friends, but they don't seem interested in cooperating. Grr. Whatever. I am bored. And tired. And sad. And lonely. It's very pathetic, really, because I check my e-mail at least three times a day just to read "you have no new messages" over and over again, and right now both my cell phone and my home phone are right next to me, just in case anyone calls. Blah. And my e-mail is being very weird. I think the yahoo people might be, like, reading it or something. But I suppose they could do that without disabling my account. Kind of a big tip-off, eh? Whatever. I'm going to stop writing now. Blah.