cOnFuSeD
Do you ever get the feeling that everything that can possibly go wrong does? That is the way my life has felt for the last couple of months. First I find out that I have some kind of kidney illness, and now I've had a cold for a month. My best friend graduated mid term and now I don't hardly ever see her... oh, and guys still don't see me any other way besides a friend (I guess that's what I get for being into video games and sports like guys are). I just get so confused sometimes... one minute I think I know what I want in life, and the next minute, I feel like I don't even know who I am. I feel almost like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride... I don't even know what kind of eggs I like. I just wish I could find my one true calling or find out where I fit in... heck, I would just like to be able to find a guy to be in my life who isn't gay... one who could be there for me during tought times. Someone that I could share every thought or desire... someone to hold me, and someone too love. I don't know... maybe there is no such thing as love. The last time that I thought I was in love was with a boyfriend who mentally and emotionally abused me... I mean, he even tried to hit me. Maybe I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life. Maybe this loneliness is payback for all the mean things that I did when I was a lot younger. Well, I need to stop rambling on like this... but then again, isn't that what journals are for? To help relieve the stress and aches that run through your head every second of the day? Life as a young girl is so confusing... I just wish that I had someone to talk to who felt the same way about it.