(no subject)
WOW! So I know it's been a really long time since I posted, but I figured it wouldn't hurt me to put some of this out there. Where do I start.....
Well, my perspective has changed a lot in the last two weeks...particularly reguarding those things and people that are important in your life. Early in the morning on April 3rd, my closest, oldest friend, Lee, committed suicide. Lee and I sufferd the pains of growing up together. Being only 3weeks and 6 days older than him, we literally had known each other all of our lives. Lee was always with me. I could always feel him. I had a bond to him I've never known with any other person. My heart knew his, even as babies and even when we were miles and months apart. There's a huge part of me gone now. I miss him so much, I can hardly stand it. And the worst part of it, is that we always thought we'd have decades to make memories, and we let school and family and all the small insignificant annoyances of life that seem so important at the time, get in the way. When he died, I hadn't seen him in a year. I always thought we had time, but time ran out on us and I can't get it back. For teh rest of my life, I will always feel a little un-whole, bacause he had always been a part of me. My heart will always seek his, and will always miss him.
So, my message to ya'll is.....look around. Find those people in your life and make sure you make every day with them special. DOn't go to bed angry, don't let "life" get in the way of life. Speak your heart, always. Don't hold back becasue you're afraid of loosing something......I was afraid, and I did loose. But this way, there isn't a fence to be mended. Make the most out of the time you have on earth and the time you have with the people you love. School isn't nearly as important as you think it is right now, and as long as you're still breathing, there's still time to do and say the things you want and need to.
Well, my perspective has changed a lot in the last two weeks...particularly reguarding those things and people that are important in your life. Early in the morning on April 3rd, my closest, oldest friend, Lee, committed suicide. Lee and I sufferd the pains of growing up together. Being only 3weeks and 6 days older than him, we literally had known each other all of our lives. Lee was always with me. I could always feel him. I had a bond to him I've never known with any other person. My heart knew his, even as babies and even when we were miles and months apart. There's a huge part of me gone now. I miss him so much, I can hardly stand it. And the worst part of it, is that we always thought we'd have decades to make memories, and we let school and family and all the small insignificant annoyances of life that seem so important at the time, get in the way. When he died, I hadn't seen him in a year. I always thought we had time, but time ran out on us and I can't get it back. For teh rest of my life, I will always feel a little un-whole, bacause he had always been a part of me. My heart will always seek his, and will always miss him.
So, my message to ya'll is.....look around. Find those people in your life and make sure you make every day with them special. DOn't go to bed angry, don't let "life" get in the way of life. Speak your heart, always. Don't hold back becasue you're afraid of loosing something......I was afraid, and I did loose. But this way, there isn't a fence to be mended. Make the most out of the time you have on earth and the time you have with the people you love. School isn't nearly as important as you think it is right now, and as long as you're still breathing, there's still time to do and say the things you want and need to.