ghost of dreams
Every memory is starting to feel like a dream, like I can't hold onto it for more than a few seconds and then it just fades off like it was nothing. The pain and hatred still ring throughout my body and I don't think it will ever go away at this point. We tried the clean break and the closure but one of us will always fuck it up and in the end I just sit here angry. I need her gone, out of my life for good. I can't have access to her or this pain will never stop. She may be able to just live like it's nothing and see other people but I can't just sit here and pretend I don't want to beat the shit out of them. Is it really love when you look back at the last 4 years of your life and see how badly you were treated for certain parts of your life and yet you still want to do anything and everything for that person or is it just pure fucking insanity? after the wedding I will finally be able to start healing. I know it's been awhile but I was in love for awhile too so get off my back.
I fuckin hate not being able to sleep
I fuckin hate not being able to sleep