FUCK FUCK FUCK
So yeah, I am ridiculously stressed out right now. Moreso than ever before. I'm so pissed at my dad.
Heres the deal. I have to get an apartment for next year. Everyone is getting them now, so if we don't get one now I will be homeless, or have to settle for whatever shit-ass apartments are available after everyone has taken their pick. I will be living in decay with the fucking rats.
Second, it is about me moving out of home, forever. Its kind of a big step and I don't want to be rushed, but everyone is pushing so hard. I understand that I am 20 years old, but please let me come to grips with it. So I would have to rent from May to May, as they are available may onward for 12 month lease minimum.
So that means I have to decide now and move in May 1st. So we will have to live with my grandparents for 5 days or so. Thats stressful enough.
Third, this is putting insane pressure on Laura and I, and everyone knows that this is the hardest step in a relationship. I obviously want to live with her. It isn't the thought of moving in alone that scares me though, its that I will be here in a strange & dangerous uncaring city looking for a job, while paying rent for a house. I don't have much money, maybe $3400.
And then, my dads just basically tells me to come home for the summer, that I'll "figure something out" in September. Yeah, its not that fucking easy to get an apartment. He says (probably correct) that if we leave it to september, there will be september to september leases. But then I have to leave everything to the last minute!
On top of that, the dickhead says he isn't signing anything until I have a job.
So essentially, I have to move out of home, find a job, finish my final exams, choose my courses, move all my belongings and start working, paying bills ALL OVER THE COURSE OF ONE MONTH.
The last thing I need is more pressure, I'm sorry if I've been a dickhead lately, but i'm having a really, really hard time.
I guess I won't be here in the summer doing all the things I wanted to do, I'll be stuck in the city without biking, guitar lessons and random hangouts.
Heres the deal. I have to get an apartment for next year. Everyone is getting them now, so if we don't get one now I will be homeless, or have to settle for whatever shit-ass apartments are available after everyone has taken their pick. I will be living in decay with the fucking rats.
Second, it is about me moving out of home, forever. Its kind of a big step and I don't want to be rushed, but everyone is pushing so hard. I understand that I am 20 years old, but please let me come to grips with it. So I would have to rent from May to May, as they are available may onward for 12 month lease minimum.
So that means I have to decide now and move in May 1st. So we will have to live with my grandparents for 5 days or so. Thats stressful enough.
Third, this is putting insane pressure on Laura and I, and everyone knows that this is the hardest step in a relationship. I obviously want to live with her. It isn't the thought of moving in alone that scares me though, its that I will be here in a strange & dangerous uncaring city looking for a job, while paying rent for a house. I don't have much money, maybe $3400.
And then, my dads just basically tells me to come home for the summer, that I'll "figure something out" in September. Yeah, its not that fucking easy to get an apartment. He says (probably correct) that if we leave it to september, there will be september to september leases. But then I have to leave everything to the last minute!
On top of that, the dickhead says he isn't signing anything until I have a job.
So essentially, I have to move out of home, find a job, finish my final exams, choose my courses, move all my belongings and start working, paying bills ALL OVER THE COURSE OF ONE MONTH.
The last thing I need is more pressure, I'm sorry if I've been a dickhead lately, but i'm having a really, really hard time.
I guess I won't be here in the summer doing all the things I wanted to do, I'll be stuck in the city without biking, guitar lessons and random hangouts.