A low opinion of humanity

[tiger_tyger]

My faith in humanity grows and wanes depending (usually) on how the people arround me act. (see my posts about the pathetic uys who persisted in making unwanted passes at me whilst I was working in the GAlleries shopping center) In general I have very low expectations of the huamn race. (the evidence from my life explains it) Certain people used to comment on how I always had boundry walls up. Well yes. That was for a purpous. Because I have never met a man who deserved for me to take them down. No one has ever proved that they will act morally and responsiby and with honour. Every time I take a chance on someone all they do is prove I am better off relying on no one but myself, and in this it is no bad thing. For I know myself and will never act with the same callous indifference to my needs as others have to me. So sue me. Perhaps I do have unrealistic expectations of my relationships. Perhaps it is very off of me to expect honesty and no violence and a moderate degree of faithfullness and a man to keep his word whether it be to give up smoking or repay a loan. Time and time again I put my hope and faith out there and time and time again it is crushed into dust.

I have given up on men in my life for the time being. It's still nice getting a certain ammount of attention but I doubt I will be taking anyone up on their offers. I'm just feeling too jaded with human relationships at the moment. There are plenty more things out there that deserve my attention more. Perhaps when I am feeling a little more upbeat about everything and a little more like trusting people again I'll change my mind but I don't expect it will be any time soon. Perhaps I should get myself a pet. A couple of pet rats really would be lovely. I'd need to get mysef a decent cage for them though...Ah well. I'll store that one for the future as wel :P