Story Time
Taken up from synchysis
It was a cold day in the Dessert. The wind howled, the rain screamed and the clouds moaned about their water rates. It was chaos. Bernie and his wife-to-be Alice trudged through the sodden carpet.
"There's more than enough for eveyone!" he said, and it was so.
"Blimey." said Alice. "How did you do that?"
Bernie shrugged and created indesicion. They both stared and won another. Bernie won and created record-keeping.
"Stop that this instant!" yelled Alice. "You're making my future tingle."
Before either of them could blink or recite the alphabet, a Christmas tree appears and gave them both a startled hamster. Reeling in shock, they both threw figments at the tree until it turned into a pile of rubble and vanished.
"Let's get out of here!" screamed Bernie
They leapt onto a passing cabbage and within seconds were fourteen thousands miles away. They were in a giant lightbulb orbiting a planet sized coconut. It took them a moment to figure out the controls and they were suddenly steering a pair of well appointed dragonflies.
"What ho!" said the first one "I'm Captain Peters, Loony Squadron. This is my wingman, Dave.
"Good morning to both of you! Let me take this opportunity to recommend you some of the finest wines known to the cosmos!" he squealed.
Dave held out a mandable with a comprehensive wine list on it but just as Bernie reached out to take it, a golden marmoset swept past on a rocket powered tin of pilchards, snatching it out of his hands and giggling manically.
"God Damn!" exclaimed Bernie draging a shotgun out of his pocket and waving it arround in a threatning, irrisonsible and down right dangerous manner.
"Put it away" said Alice. "It's not big, it's not clever and none of us here want to see you waving it arround"
Bernie looked abashed and stuck it back in his trousers.
At this point one of the hampsters piped up and suggested that perhaps they had better get going as the marmosett was little more than a banana coloured, wine list stealing blurr on the horizon, and was getting smaller by the second.
"Tally Ho!" shouted captain Peters. "The chase is on! By the left...quiiiiick MARCH!"
Alice, the hampsters and Dave, having been paying attention, were ready for the quick acceleration. Bernie on the otherhand was still sulking at having to put his gun away and hadn't put his seatbelt on. (Let what happens next be a lesson to all you who dont clunk click on every trip)He plunged off Captain Peters.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
Went Bernie. This had no apreciable effect in slowing his decesent. He tried again.
Abracaaadaabrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhh!!
*bing*
A sparkly cloud stuffed full of rocks appeared and began to break his fall.
PLEASE...SOMEONE CONTINUE....
It was a cold day in the Dessert. The wind howled, the rain screamed and the clouds moaned about their water rates. It was chaos. Bernie and his wife-to-be Alice trudged through the sodden carpet.
"There's more than enough for eveyone!" he said, and it was so.
"Blimey." said Alice. "How did you do that?"
Bernie shrugged and created indesicion. They both stared and won another. Bernie won and created record-keeping.
"Stop that this instant!" yelled Alice. "You're making my future tingle."
Before either of them could blink or recite the alphabet, a Christmas tree appears and gave them both a startled hamster. Reeling in shock, they both threw figments at the tree until it turned into a pile of rubble and vanished.
"Let's get out of here!" screamed Bernie
They leapt onto a passing cabbage and within seconds were fourteen thousands miles away. They were in a giant lightbulb orbiting a planet sized coconut. It took them a moment to figure out the controls and they were suddenly steering a pair of well appointed dragonflies.
"What ho!" said the first one "I'm Captain Peters, Loony Squadron. This is my wingman, Dave.
"Good morning to both of you! Let me take this opportunity to recommend you some of the finest wines known to the cosmos!" he squealed.
Dave held out a mandable with a comprehensive wine list on it but just as Bernie reached out to take it, a golden marmoset swept past on a rocket powered tin of pilchards, snatching it out of his hands and giggling manically.
"God Damn!" exclaimed Bernie draging a shotgun out of his pocket and waving it arround in a threatning, irrisonsible and down right dangerous manner.
"Put it away" said Alice. "It's not big, it's not clever and none of us here want to see you waving it arround"
Bernie looked abashed and stuck it back in his trousers.
At this point one of the hampsters piped up and suggested that perhaps they had better get going as the marmosett was little more than a banana coloured, wine list stealing blurr on the horizon, and was getting smaller by the second.
"Tally Ho!" shouted captain Peters. "The chase is on! By the left...quiiiiick MARCH!"
Alice, the hampsters and Dave, having been paying attention, were ready for the quick acceleration. Bernie on the otherhand was still sulking at having to put his gun away and hadn't put his seatbelt on. (Let what happens next be a lesson to all you who dont clunk click on every trip)He plunged off Captain Peters.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
Went Bernie. This had no apreciable effect in slowing his decesent. He tried again.
Abracaaadaabrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhh!!
*bing*
A sparkly cloud stuffed full of rocks appeared and began to break his fall.
PLEASE...SOMEONE CONTINUE....