There was a wonderful long discussion about this sort of thing at Suzette Elgin's ozarque blog a few years ago. For us in 'indirect speech culture' (aka 'Guess' or 'Hint' culture), it's smooth and pleasant, though a little time consuming.
An example was, if the favor was to ask a neighbor to sign for a package delivery. This migh t start with a sociable stroll along the street, chatting with neighbors who happened to be out in their yards. After the usual how are you's etc, "What are y'all [you and your not-present family] up to today?" ..."Well, that looks like a nice project you're working on." ... "Going to be at it all day?"... "Going to be home all afternoon?"
Somewhere in this the neighbor will probably get a 'hint' and offer, "Is there anything I could do for you [this afternoon while I'm home]?"
"Well, if you wouldn't mind a short interruption....?"
"Um, the doorbell could be a problem, we've got a baby napping...."
Asker quickly changes the subject and continues down the street. Same if at any stage the neighbor does not respond receptively.
So the Asker has had some nice visits, while finding out how much trouble the favor might be for someone else -- without ever having to put them on the spot where they have to say 'No.'
I like my indirect speech to be completely optional and for entertainment only, because it has many fine qualities but it is really, really hard for me. I'm okay at parsing it as long as I'm expecting it and have the appropriate context, but producing it is amazingly difficult. It is like solving crosswords while standing on my head in a 6-foot tub of jello.
A direct neighbor doesn't have to parse it, just speak innocently and honestly. Pretty soon the indirect person will get enough information as to how inconvenient the favor would be, then ask directly or go away.
So how do introverts typically get along in Hint culture? For me, it wouldn't just be difficult to figure all that out, it would also be exhausting to have to spend that much time talking to that many people every time I wanted help with anything.
As an introvert from a major indirect communication culture (if I wanted to skew the perception of who does what as much as the original poster of the Ask Vs. Guess thing did, I would call it Ask Vs. Observe), I can tell you it works beautifully for a great many of us. There is so very much less intimacy thrust upon one by strangers. Slightly more time in conversation still translates to so much more personal space--and it's really easy to just opt out of most of the conversation if you're the neighbor and do not feel up to interacting or doing a favor for your neighbor that afternoon. Pretty much EVERYONE in Observe/Hint/Guess culture understands that, "Well, I better let you go," means, "YOU HAD BETTER LET ME GO NOW NO MORE MONKEYS FOR ME BUHBYE." For all that proponents of "Ask Culture" claim that they are direct, they have a tendency to get upset and offended if you say, "GO AWAY NOW I AM DONE WITH PERSON TIME," but severalmany times I have had them respond to, "I'd better let you go," with, "I'm not doing anything in particular!" or other rejections of my exit line.
Having a permanent polite conversational exit line is more valuable than rubies.
So y'all say that too, hm. The direct Southern version I remember was, "Well, I'd better get back to my rat-killing. See you later." After a couple of lengthening pauses in case they have anything else they want to mention.
As to intimacy time, even with neighbors or relatives, the example I gave would be in non-intimate tone -- superficial, almost ritualisic, not really getting engaged.
I do not think this is a difference between direct cultures and indirect cultures in general, though it certainly is a difference between specific cultures. (I'm also not sure how much sense the Ask/Guess distinction makes on a more-than-familial scale; I think everybody needs to use varying directnesses of communication about different topics as they move between intimates and acquaintances and strangers, and that which topics require (in)directness when discussed with whom does not always vary in a consistent, predictable way. There are cultures that use more asking and culture that use more observing, but I don't know that they have anything else in common in a way that makes Ask/Guess a more useful distinction than Pants/No Pants.)
I'm very fond of (though have never used for myself) someone else's "Time to check if we left Fluffy in the microwave" -- which was particularly silly because Fluffy was a turtle.
I tend to use variations on "Well, I think it's about time to call it a night." Which may be a little too direct for some people, but unless I'm hosting an event, it's generally clear that it's time for me to call said event done.
Yeah. But stopping on the sidewalk to talk over someone's hedge is a lot different from going in their house and sitting down, or phoning them. As to how many people you have to try (or consider) before it clicks, that's probably about the same number as in Ask culture, since it boils down to the same facts of relative inconvenience etc.
An example was, if the favor was to ask a neighbor to sign for a package delivery. This migh t start with a sociable stroll along the street, chatting with neighbors who happened to be out in their yards. After the usual how are you's etc, "What are y'all [you and your not-present family] up to today?" ..."Well, that looks like a nice project you're working on." ... "Going to be at it all day?"... "Going to be home all afternoon?"
Somewhere in this the neighbor will probably get a 'hint' and offer, "Is there anything I could do for you [this afternoon while I'm home]?"
"Well, if you wouldn't mind a short interruption....?"
"Um, the doorbell could be a problem, we've got a baby napping...."
Asker quickly changes the subject and continues down the street. Same if at any stage the neighbor does not respond receptively.
So the Asker has had some nice visits, while finding out how much trouble the favor might be for someone else -- without ever having to put them on the spot where they have to say 'No.'
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Possibly literally, in the absence of 911.
I like my indirect speech to be completely optional and for entertainment only, because it has many fine qualities but it is really, really hard for me. I'm okay at parsing it as long as I'm expecting it and have the appropriate context, but producing it is amazingly difficult. It is like solving crosswords while standing on my head in a 6-foot tub of jello.
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Having a permanent polite conversational exit line is more valuable than rubies.
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As to intimacy time, even with neighbors or relatives, the example I gave would be in non-intimate tone -- superficial, almost ritualisic, not really getting engaged.
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I tend to use variations on "Well, I think it's about time to call it a night." Which may be a little too direct for some people, but unless I'm hosting an event, it's generally clear that it's time for me to call said event done.
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