Anything you want to tell me?
When people hurt you, you just have to let go. I am trying like hell, just to release it from my soul, but I think the reason why I can't let go of the pain is because said person doesn't realize how much they hurt me. There's been no acknowledgement of the pain that was caused, and that's still being caused. I know more on the subject of pain than I think I care to, but what I know the most is that it does me no good to hold on, to beat myself up because of someone's actions. I will say this though....this person's actions have directly caused me to shut down again. I feel my emotions are walled inside of me, wanting to bust the seams of the doors, but reinforced by steel walls. It's not my fault if I can't trust you again, and it's not really my fault if it becomes harder for me to trust the people I love and care about. This road that I have been traveling down is a dark, dirty road, where I'm alone and it's quiet and scary. I will find the light again, but I'm afraid it won't be as bright as it used to be. I'm scared. I gave pieces of myself away that I will never give away again. Not to you said person, and certainly not to new people that enter my life. As usual you have succeeded in teaching me a lesson. While I always listened to it, I never really believed it...Actions speak louder than words. When what you say and what you do are different, it becomes your problem not mine.
I'm going to try and let you go, to not think about our friendship, the memories, the happiness, I'm going to try and forget what it was like then. And maybe they will fade into the background, and come around only like a song I haven't heard in a while, making me smile while the song plays, but when it's over, immediately forgotten, and put back into that box of special memories, located deep inside my heart.
I wish you knew what you did to me. I wish you knew how much you broke me. I wish I had the courage to say I know, I know all about it, since the warning signs were always there, to call you out, and ask you why you think I wouldn't have ever noticed. But most of all, I wish that I never would have let you. Never would have let you influence me the way you did, never would have cared as much about you as I have, never would have put my intuition on the back burner.
Years of friendship thrown down the drain...and so I'll ask you yet again. Anything you want to tell me?
I'm going to try and let you go, to not think about our friendship, the memories, the happiness, I'm going to try and forget what it was like then. And maybe they will fade into the background, and come around only like a song I haven't heard in a while, making me smile while the song plays, but when it's over, immediately forgotten, and put back into that box of special memories, located deep inside my heart.
I wish you knew what you did to me. I wish you knew how much you broke me. I wish I had the courage to say I know, I know all about it, since the warning signs were always there, to call you out, and ask you why you think I wouldn't have ever noticed. But most of all, I wish that I never would have let you. Never would have let you influence me the way you did, never would have cared as much about you as I have, never would have put my intuition on the back burner.
Years of friendship thrown down the drain...and so I'll ask you yet again. Anything you want to tell me?