Binary by Gwen Bondono
He was the center of attention, always. It was his job, to laugh and be
merry in the center of social situations. He made the jokes and laughed
the loudest, with cheer to spare everyone in the room.
Tonight, he didn't feel up to it. There was no logical reason, he just didn't want to. He didn't feel like bouncing through the company, giddy and jolly. What he felt like doing was nothing more than crawling back up to his room and staying there.
"Liam!" it was his little brother, Charlie, come to call him down to dinner, "what are you waiting for? Dinner's ready."
"Nothing," he grinned, following the younger boy down the staircase.
The party was waiting for his entrance, as always. Anticipating his jobiality as he headed for the landing, their faces upturned as if to the sun. Liam was reminded of prayer.
He gave a shout of greeting, waving at them. It was a sea of faces, family and friends, identical and blurry in his eyes.
He caught his breath as a single face stood out from the crowd. It was a bit of focus in the ocean, and island oasis in his disassociation.
The face was a friend, a boy he'd gone to school with for as long as he could remember. Only just recently, Liam had come to realize that his friend was no longer a boy.
Liam derailed his thoughts from this dangerous trail with a nearly visible shudder.
He was a good boy, helping his mother serve the food, entertaining like it was expected of him. He was Liam, the outgoing big brother with the too-big smile and too-bright eyes, if only for a moment more. He was just finding it a little harder to look his loved ones in the eyes.
"Liam," the voice was sudden and soft, gusting into the shell of his ear where there had been emptiness moments before. It was the childhood friend, the holy salvation, looking on with concern.
"Jack," he smiled, but something about his friend's demeanor squelched his impulse for noise, forcing his voice into an almost unnatural whisper. "How are you?"
Liam's laugh was flat and tiny; he hoped Jack wouldn't notice. "I'm all right."
Jack gave Liam a look, but it said nothing. Liam ignored the tightening in his chest as Jack stepped away.
Liam was used to it, watching from farr off, looking silently always. IT was harder at first, when he'd been ridden with the desperated urge to tell someone. It got easier with time, silence became the other half of his personality, the ying to his sociable yang.
Boys, he'd long ago decided, weren't really that different from girls. They were just as mysterious and seceretive, just as shrouded in an attractive mist. Both were just out of his reach. The only real difference was that Liam had long ago discovered he only wanted to reach for the one he'd always been taught was wrong to desire.
But that was a demon he'd long ago lain to rest.
Watching Jack now, he suppressed his word, his feelings; the half of himslef the world wasn't allowed to see.
A faceless voice called his name, and Liam just couldn't take it. He spent a full two seconds suspended between the stair and Jack, before making his choice.
He took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders against a tide of fear. He looked Jack in the eye, and beckoned to him.
"Hey, Jack, I need to speak with you."
~Lia
Thank you for the wonderful story, Gwen!!
Tonight, he didn't feel up to it. There was no logical reason, he just didn't want to. He didn't feel like bouncing through the company, giddy and jolly. What he felt like doing was nothing more than crawling back up to his room and staying there.
"Liam!" it was his little brother, Charlie, come to call him down to dinner, "what are you waiting for? Dinner's ready."
"Nothing," he grinned, following the younger boy down the staircase.
The party was waiting for his entrance, as always. Anticipating his jobiality as he headed for the landing, their faces upturned as if to the sun. Liam was reminded of prayer.
He gave a shout of greeting, waving at them. It was a sea of faces, family and friends, identical and blurry in his eyes.
He caught his breath as a single face stood out from the crowd. It was a bit of focus in the ocean, and island oasis in his disassociation.
The face was a friend, a boy he'd gone to school with for as long as he could remember. Only just recently, Liam had come to realize that his friend was no longer a boy.
Liam derailed his thoughts from this dangerous trail with a nearly visible shudder.
He was a good boy, helping his mother serve the food, entertaining like it was expected of him. He was Liam, the outgoing big brother with the too-big smile and too-bright eyes, if only for a moment more. He was just finding it a little harder to look his loved ones in the eyes.
"Liam," the voice was sudden and soft, gusting into the shell of his ear where there had been emptiness moments before. It was the childhood friend, the holy salvation, looking on with concern.
"Jack," he smiled, but something about his friend's demeanor squelched his impulse for noise, forcing his voice into an almost unnatural whisper. "How are you?"
Liam's laugh was flat and tiny; he hoped Jack wouldn't notice. "I'm all right."
Jack gave Liam a look, but it said nothing. Liam ignored the tightening in his chest as Jack stepped away.
Liam was used to it, watching from farr off, looking silently always. IT was harder at first, when he'd been ridden with the desperated urge to tell someone. It got easier with time, silence became the other half of his personality, the ying to his sociable yang.
Boys, he'd long ago decided, weren't really that different from girls. They were just as mysterious and seceretive, just as shrouded in an attractive mist. Both were just out of his reach. The only real difference was that Liam had long ago discovered he only wanted to reach for the one he'd always been taught was wrong to desire.
But that was a demon he'd long ago lain to rest.
Watching Jack now, he suppressed his word, his feelings; the half of himslef the world wasn't allowed to see.
A faceless voice called his name, and Liam just couldn't take it. He spent a full two seconds suspended between the stair and Jack, before making his choice.
He took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders against a tide of fear. He looked Jack in the eye, and beckoned to him.
"Hey, Jack, I need to speak with you."
~Lia
Thank you for the wonderful story, Gwen!!