before i can write my paper...
i feel isolated and suffocated. together, my emotions are confused. do i breathe deeper? do i run around in the cold rain, or stay in my house desperate for any human connection? my soul hurts. i'm frustrated, i've had a really rough week and nothing to show for it. i'm taking my first W on a transcript, because i refuse to fail a class. who ever thought i might fail spanish? my computer is still on its endless journey back into my arms, albeit empty and dull. the silver will never shine so brightly again. i now only have class two days a week, and i need something to do the rest of the time. i cannot just sleep until 3 every day. i want to live a normal life. i want to take kickboxing. it's hard wanting to finish school as soon as possible while still not wanting to go to school. i don't even know why i'm so disenchanted. it's probably the severe cold/being so sick i've barely gone to class all quarter. i need a schedule, some sort of regiment i can follow so i can feel good about life. i need to feel good about life again. i need more friends! or at least, i need to see those i do have more often. it's so tiring to only hang out with couples. i like the single life, and hanging out with single people makes me feel closer to it. on that note, it's strange to not be single. the novelty of the relationship has fallen off and i'm left not having any (viable) crushes, and it feels weird. i love my boyfriend, but i don't think i have a crush on him anymore. is that ok? i still like him a lot. i just can't help but think of getting the FUCK out of here. i can't wait for costa rica. i hope it works out and i go, because if i don't i swear i'll asphyxiate.
i'm surrounded by all the wrong people.
i'm surrounded by all the wrong people.