Must Be My Golliwog
It is a freezing wet day. The only worse kind of day there is is a hot sticky day. And my office is horribly cold. I must be wearing 4 layers of clothing and I'm still feeling the freeze. I'm afraid to go outside. LoL.
But whatever. I came here to talk about my adventures. I am crazy, yall. I continue to kind of harrass this guy even though I know he's not interested in me (as a friend or a girlfriend, apparently). I keep telling myself I will stop, but I seem to have that horrible female syndrome that some women have. If a guy is interested, I find him boring and/or scary. I'm suspicious, almost. Like, why do you like me? Where did this come from, how is this possible? Mostly because I feel like they don't really know me. They're projecting something onto me. I guess I project too, but only after we've had a conversation or I've seen something worthy of that projection. More than "they speak properly" or "she hangs out with some people I like." But if a guy doesn't want anything to do with me or could care less either way, I'm all about him. It's really stupid. And yet, I can't stop doing it.
Also, I am kind of waiting for him to tell me off. Or at least say, "You are crazy. Stop bothering me or I'll call the police." I don't think he'll say the last part, but he could at least be direct. I know I'm supposed to be taking hints from all this "being ignored," but I think I deserve some forwardness. Plus I like bothering him because I did enjoy chatting with him, even though he's fat and he lied about it and a little obnoxious. I know - I'm pathetic and dumb and schoolgirl-y, but dammit I'M BORED.
All he has to say is, "Cierra. You seem nice, and we've talked before so I think it's only fair that I tell you that I'm not interested in continuing to communicate with you. Please lose all of my information, and I wish you good luck in the future." That's all. Yeah, I'll be a little upset, but that's real closure for someone like me. I can't stop myself, so YOU need to stop me. Or stop fighting me, and just respond.
It might be easier to let go of him if there were someone else equally as interesting to latch on to. I'M A HAGFISH.
But whatever. I came here to talk about my adventures. I am crazy, yall. I continue to kind of harrass this guy even though I know he's not interested in me (as a friend or a girlfriend, apparently). I keep telling myself I will stop, but I seem to have that horrible female syndrome that some women have. If a guy is interested, I find him boring and/or scary. I'm suspicious, almost. Like, why do you like me? Where did this come from, how is this possible? Mostly because I feel like they don't really know me. They're projecting something onto me. I guess I project too, but only after we've had a conversation or I've seen something worthy of that projection. More than "they speak properly" or "she hangs out with some people I like." But if a guy doesn't want anything to do with me or could care less either way, I'm all about him. It's really stupid. And yet, I can't stop doing it.
Also, I am kind of waiting for him to tell me off. Or at least say, "You are crazy. Stop bothering me or I'll call the police." I don't think he'll say the last part, but he could at least be direct. I know I'm supposed to be taking hints from all this "being ignored," but I think I deserve some forwardness. Plus I like bothering him because I did enjoy chatting with him, even though he's fat and he lied about it and a little obnoxious. I know - I'm pathetic and dumb and schoolgirl-y, but dammit I'M BORED.
All he has to say is, "Cierra. You seem nice, and we've talked before so I think it's only fair that I tell you that I'm not interested in continuing to communicate with you. Please lose all of my information, and I wish you good luck in the future." That's all. Yeah, I'll be a little upset, but that's real closure for someone like me. I can't stop myself, so YOU need to stop me. Or stop fighting me, and just respond.
It might be easier to let go of him if there were someone else equally as interesting to latch on to. I'M A HAGFISH.