(no subject)
Going to Tijuana was, in a strange way, like coming home. Perhaps I was well prepared for what I was going to see, but at first the sights of poverty didn't inspire a deep emotional reaction in me, and merely confirmed what I already feel and know. As the week moved along, and I spent more time speaking with the people we were working with (in second-grade level Spanish!), I realized I didn't want to leave. Ever. And the thought almost killed me. My parents are now scared I'm going to disappear into Latin America, etc. Oh well. If I can figure health insurance stuff out, I'm definitely moving south sometime in the near to distant future. I'm so inspired to learn Spanish and just go. Fuck grad school, field work is way more rewarding. Grad school can go on the back burner for awhile, I'm ready for something personal and meaningful.
The week was not without its share of drama. I was concerned, knowing a certain boy who shares a certain history with me was going to be on the trip, that I wouldn't be able to be present to the mission. While it didn't necessarily detract from my work, things did get complicated. Long story short: I made myself vulnerable, opened myself up to actually feel something, and got played (FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A YEAR) by someone generally considered one of the nicest guys at our school. I'm still in mild shock and annoyed with myself. The worst part was, because of my involvement with him, I completely missed out on the opportunity to start something with an amazing person that was interested in me. The missed opportunity and the knowledge that I'd made the wrong choice only made my disappointment more acute. There's always email, although I promised myself I'd never do another online relationship. For him, though, I would make an exception. We'll see.
For those of you keeping up with the drama: I still haven't finished my thesis. It was due about two weeks ago.
Love, Tiffany
The week was not without its share of drama. I was concerned, knowing a certain boy who shares a certain history with me was going to be on the trip, that I wouldn't be able to be present to the mission. While it didn't necessarily detract from my work, things did get complicated. Long story short: I made myself vulnerable, opened myself up to actually feel something, and got played (FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A YEAR) by someone generally considered one of the nicest guys at our school. I'm still in mild shock and annoyed with myself. The worst part was, because of my involvement with him, I completely missed out on the opportunity to start something with an amazing person that was interested in me. The missed opportunity and the knowledge that I'd made the wrong choice only made my disappointment more acute. There's always email, although I promised myself I'd never do another online relationship. For him, though, I would make an exception. We'll see.
For those of you keeping up with the drama: I still haven't finished my thesis. It was due about two weeks ago.
Love, Tiffany