Acting Woes
I've decided that if in my life I can score and do well in a movie like "Black" , I've done my duty to the career world.
Also, I might be a part of a horror flick. It's really, really, really gruesome. I'm scared to meet the guy who wrote it, it's that disgusting.
But you have to start somewhere, right??
Ok. And there's this other thing. This jealousy thing.
There's this girl, who's like 3 years older than me, a college grad, and with a job at Honeywell....anyway, she's started up on this acting/modeling thing too. And she's gorgeous. And she's obviously intelligent.
Well, remember that photoshoot I went to? That girl had already been to the same photographer and done a much larger photoshoot. She paid, and I didn't...but the point is, I feel like she's always ahead of me. Like she had a bit part in this horror movie I was signing up for. And then, she's already been the main character of a short film. I've been looking to audition for somethign like that forever. And it's a really nice film too. Very simple and really sweet. She has like two lines, but she's in every single scene.
Anyway, when I was at university, she was in her last year or something. She was THE most popular Indian girl at that college. Guys went crazy when she was around. Especially the guy I liked at that time.
It's because she has a gorgeous face and really fit body. And she dances really well. And she's really charismatic. And she has this exotic name, and she looks exotic and she's graceful and fun and ;aodgn;aodng;kjfdng;jgn!!!!!!!!!!
She wears whatever the hell she wants because unlike my parents, her parents don't care. She probabaly lives alone because she has her own job and she has all these boyfriends and she has all this time to go and film movies at midnight (which is why I couldn't be in that particular horror movie).
The worst part? She doesn't even know I exist. We met once and friended each other on myspace. But then I dissappeared from school and shut down both facebook and myspace.
I feel like I'm stalking her. Ok, not even feel like...I KNOW i'm stalking her. I'm being a big creep but I'm SO, SO, SO, SO, jealous. I'm surprised people haven't remarked at how green my face is getting.
Wow. I think this is the first time I've admitted I'm jealous....even to myself. Ok. First step is to admit it. Second to deal with it. Or something like that, right?
I feel like I should join the Jealous People's Anonymous Club or something.
Well. Here's the upside to all this...
~I'm a few years younger than her, so if we're doing the same thing at the same time....I technically started before her...or something like that
~I've been practicing my monologues and am ready to audition for anything
~In a few months, I'll be "free." So, I'll have more time than even she does to do anything.
~In a few months, I'll hopefully be in L.A., so I'll have more access to roles
(Even though it feels like Hollywood is moving to AZ...my timing is probably really off...)
~Acting is my career choice. For her, it's probably just a fun hobby
Why the hell does it even matter?????????????????
I don't know why I'm giving her so much importance.... BLAHHHHHAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH
Apparently, I'm a very jealous person.
This is the first time I've ever been this jealous of anyone.
And it's driving me nuts.